


When The Siren Calls, You Go (To Run With The Wolf)

by missanomalous



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 20:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 52,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missanomalous/pseuds/missanomalous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red finds herself indebted to a beautiful queen who only asks for her friendship in return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [comparisons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comparisons/gifts).



> Beta'd by [thegirl20](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20).

When Red first sees her, she thinks she’s an angel. Dressed in white with the sun shining behind her as she walks into the town hall, commanding despite her small frame. Guards trail in behind her, lining the ends of the aisles and causing a stir amongst the council behind her. Red barely has the energy to lift her gaze from her spot on the floor – days of no sleep and nothing to eat while she was locked away has left her without so much as a blush on her cheeks despite her ragged appearance in front of the regal woman who is stepping up to stand before her.

 

“This girl will be freed immediately and taken into my own care,” she states flippantly as two guards dressed in white kneel down next to Red and do away with the chains that are weighing on her neck and wrists.

 

“Under whose authority?” Sputters the mayor of their small village, the one who only moments before was espousing the dangers of a menace such as Red in their midst.

 

“Under the authority of Princess Abigail,” she snaps in return, brown eyes sharp and menacing even in the dim light of the old building. “I believe as King Leopold’s wife, I’m entitled to such privileges.”

 

There’s an immediate rise in conversation, the hushed murmurings of the crowd turning into a quiet roar as the men behind the table shout their protests. Red stares around bewildered as the guards help her to her feet and escort her back out of the building, seeking out Granny who is stepping forward to command the Queen’s attention. She can hear the demands for her release being shouted as people push back against the unmoving guards who block the rows of villagers, whose menacing silence has Red more afraid than confused at the moment.

 

Red had spent the last three days in a cell after the village search party found her and Granny, sitting horrified in front of what had been the blacksmith’s son, Peter. It didn’t take long for them to notice the mysterious changing tracks at the scene and drop the blame on Red’s shoulders, despite Granny’s own insistence that it had been herself. Endless hours of crying and isolation had left her overjoyed at the very thought of leaving the stone cells until she was placed in front of Peter’s father, a looming man with burly arms and dark eyes that left her with little hope that the council she was presented in front of would show her any leniency. Until _she_ appeared out of the blue.

 

Red’s mumbling directions to their cabin as the men inform her that she’ll need to collect her things, her grandmother having caught up with them by the time they make it halfway through the large expanse of field before their home.

 

“What’s going on?” Red asks desperately, stumbling over her own feet as she keeps up the brisk pace the guards have taken to, surely an attempt to stay ahead of the mob of people undoubtedly swarming from the town hall. “Where are they taking us?”

 

“Away.” Granny refuses to say anything else on the matter, gathering the few heirlooms she’s kept around the house and spurring Red to hurry along. When they return to the damp gray morning outside, the small crowd of guards have gathered around a cluster of horses, the woman in white standing in the center of them.

 

“You have no reason to be frightened, dear. No one will harm you while I’m around.” Her eyes seem vibrant when surrounded by billowing snow, her skin glowing from the whipping winds. “You’re very young.”

 

“Seventeen this autumn,” she fumbles for a moment, “Your Majesty.”

 

Her lips curve into a sweet smile that makes Red feel breathless and dizzy. “Regina, please. My friends call me Regina. And I’d like very much for us to be friends…”

 

“She’s been ‘Red’ for years now, I don’t think she’d even remember to respond to anything else.”

 

“Red,” Regina continues. She reaches forward to grasp Red’s hand just as the sounds of the angry crowds begin to be heard coming from the forest. “I’d like to help you, if you’ll let me. You and your grandmother shall live as my guests inside the castle walls and I ask only that you repay me with the same loyalty I’ve shown you on this day.”

 

“Of course.” Regina’s grin grows and she squeezes Red’s hand once more before climbing onto the chestnut horse behind her. She’s about to spur the animal on when Red finally manages to find her voice once more, stepping forward and daring to reach out to brush a gloved hand over the now snow-drenched ends of the Queen’s dress. “Wait! Why… why are you doing this for me? I killed that boy, they had every right–”

 

“A young girl who can defend herself against the most fearsome of men, by turning into an animal without the use of magic no less. Child, you are nothing short of a miracle, you are the very best of assets, and now you are my friend.” Regina turns her head to look out at the people appearing between the trees, her sweet smile turning vicious as she watches them try to push past her guards. She glances back at Red and winks. “And I think we’re going to have some fun, you and I.”

 

She rides off without so much as another word, a flurry of white and brown in the blowing winds, leaving Red to scramble onto a horse, reaching down to help pull Granny on behind her. The royal party is long, heavy with guards and the Queen’s personal court and Red easily gets lost among the trail of people who ride tirelessly into the night until they pass the border of her land and into the snow-free forests of Regina’s land, reaching the fields that surround a looming castle well past midnight. Who else is in the party or how large it actually is, Red doesn’t know, but she can’t help but wonder if this was the regular retainer for the monarch, if she had expected a fight upon her journey, or if she was just picking Red up on her way home from somewhere. Red’s never felt so exhausted in her life as she steps down from the horse and takes in the sight of towers and lights from the villagers, the last few days finally catching up with her.

 

A young blonde boy appears seemingly out of nowhere, dressed in a dark green doublet embroidered with gold stitching. He’s handsome enough but Red can make out the long scars on his neck despite the high collar he wears, vicious marks on an otherwise idyllic young man.

 

“The Queen has asked me to escort you to your new lodgings. She’s asked that we be as discreet as possible.” She can’t identify his accent and he doesn’t smile or even meet their eyes, but Red decides she likes this nameless boy who takes the few bags they have and walks them along the moonlit passages of the village that is encompassed by the large walls.

 

He stops in front of a modest home, one Red can imagine goes unnoticed by most who pass with its position backed into a corner against the curved wall of the city limits and the tower that marks the beginning of the royal courtyard, blocked off from those who are not permitted. As they enter he immediately begins the task of lighting the candles littered around the room, frowning as he watches Granny attend to the fire.

 

“I’ve been told to get you settled–”

 

“What’s your name, boy?”

 

The blonde seems taken aback by the request, briefly looking at Red as if to ask for help. “Abel, ma’am.”

 

“And where are you from, Abel?”

 

“The northern border.”

 

“Well, Abel, you can tell the Queen and anyone from your village back home that women from our forest start their own fires.”

 

After successfully starting a roaring fire, Granny takes their bags from where he’s set them down and proceeds to unpack the few things they’ve brought, leaving Red to help Abel take the shutters down from the windows. Spring has come early to this land, unlike Red’s own up in the mountains where the snow is still knee deep.

 

“Why is the Queen doing this for us?” she asks quietly as the stoic boy heads towards the entrance. He turns and faces her with his hands behind his back, standing at attention whenever she speaks but still evading her gaze. “I was set to die… how did she even know?”

 

“The Queen has more or less told me that she’s started to become aware that making her own allegiances within the kingdom would be in her best interest, but she wants to maintain her… friends outside that of this kingdom’s knowledge and social circles.”

 

“The Queen’s recruiting teenage girls for a secret army?” she asks as Granny walks over to accept the key from Abel’s grasp.

 

“She sees great potential in you. As far as how she heard about your impending trial… well, they say she has a friend who… who is very astute in the search for power.” He leaves with a curt nod of his head and is stalking down the dark alleyway.

 

“His scar looks just like yours,” Red breathes as her grandmother steps forward to lock the door once more. “Granny, was he–”

 

“Yes.” She turns on spot and walks over to grasp Red’s forearms, forcing her granddaughter to maintain her gaze. “Red, we have to be careful.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Peter would still be alive if you–”

 

“I know. And I am so sorry. But we have much more to worry about now.” Her look is steely and it frightens Red to no end, her already frayed nerves at their peak from three days of constant agitation. “The Queen has all but bought you with what she did today. She promises to train you, to help you with the wolf. She claims to know someone within the city who is a wolf. But you _cannot_ trust her, Red.”

 

“Not like you, right, Granny?” she asks, tearing her arms from the older woman’s hold and stepping further into the room. “You’ve certainly never given me a reason to not trust you, after all. How long have you kept this from me? How many people have I killed over the years?”

 

“Do not be foolish. You can’t afford it here. She says you are her friend, but you’re her prisoner, make no mist–”

 

Three days of trauma and upheaval (and the fact that she _is_ only sixteen years of age) have her running out of the small multi-purpose room and into the first one she spots with a bed, throwing the door closed behind her, immensely thankful when she hears Granny sigh in an apparent surrender. The moon is still large and looming, even through the small window of her room, leaving the brunette to wrap the cloak more tightly around her. ‘ _Red repels wolves_ ’ Granny had said over and over. How stupid could she have been to believe that?

 

Red is at least somewhat thankful that she doesn’t remember being the wolf, too terrified to imagine what Peter’s last moments could have been like. It had been her own mistake, for sneaking out with the boy when she had expressly been warned about the dangers of wolves during full moons. If only Red had known she was the one she had to worry about.

 

She falls into a dreamless, exhausted sleep the moment she collapses onto the bed, curled under her cloak and hoping to awake the next day to find this to all be a confusing, messy nightmare. When she wakes she finds herself in the same bed however, rising to the entirely new sounds of the city rather than the forest noises she was so accustomed to greeting the day with. Red doesn’t bother to feign staying mad at her grandmother, despite the fact that she is and Granny knows it. But grudges seemed pointless to her, far too exhausting a thing to carry on one’s shoulders.

 

She deposits her hood and gloves before washing her face and hands in the basin laid out in the hall under an old mirror, glancing at herself in the reflection. She has a prettiness about her, she’s always known that – the dark hair, bright eyes, clear skin and slim waist; all perfectly desirable features, features that probably made her the prettiest girl in her village, not that it was much of an accomplishment. Red had grown up her whole life with people excusing her mischief because she could smile her way out of anything.

 

But the Queen… she was _beautiful_. Red has only seen her face for a grand total of a minute speaking with the other woman, but every feature is clear in her mind – the warm tone of her skin, the soft brown eyes, the way her clothes hugged her figure despite the brisk weather calling for layers, even the small scar on her upper lip. Red wants nothing more than to know how she got it at this moment, but a knock on their door has her whirling around to share a look with Granny, who checks out the window and sighs before she answers the call.

 

Regina stands before them, glowing in the early morning light despite the dark red riding clothes she’s dressed in. Her hair is brushed away from her face, a braid adorned across the crown of her head to hold it back. She still remains as regal as ever, but the attire has her blending in with the crowds who are starting their days outside, passing the corner house without so much as a second glance. Still, the Queen remains so transfixing that it takes Red a full minute to realize that Abel has stepped into the home behind her, two pails of water in his hands.

 

“I took you for early risers. Were you comfortable? Abel assures me he stocked the kitchen with whatever you might need for the next few days. And that even if he hadn’t, he said you seemed as if you could make do on your own.”

 

“Being self-reliant is something we learn early in our family,” Granny replies with an icy gaze. “It’s not something we discourage.”

 

“And by all means, you shouldn’t. Relying on other people… well, that can get you into a whole mess of trouble.” Regina takes a seat at the small round table, looking as comfortable as if she lived there herself. She glances back at Abel, who looks particularly handsome when Red can make out that his eyes match the same forest green of his doublet. “Will you start some water boiling, dear? I could use some tea after such a long night.”

 

The blonde boy nods and sidesteps around Granny to fetch the kettle as she takes a seat across from Regina, leaving Red to awkwardly sit between them. Regina removes her gloves and undoes the buttons of her jacket, draping it over the back of her chair before settling in again. She looks at Red, her charming smile heavy with concern and sympathy.

 

“This all must be terribly confusing to you. Your grandmother told me that you weren’t aware before the… unpleasantness.”

 

Red drops her gaze immediately and it’s Granny who eventually fills the silence, explaining the beginning of Red’s transformations at the age of twelve and how it prompted her to seek out a cure.

 

“The cloak?” Granny nods and Regina glances at Abel who promptly retrieves the item in question and brings it over for the Queen’s inspection. Red suddenly feels naked as she watches the older woman scrutinize the item she’s had for so long and worn nearly every day. “And what did you have to give _him_ in return?”

 

Red sends Granny a confused look but the matriarch glances away, something Red has never witnessed in her life. Regina spares her further inquiry, nodding in a manner that suggests she understands whatever Granny isn’t saying and eventually Red has to force herself to speak. “ _Who?_ ”

 

“A man I hope you never have to meet,” Regina replies diplomatically, straightening as her blonde helper returns with her tea, reaching for it only to stop herself. “Honey.”

 

“What exactly are your plans with my granddaughter? She’s not a mindless soldier–”

 

“I don’t want her to be one. I could tell she was absolutely distraught at that trial – certainly not the mind of a murderer. I wouldn’t ever want Red to lose that part of herself.” The way the Queen speaks about her, like she’s not even in the room but in desperate need to be defended, makes Red’s breath catch in her throat and her cheeks darken at the pleading tone. Regina accepts the cup from Abel once again to take a sip of the now-sweetened drink. “But I can tell what potential she has with her unique abilities, all she needs to learn is control. If she can, we can turn this curse into a gift.”

 

“And what would you know about learning to control the wolf?” Granny snaps before Red can embarrass herself by gushing with gratitude towards the monarch.

 

Regina waits before replying, stirring her tea and taking another delicate drink before speaking. “Abel, show them your scar.”

 

The blonde, who is standing at attention behind Regina, promptly obeys, stripping himself of his doublet and tunic to reveal his marred abdomen. Three vicious scratches extend from the middle of his neck down to just above his navel, each one a good two inches wide at their worst. Red can’t help the gasp that slips out as she watches Abel calmly fold his clothes over his forearm before resuming his knightly position behind the Queen.

 

“Abel’s father has a story similar to your own, Red. He was bitten one night in the woods when Abel was four. Fortunately he was aware enough to know what happened to him, and to seek something such as your cloak. He lived safely for ten years until one night in the same woods where he was bitten; his hood fell off while he was sleeping.”

 

Regina takes another sip of her beverage, whether for dramatic pause or actual need for a drink, Red doesn’t know. “He killed his wife, but his son had managed to gut him with a silver-tipped arrow as he lunged at him. I was on a stroll through the forest the next morning when I found Abel and his father. I managed to keep Abel alive and aid his father in his training, for which his father is indebted to me. He will help Red control the wolf.”

 

“How did he learn to control it?” Red asks, eyes still on the ridged skin that blemished Abel’s chest.

 

“Unfortunately Jackson didn’t have the luxury of a pack, so we had to find an alternate method by injecting wolfsbane into his blood during the full moons. It’s not something I’d wish on you.” Regina glances at Red and follows her line of vision before motioning for Abel to redress, standing from her seat as he does. “I wish I could stay longer, but my absence will be felt if I do. I’ll take this time to remind you that for the time being this must remain secret, I’m sure you can come up with a discreet tale to fill your neighbors in on your sudden arrival, but please remain as unmentionable as possible. Like anyone in the Queen’s Army, you shall receive a stipend while you train that will leave you more than comfortable, I’m sure.”

 

“When will I see you again?”

 

Regina slows the brisk pace she’s adopted with her movements as she puts her jacket on once more, that lovely smile returning to her lips as she looks to Red. “Soon. Abel will keep my updated on your progress and will happily relay any messages you need to give me. If all goes well with your training, I expect we will be seeing a lot of each other. Abel will be by this evening to take you to your training. Be sure to rest, I imagine it will be a long night.”

 

* * *

 

Their first day is spent exploring the marketplace upon Red’s insistence and Granny’s reluctant need to fill their new home with a few things. Red is instantly taken with the sight of hundreds of people, traders and laborers and even the occasional diplomat. The experience is enough to take Red’s mind off the last few days and her anxiety about her future within castle walls.

 

At midday there’s a noticeable increase of guards and a hush among the crowd as a young girl in a shimmering green dress walks through the square, the people of the kingdom giving her a wide berth as she passes. The rush dies as the crowd stops to watch the raven-haired girl as she talks to the various village children who run up to meet her.

 

“The Princess?”

 

“Must be,” Granny nods, returning her eyes to the produce she was scrutinizing.

 

Red shifts the basket in her arms as she studies the girl. She is clearly well loved and doesn’t look to be much older than Red if she was at all, though she carries herself like a girl who never knew tragedy. “Regina can’t be her mother.”

 

“I’d gather that Regina isn’t _that_ much older than you and she certainly doesn’t look like she’s had any children.” Fruits selected, she pays the man behind the stall and tugs on Red’s sleeve until she tears her eyes away from the young princess. “I think I remember hearing a few years ago about this king’s wife dying. Regina must be his second.”

 

“What do you think Regina’s reasons are for helping me? You obviously don’t trust her, but why?”

 

“Because I know people, Red. And there’s something dark in her. Whatever she has planned for you, you have to know that she’s not doing any of this out of the goodness of her heart.” Granny stops and turns unexpectedly, almost causing Red to crash into her. “Promise me you’ll remember that, Red.”

 

“I will, Granny.”

 

When they return to their quaint home they set about drafting plans to make it their own, Granny immediately pulling out the yards of fabric she’s purchased so she can start on valences and a tablecloth while Red rearranges the furniture to suit them better. Early in the afternoon she takes a nap at Granny’s insistence and when she wakes it’s a flurry of activity of forcing her to eat before Abel hurries her out the door, setting a brisk pace as they walk that Red, with her long legs, can barely keep up with.

 

“Do you know what I’m in for with this training?”

 

“No, I don’t know what my father has planned.”

 

“So you don’t change then?” Abel shakes his head and takes a sharp right at an intersection of streets, leaving her to scramble to stay in step. “What exactly is your title here?”

 

“The Queen asked the King to make me one of his wards, though I’m mostly at her disposal rather than his. He already has squires and enough numbers for hunting parties, and I don’t have noble blood so I don’t think I’m often considered.”

 

“That’s terrible.”

 

“The King is a loathsome man, I’m grateful for what he’s done for me but I’m even more thankful that I don’t have to spend much time with him.”

 

Red blinks in surprise, trying to think back to any time she had heard about this kingdom and its rulers, though she can’t remember much. They continue walking down a dark, abandoned alley that seems to head straight for the outer wall but Abel doesn’t change direction nor slow his pace.

 

“Why did the Queen marry him then?”

 

Breaking his stoic demeanor but not his stride, the blonde sends her a look of bewilderment. “Do noble women have a choice in your land?”

 

It had never crossed her mind, to be quite frank. Village women certainly had their choice if they were lucky, but if they became too old the burden for their livelihood would fall upon generally unwilling fathers. She supposes women of noble houses probably didn’t have the particular luxury of that particular fate.

 

“I guess they don’t. Other than taxes we didn’t have much to do with our rulers.” She begins to slow her pace as they come close to the wall, but even with the looming shadow settling over them as they drew near she can make out the black door set in the stone. Abel pulls a key out of his pocket and unlocks it, holding it open to allow her through before closing it behind them and leading her down the narrow passage. “Is she nice? The Queen?”

 

“She’s the most generous woman I know.”

 

“And your father?”

 

“As he can hear us right now, I will undoubtedly be giving you both a biased and influenced opinion.”

 

Red can hear something down the dimly lit hall, a noise she can’t quite make out due to the distance but one that confirms the presence of another person and it has goose bumps running down her arms. They walk for a good minute at their rushed pace, the slight incline leading them well below surface level until they come to a thick, vault-like door. Abel produces another key and then turns the large lock until it clicks and the steel door opens into a large, circular room that extends upwards past a balcony on the second floor and into darkness.

 

A giant, towering, mountain of a man stands in the middle of the room, course blonde hair covering his head and face, steely blue eyes already inspecting Red. The stare is so penetrating that she automatically takes a step back, only to feel Abel’s hand appear from behind his back and lightly settle on hers before pushing her forward gently.

 

“You’re the one the Queen wants trained.”

 

“You’re the one the Queen trained,” she replies at once and it doesn’t quite earn her a laugh, but at the very least a softened look from the intimidating older man.

 

“I will be trying to teach you to control the wolf but I’ve never had such a task before, so don’t expect the results to be immediate. During the rest of the month you will come here to practice self-defense, as per the Queen’s request.”

 

“Self-defense?”

 

“You won’t always have the moon to help you.” He looks behind her and nods to his son, causing the boy to immediately turn on foot and head back out the door, the locks sliding back into place as he resets them. Red reaches for the string holding her cloak closed but in an instant Jackson is in front of her, his large hand engulfing her own. “Not until my son is gone.”

 

“Of course, I’m sorry.” She watches as he calmly walks back to the center of the room, at his broad shoulders and large frame. He and Abel look similar, but Abel is still slim and shorter than even Red, and he lacks his father’s steely blue eyes. Still, she can imagine that a few growth spurts will leave the quiet, young boy in such a state. “How did you move so quickly?”

 

“You’ll find that your wolf blood will keep you faster and stronger than others,” he glances over, “even when there isn’t a full moon. But not if you’re wearing that.”

 

Red unconsciously runs her fingers over the hem of hood. “I don’t know how to control it yet. The wolf.”

 

“I know. That’s why I’m here.” Red blushes as his exasperated tone. “I don’t know how we should go about this, but my best bet is that we’ll have better luck as the wolf. Just try to keep focus.”

 

That’s the last thing Red remembers as she wakes up the next morning in a room off the great circular one. Her cloak is draped over the side of the bed and there’s noise coming from outside her door. When she opens it she finds Abel and Jackson at a table set up in the middle of the room, a buffet of breakfast items laid out. Red doesn’t hesitate before loading up a plate, feeling not only exhausted and sore but also unbelievably hungry.

 

“Do you remember anything?” Jackson asks after he finishes his own meal. When Red shakes her head, he nods his. “Well, you calmed down eventually. We’ll try again next month. See you here tomorrow morning, we’ll start with some sparring.”

 

“I’m not going to have to fight him, am I?” Red asks as she reaches for one of the brightly colored jams laid out.

 

Abel actually cracks a smile as he slices more ham. “No, I’ll be helping you.”

 

* * *

 

Three months pass and every day is like the one before, but it doesn’t discourage Red. If anything it’s liberating, the more she learns to keep the wolf in check, to the point where they take their lessons to the forest as Jackson begins to trust that she won’t break free and ravage a nearby village. She begins to have little conscious thought as she follows the other wolf through the maze of trees, sometimes stumbling upon a den of others whom they spend the night hunting with.

 

Those long nights are a treat compared to her days spent sparring with the two blondes. Red has never been particularly graceful or coordinated, but she manages to impress Jackson with her patience all the same. Years of hunting have her excelling in long-range tactics but despite her height, speed, and strength, Abel is still able to easily take her out when she gets within a foot of the young boy.

 

She hasn’t seen Regina since their first morning in the kingdom and Abel has yet to deliver any messages from the Queen, but the absence only seems to invigorate Red more. She pushes back every day harder in the hopes of impressing Regina through Abel’s reports to her, which he assures Red she most definitely asks about on a regular basis.

 

Today she’s actually gaining the upper hand on the more battle-ready boy, the impending full moon making her feel like there’s a fire in her stomach fueling her. Red’s actually having _fun_ despite her bruised and battered body, and when Abel charges at her at a full run she actually smiles because it’s easy for her to now sidestep the boy and send him flying down the ground, her forearm bearing down on his chest before he can so much as open his eyes to look up at her.

 

Red knows something’s different because Jackson is usually immediate with his critiques on what has gone wrong for whichever party has lost, but he’s silent and it has her glancing around to ensure he had been watching. His blue eyes are craned upwards toward the balcony overlooking them from the second floor and Red follows his gaze, shocked to find Regina and an older man staring down at them.

 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” is all Regina offers with her warm smile before she turns and walks out of Red’s line of sight, the man following close behind her and their steps echoing through the cavernous space until the sound of a heavy door closing cuts them off.

 

* * *

 

By the end of the summer months Red manages to gain control over the wolf with Jackson’s help. He had remained at her side, keeping her in check as Red became more and more aware of herself when she was her four-legged self until he finally gave her more freedom to take over without his watching. To remind herself of her humanity as the wolf comes out, Red takes to continuously repeating simple things in her head, good and bad, as she races through the forest, not trying to fight the wolf but to keep her own thoughts above her instincts.

 

_My name is Red. My seventeenth name day is in a week’s time. I live with my grandmother. We live near the palace. My parents are dead. I am a werewolf. I have been for almost five years. I killed Peter. The Queen saved me. Regina saved me. Regina trained me. I owe Regina my life. My name is Red. My seventeenth name day is in a week’s time…_

They don’t celebrate per se, but when Red arrives for training one day Jackson congratulates her and tells her that she’ll no longer be his student, though he will happily join her for a run once a month. Abel smiles and nods when she asks for the occasional sparring session, but just as she’s about to inquire if they know what Regina’s plans for her are, the woman appears behind her, seemingly out of nowhere.

 

Red flounders for a moment until Jackson, already on bended knee, grabs her shoulder and pulls her to the ground to kneel before the Queen.

 

“Please, I think the four of us are past such formalities.” Regina, dressed in a rich purple gown with her hair pulled back into an up do, holds her hands out to Red, holding them even after she stands. “I’m so happy for you, Red.”

 

“I’m not sure I know how to begin to express my gratitude to you, your Maj – _Regina_. Really, I’m truly thankful for everything you’ve done.” She goes for it, despite the major lack of propriety it shows and how embarrassing it is, but Red can’t help but to reach forward and hug this woman who’s done so much for her. Regina laughs in her ear in return, smiling brightly when Red pulls away.

 

“Come, let’s go for a walk. I think it’s time you had a tour of the palace, no?”

 

Despite Regina’s need for discretion, Red soon finds herself looking over the balcony and into the courtyard watching the members of the royal court mingle. No one notices them however, and the raven-haired woman’s path to their location had been through a series of twisting hallways. The people below wouldn’t even be able to make them out from where they stood and they all seem too preoccupied to care.

 

“Red, I’d like to confide in you something that I don’t often share.”

 

Red blinks her hazel eyes, tearing hear gaze away from the fine clothes the diplomats below wore. “I’d be honored.”

 

Regina gives her a small smile but her face turns somber as she looks back out at her kingdom, her arm still encircled with Red’s and her free hand resting on the younger girl’s bicep. “I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a long time. Not since before I moved to the palace.”

 

The brunette lets the silence sit for a moment, mostly because the barely constrained tone the Queen had used has her throat tightening. “Abel told me that you didn’t want this marriage. That the King is terrible to you.”

 

“I was in love with someone a long time ago, when I wasn’t much older than you are yourself. Engaged to him. One day I helped a young girl when she was in trouble – saved her life. That girl turned out to be a princess.” Regina’s grip on her arm tightens. “Her father, the King, _rewarded_ me with a marriage proposal and my mother accepted on my behalf when I wouldn’t.”

 

“That’s terrible.” Red reaches up to cover the hand on her arm with her own as she looks back out to watch the King as he stands with a group of advisors.

 

“That’s not even the end,” The Queen replies hollowly. “I knew I couldn’t convince my mother otherwise so I decided to run away with my love. Snow discovered this and despite promising to keep it to herself, she told my mother. Needless to say we didn’t get to leave.”

 

“And your fiancé? What happened to him?”

 

“My mother killed him. She was a very powerful woman and she… she ripped his heart out in front of me and crushed it.” Her mouth purses but her voice remains firm as she continues, “I left that part out when Snow asked, told her that Daniel had just run off. And she _rejoiced_. Because that meant she got a new mother.”

 

Red can’t say anything for a long time as her eyes take in the young girl across the way, black hair braided with vibrant yellow flowers. She’s disgusted as she watches the Princess laugh in a carefree way with the people of the court falling over themselves to join her. Regina must feel her tense because when she continues it’s in a soothing voice.

 

“It’s been… hell, living here all these years. Being married to him and living with her. My father is the only one I can trust. But I’d like that to change.” Red blinks and turns to meet her rich eyes. “Red, all I’m offering is my unwavering friendship and loyalty in the hope that you’ll do the same. If you have any doubts about me then you can say no, you and your grandmother can continue living here if you should choose and, to earn your keep, you can assist Jackson when it is needed.”

 

“No,” Red says immediately shaking her head slightly and swallowing before she looks out at the crowd again. “Regina, there’s nothing I want more than to help you after all you’ve done for me. You’re the kindest woman I know and what these people have done to you… it’s not right.”

 

Regina gives a relieved laugh with her smile, reaching over to embrace the young girl and hold her tightly. “Thank you. It’s… it’s such an amazing weight off my shoulders to know that I have someone I can rely on.” She pulls away, her grin even wider and more beautiful than before. “Now that you’re in control of your gift, we’ll be able to see each other much more.”

 

“I thought you didn’t want anyone to know about me,” Red replies with a bashful laugh as Regina once again leads her through the castle.

 

“I just don’t want them to know of your abilities and our friendship, dear. So all we need is a cover, and I think you’ll be able to help me with the one I have in mind.” Regina grins up at her and squeezes her arm as they descend a deserted staircase. “How would you like to join the royal party on a trip back to your kingdom?”

 

* * *

 

“Red, you cannot leave with her. You don’t know a thing about this woman or what she has planned for you.”

 

Red stares down distastefully at the lemon cake on her plate, no longer wishing to rip into the sweet name day treat Granny always makes for her. She knows she’ll find her appetite later tonight when her grandmother has gone to bed, but for some reason it makes her furious that she’s no longer hungry now because of the foul mood Granny had put her in when Red had excitedly shared the news of her impending trip. She was going to the palace made of _gold_ that she had heard so much about in her land, the great capital that they as far-off villagers were likely never to see, and yet Granny didn't seem to find it something to be happy about.

 

“I know I owe her a debt that I’ll never be able to repay.”

 

“That’s the _point_ , Red,” Granny snaps from the other side of the room where she’s cleaning the plates. “You don’t think she knows that? You don’t think that was her plan all along? You’re putting her on a pedestal and that is _exactly_ what she wants.”

 

“I’m going, Granny.” Red stands from her chair and tries to look defiant, picking up on the sound of Abel’s familiar confident stride approaching in the quiet street outside. “She has done nothing but show me kindness and generosity when I didn’t deserve it, and she’s not asking for anything in return that I don’t want to happily give.”

 

“There is something dark in that woman, Red. _There is._ She’s not what she–”

 

Three sharp raps on the door announce the blonde boy and Red is gone in an instant, leaving him to quickly jog to catch up after she breezes by him.

 

“I hope you’re having a happy name day.”

 

“Yeah, it’s going _really_ well if that wasn’t clear.”

 

“I’m sure adding to my collection of bruises will undoubtedly lift your spirits – my gift to you, by the way.” Jokes from Abel are so rare that Red finds herself smiling despite her sullen mood. He stops her suddenly on one of the few brightly lit intersections on their path, usually a street they sped through, and hands her a small red box. “And the Queen wanted me to give you this. She’s sorry she couldn’t meet with you today to give it to you herself.”

 

She bites her lip to keep the excited smile off her face but can’t help herself from practically snatching the parcel out of his hand. She removes the lid to reveal a gold bangle littered with small diamonds and rubies that form a web of connecting flowers around the bracelet.

 

“Gods.” She glances up as if to make sure this isn’t a joke, her fingers running over the gems. “I don’t think I’ve ever held anything so expensive in my life. This could have fed my village for a year.”

 

“The Queen is very generous,” Abel agrees, his dark green eyes looking black in the shadows as he steps away. “Come, we’ll be late.”

 

* * *

 

“You want me to falsify this girl’s name? Regina, she’s a _villager_. What would it look like if my nobleman’s “daughter” behaved like an uncivilized farmer in front of the Princess?”

 

“She’s not a bumbling simpleton, Abigail,” Regina replies exasperatedly. She and Midas’ daughter seem to get along quite well, and it’s not hard for Red to see why, with their similar temperaments and dry humor. She should probably be offended by what the blonde is saying, but Red knows she has this princess to thank for her release from an angry mob. “Just pick one of the houses from the southern border, hardly anyone keeps track of the mountain folk. Leopold knows he has to start bringing her out to society more, he will accept.”

 

“And how do you know that? You know how protective he is of Snow.”

 

“Because I will plant the seed in her little head and she’ll beg him for the chance to make a new friend her own age. He never denies her a thing.”

 

Abigail sighs and leans back on the chaise lounge, blue eyes moving over to inspect Red far less invasively than they had when Red had first arrived. “Well, she’s pretty at least, that will help make it an easy sell – well-groomed, good posture. Can she hold a conversation? Do hair? What about wait on someone? You look like you’re from a working house.”

 

“I am,” Red says slowly, eyebrows furrowing. “What exactly is all of this about?”

 

“You’re going to become one of Snow’s handmaidens–”

 

“ _Lady-in-waiting_ ,” Abigail stresses. “Honestly, Regina. Don’t fall into those bad eastern habits, it’s heartbreaking.”

 

“You’ll essentially be the King’s ward, but you’ll serve Snow. It’s considered to be a great honor for lesser houses to have their children fostered at a higher ranking house, let alone a king from a neighboring land.”

 

“And why are you helping me… again?” Red asks as she looks over to the blonde.

 

“Because you were, and still _are_ , I suppose, a citizen of my kingdom and I just love to help the needy.”

 

“What she means is that she owes me for introducing her to her beloved.”

 

“And she never lets me forget it.” Abigail rises, the pale violet gown she has on bringing out her golden hair and bright eyes. “I’m less worried about tasks she’ll have to complete than her ability to not slip up. We best give her a backstory she can follow that will pass both my father and your husband’s curiosity. And the name will have to be changed, there’s nothing noble about ‘Red’, is there?”

 

They spend the night plotting the backstory for ‘Ruby’ (“I suppose that will do, though I’m shocked at your lack of creativity, Regina.”), Abigail having chosen some minor lord from the mountains that lined her land’s most southern border. She covers his family’s lineage should she need to explain it, and she and Regina help her with the basic rules of etiquette and common practices of the courts.

 

A few days later she’s walking a step behind Abigail into her castle’s throne room, mimicking the way the blonde holds herself and strides confidently across the floor. Regina is standing near the throne smiling warmly and Red’s so caught up for a moment that she almost walks into Abigail, who stops in front of the young dark-haired girl dressed in blue.

 

“Princess Snow, I’d like to introduce you to Lady Ruby, the daughter of my dear friend Lord Comstock of Crestmore.”

 

She steps out of the way and suddenly Red feels exposed in front of the small group of people in the room, barely remembering to curtsy before the Princess.

 

“Your Majesty,” she breathes, nearly kicking herself for not sounding more enthusiastic.

 

“Ruby.” Snow’s voice is warm and brimming with a sweetness that has Red’s stomach turning. She reaches for Red’s hands, bringing the up to hold them between each other, eyes tinted bright blue by the colors she wore and the sun shining off the gold walls. “Regina has told me so much about you. I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends.”

 

“There’s nothing I could want more,” Red replies with the best smile she can muster, stiffening a little when the shorter girl reaches over to hug her; though she finds a confidence boost in the encouraging, proud grin Regina gives her over her stepdaughter’s shoulder. “This is an honor, truly.”

 

“For me as well. I was hoping you’d spend the day with us, so we could get to know one another better before we depart back to my land. I’m sure you’ll love it there.”

 

“I’m sure I will.”

 

As the day wears on, Red soon finds that this assignment from Regina is going to be much tougher than she expected. Maybe it’s her own bias, but she finds the Princess is impossibly irritating – haughty and naïve all at once, like a child who has yet to learn any lesson life has to give. She speaks of her land and her father, who is off meeting with Abigail’s before they leave, as if they are perfect and untouched by the faintest bit of darkness, even through the political discourse Abigail and Regina discuss. The girl is barely three months younger than Red but she seems more immature, whether due to her upbringing or her own personality, Red can’t tell.

 

She’s thankful Regina and Abigail stay with them as they walk through the gardens because Red feels sure she’s going to slip up at any moment. But the two older women keep the conversation going, sparing Red from the awkward silences continuously brought on by her own disinterest in the person she’s speaking to, as well as the utter lack of ability to lavish endless compliments on shrubbery like royalty can.

 

At some point a gallant man appears walking from the lake and Abigail excuses herself to join her suitor, a handsome, dark-haired knight who she’s informed is named Frederick. Red is wary for a brief moment, but watches as Regina, though with obviously concealed disdain and boredom, slips seamlessly into the role of a doting-but-distant stepparent to the young princess.

 

“You’re too kind to arrange for Ruby to join us at the castle, Regina.”

 

“I know you don’t care for the ladies you have at the court now, dear.” Red glances over Snow’s head to look at Regina, but she remains staring straightforward, shoulders back and hands delicately folded together above her stomach as they walk. “Abigail has gushed about Ruby for so long, I’m sure she’ll make an excellent addition to our kingdom.”

 

“You don’t know how much of a blessing your presence will be. I’ve been going crazy these past few months; I’m desperate for some new faces.” She practically walks with a skip in her step, dark curls shining in the sun. She’s pretty enough, Red can admit that much, but there was still enough to set her firmly in the awkwardness of adolescence – the baby fat that has yet to disappear and the sometimes disjointed way she moves her arms, as if she was still getting used to their reach and weight. Snow’s grown since Red saw her last though, and she can see that another growth spurt will leave the Princess desirable to a T to men from other kingdoms. Not that she holds a torch to Regina. “I can’t wait to show you the gardens. Regina keeps them the envy of all the lands.”

 

The three come to a stop at the end of the trail rather than choosing to follow its turn to take them around the border of the forest, instead looking out at the well kept rolling hills, still lush despite the ever-changing autumn weather. The brunette’s head whips over as she watches Snow reach over to take Regina’s arm, a content smile on her face while Regina stands unmoving in her grasp.

 

“This almost looks like a bigger version of your father’s estate, doesn’t it?”

 

Red bristles at the comment, almost taken aback by the carefree way in which Snow gives the remark, as if it was a happy memory shared between the two members of the royal household. Regina takes it in stride though, voice clear and direct if not a little tight.

 

“Yes, there’s quite a similarity. It’s why I enjoy visiting so often.”

 

“So do father and I.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t dream of leaving the kingdom without your father, dear.” Red can see it then, the veil Regina holds so tightly giving way for a moment as her eyes betray a sliver of rage, staring out at the idyllic scene as if wishing a tornado would rip it away. She thinks she sees Snow’s smile falter for a second, like she too senses the minute shift, but it returns in force when she speaks again.

 

“Regina saved my life, you know,” she says to Red and now that they’re closer the taller girl can see that the eyes she thought were a bright blue are actually a shifting mix of that and green, changing with every deviation of the light. “When I was younger we were travelling near her father’s home and I lost control of my horse. I thought I was going to die but Regina came charging out of nowhere and saved me. It was like a story.”

 

She turns back to give Regina a look of heavy admiration that Regina returns with a strained smile. Before the Princess can continue footsteps coming from behind them grab their attention, and the group turns to find the two Kings approaching. They bow in unison as their arrival and Red ensures to keep her eyes averted.

 

“You must be Ruby. Midas’ daughter has assured me that you will be a wonderful addition to our court.”

 

“It will be an honor, Your Majesty,” Red replies, lifting her gaze but not allowing it to move past his chin.

 

“I’m afraid I haven’t seen your father for many years, I must admit I forgot he even had a daughter your age. I would love for him to visit the court.”

 

Resisting the urge to look to Regina for help, Red wracks her brain for an appropriate reply to Midas, her voice wavering as she stumbles over her words. “With my father’s advanced age it’s needless to say that my birth was a surprise to our house.” It earns her the polite laugh that all politicians seem to adopt and it relieves her enough that she can breathe a little more easily. “He regrets that he isn’t able to see Your Majesty more, but unfortunately his health and the long trip from the mountains keep him from visiting the court more often.”

 

“Of course, I hope you’ll send him my regards.”

 

“I have an excellent feeling about Ruby, father. I just know we’ll be lifelong friends.” Snow sends her a brilliant smile that Red manages to return.

 

“As long as you’re happy, dear Snow, I am happy.” Leopold reaches over to cradle his daughter’s jaw in his hands, smiling fondly. “Midas, is it only a father’s prerogative that has me believing my daughter is the most beautiful woman in all the lands?”

 

Abigail’s father looks at his counterpart critically but gives a friendly grin nonetheless. “I feel much the same about both my wife and Abigail. I’m a blessed man.”

 

“Yes, we both are. Daughters are the greatest gift that could be given.” Leopold smiles jovially, but Red can tell the other members of the party most definitely pick up on the snub to his queen, though it seems unintentional. Still, she can’t help but admire the discreet look Midas sends Regina, even if she’s staring blankly past her husband’s shoulder and doesn’t return it. “Come, Snow, Midas insists that I at least do his nephew and cousins the courtesy of presenting you to them.”

 

Snow laughs and nods, stepping away from her father’s grasp to turn to Red. “Will you join me?”

 

“Ruby should ensure that she’s ready for the long trip tomorrow,” Regina begins, glancing back out to the path that leads into the forest, “and I would like to continue my walk. If she would be so kind to join me, I’d love to get to know Ruby better.”

 

“Of course. She’ll ride back with us in the carriage though, won’t she?” Regina nods as she meets Snow’s eyes again and Snow’s smile brightens in response before she reaches to squeeze Red’s hand once again. “Then I shall see you tomorrow, Ruby Comstock of Crestmore.”

 

The two parties go their separate ways, Snow and the Kings heading back towards the castle. Regina and Red walk in silence until the reach the tree-lined path that hides them from view, the branches forming a canopy over them and the sun coming in dappled bursts through the leaves.

 

“I can’t do this, Regina.”

 

“Of course you can, Red.”

 

“She’s the silliest person I’ve ever met. How do you put up with her all day?” Regina gives a small laugh, but Red continues to stress her point, “She’s vapid and annoying a-a-and selfish. _‘Doesn’t this look like the place where we took your life from you, stepmother?’_ You must have the patience of a saint.”

 

“It’s not easy,” Regina admits, the pale pink dress she wears making her tan skin glow even on their shaded path. “Sometimes I think I can trick myself into believing I could see her as my daughter.”

 

“And then?”

 

“And then her father exercises his marital rights as my husband and I remember that she’s the reason I have to endure it.” Regina speaks in a droll, matter-of-fact voice but Red thinks she finds that sadder than she would if the Queen had broken down crying during the confession.

 

“I don’t know how I can help, Regina,” Red admits, pulling the shorter woman to a halt so she can face her, her own expression lost and helpless.

 

“You’re helping me now, Red, just by being here. And you can help me with Snow. Stay close with her, get her to trust and confide in you so I can feel safe in my own home. I’ll be setting things in motion soon enough.”

 

“And then you’ll be free?”

 

“Yes,” Regina smiles and reaches up to touch Red’s cheek. “Then I will be free. And I’ll have my loyal friends at my side when I am.”

 

“What’s going to become of them? Snow and her father?”

 

Regina’s hand drops to hold both of Red’s, squeezing gently before running her thumbs over the younger girl’s knuckles. “I don’t know yet. But… I expect it may be messy.”

 

“And what will my role be?” she asks despite being terrified of the answer. Red doesn’t remember Peter’s death, but that doesn’t stop her mind from recreating it a hundred times over in nightmares. She hates the King. She hates Snow. But her conscience is already heavy. “Is that why you trained me? To kill them?”

 

“Red, no,” Regina insists as she stares imploringly at her. “I had you trained so you could feel more secure in this environment, so you could live a normal life without fear of what you could do as the wolf.” Her eyes leave Red’s for a moment to look over her shoulder into the forest. Red thinks she sees her nod before Regina takes her arm again, leading them slowly down the path once more. “I promise you that you will always have a say in what I ask you to do, Red. And regicide seems like quite a bit for even a queen to ask of someone.”

 

They walk in silence together for a few more moments as the path opens into a crossroad, a large lake appearing at the end of the trail they’re on now. Regina stops them in the center, opening her mouth to speak once more only to close it and furrow her eyebrows as she glances in the direction of fast-moving steps approaching them.

 

“Kane?” Red looks over to the man walking towards them from the East, recognizing him as King Leopold’s steward, only noticing the dagger in his hand when he’s less than a foot away. “What in the world–”

 

Before Red can react, he roughly shoves Regina to the ground, his eyes focused in on the other girl with violent intent. She tries to step away, but the middle-aged man has a hand wrapped around her throat, gaze full of hate but oddly blank and manic at the same time.

 

“Wolf,” he says monotonously, the knife in his hand rising to hover over Red’s stomach. “ _Freak_.”

 

Despite his hold on her throat, it proves to be weirdly easy to throw him off her, sending the dagger flying. She scrambles to reach it before he gets to his feet again, sending a wild look to Regina who’s only just pulling herself up from the ground. Kane shows himself to be quicker, however, once again briskly walking towards the shapeshifter with the same set stare. Red holds the knife out, months of training leaving her brain in an instant.

 

“Red, don’t–” She _doesn’t_ , she really doesn’t. At least she doesn’t think she does. It all happens in an instant, the man all but walks into the blade and before she can blink there’s blood on her hands and Kane is staring lifelessly at her before collapsing on the path. She falls to her knees near the man as Regina rushes to her side, pulling her away from the body.

 

“Don’t get any more blood on you.” At Regina’s arrival Red allows her bloodstained, shaking hands to be wiped on the man’s cloak, unable to take her gaze away from the dagger sticking out of her attacker’s abdomen.

 

“He was coming at me,” Red insists as if it were an accusation Regina was throwing at her rather than a practical command. “He was going to kill me.” Regina doesn’t respond, just continues to rid any evidence from Red with clear intent and her silence nearly drives the girl to hysterics. “Regina, we have to tell someone, we-we-we have to tell them that he came after me–”

 

“And who would believe that? The word of young girl from a lowly house in another kingdom isn’t likely to hold up against the King’s longtime advisor and friend.” Red can’t stop the sob that leaves her throat, her stomach twisting and turning as the forest around her seems to spin. Upon hearing the noise Regina drops Red’s hands and holds her cheeks, forcing Red’s watery hazel eyes to hold her gaze. “If they find out you did this–”

 

“It was self-defense! He was in some… some kind of _trance_. You saw him! He was going–”

 

“All they will see is a loyal subject who was butchered by an unheard of girl from Midas' kingdom.” _Butchered_. The word bounces around her head and she has to close her eyes because the view of the corpse in her peripherals is making her sick. “If they know that you are at all involved with this, they will start digging, Red. They will find not only that you lied about your name and your rank, but that Abigail and I aided you in doing so. They will take you back to my kingdom for a trial and they will find out who you really are – _what_ you really are, and they will not believe the word of a person who can turn into a vicious beast.”

 

“I _killed him_ ,” she whispers out loud, more to herself than Regina. _Butchered. Vicious._ She sobs again, this time accompanying it with the tears that are blurring her vision. “Oh, Gods, Regina what have I done? How did he know about the wolf?”

 

“I don’t know.” Regina is as calm as she’s ever appeared, her thumbs brushing the tears away from her cheeks. She leans over and presses a kiss to Red’s forehead and when she pulls back once again, her rich eyes warm and comforting, Red immediately feels the shaking subside. “But we have to hope no one else does and deal with this for now.”

 

“I c-can’t,” Red stutters through a shuddering breath. The thought of touching Kane again now that he’s lifeless seems like an impossible thing for her to command herself to do. She had seen him with his _children_ running around the town square only two weeks ago and now he was dead by her hand.

 

“Okay. It’s okay. You have nothing to worry about, Red, not while I’m here. I’ll help you.” Regina straightens and stands, pulling Red up with her, glancing around them before she urgently continues, “You need to go and find Abel – he should be at the stables checking the horses for tomorrow’s journey. Tell him where to meet me and then go to the castle. Make sure that people see you. Can you do that?”

 

Red nods and reaches up to try to smooth out the front of her dress, checking to ensure that no stray drops from the attack have marred her dress. She wishes she had her hood with her, missing the protective extra layer she could use to hide away from the world. She has Regina though, standing like a pillar of serenity in a mess of chaos.

 

“I’ll send for you tonight, Red. These next few hours will be hard, but you have to hold your head high and move on – just like you did with Peter.” _Butchered. Vicious. Just like you did with **Peter.**_ “You made a terrible mistake and it cost someone their life, but you’re still here and you _will_ move on and I will help you, Red. Just as you’re helping me.”

 

Red nods but a strangled noise escapes her throat as the gratitude she feels towards this woman builds. This beautiful, kind, loving, tortured woman who was picking Red up after a terrible time in her life just as she had done for herself only a few years ago when her own future spiraled out of her control. She wants to thank her, wants to do so much more if she’s honest with herself, but instead Red just briskly walks away and follows her orders, running behind the long row of stables so as not to be seen until she spots Abel grooming the King’s horse.

 

She strides back into the castle, a golden palace that has managed to seem elegant rather than gaudy which is something she still marvels at, walking seamlessly and unnoticed amongst the crowds. She realizes something with startling clarity: it has only been fifteen minutes since she was being greeted by the two Kings on the garden path with Regina and Snow. In that time she has not only killed someone, she’s increased the looming imbalance in her relationship with Regina. Another tragedy averted because the Queen has bestowed her loyalty to Red.

 

It’s shockingly easy for Red to slip into Ruby’s character, her cloak for the moment, especially her own constant reminder that Regina has done so much for her and promises to do more. So it’s Ruby who laughs easily with Abigail’s handmaidens, who ignores the advances of leering knights and noblemen, and who acts as if nothing is amiss when Regina returns to the throne room, Abel following closely behind in a different doublet than he had been wearing earlier.

 

The food is brought into the throne room for their final feast and Red finds herself seated in the middle of the large golden table, but from where’s sitting next to Abel she can’t see Regina that well at the great table set before the throne. Only Snow sitting on the end is in her direct line of sight. Red watches her with interest as Abel is a less than chatty meal companion and she wants desperately to distract herself from thoughts of that afternoon.

 

_Butchered. Vicious. Just like you did with Peter._

 

She shakes her head of her own sadness only to realize that the Princess doesn’t look all-too-pleased herself, nursing a cup of the sweet wine that the servers are passing around, though clearly far less liberally than her stepmother seemed to be drinking judging by the constant need for the servers to stop by and fill it up. _And what do you have to be sad about?_ Red wonders as she stares at the girl, who clearly forces a smile whenever addressed. _What could possibly be so wrong in your life?_

Throughout the evening Red can pick up on idle chat about Leopold’s steward that turns into a full-fledged search party by the time the moon is high – apparently Kane hasn’t been seen since early that morning. She’s standing in her small closet of a guest room looking out at the Kings who are dividing the party of men and discussing what routes to take when someone knocks at her door, and for a fleeting moment her heart jumps in her throat.

 

“It’s me,” Abel’s voice comes from the hall.

 

“I thought you’d be with the party,” Red says as she opens the door and follows him through the dark passages of the guests’ quarters.

 

“The King commanded me to attend to the Queen and the Princess.”

 

“Where…” She can’t bring herself to finish, her mouth going dry. Abel seems to pick up on what she means with a glance, however.

 

“The lake.”

 

Red doesn’t say anything for a minute and the only sounds she can hear as they climb one of the spiraling staircases to the upper floor are their echoing footsteps. The castle is silent and the halls empty save for the stationary guards every once in awhile.

 

“Do you… have to do stuff like this often?”

 

Abel shakes his head, his voice neutral as ever as he responds. “No, not often. I’m training to be a knight, however, so it’s not bad to become accustomed to such situations.”

 

“Does it… does it get easier?” Red asks as they near the Queen’s room.

 

“Yes,” he concedes in what she assumes is supposed to be a comforting way, but it only makes her stomach turn. “More quickly than you might think.”

 

He knocks and opens the door upon Regina’s command to enter, closing it behind Red and leaving the two women in the room. Regina has already prepared for bed, standing at one of the large windows that looks out to the expansive fields, her long hair pulled over one shoulder. Red doesn’t know if she’ll ever get over the sight of Regina dressed in blinding whites and sheer ivories, the stark colors making her dark features pop as if she were glowing.

 

She turns to face the brunette as Abel leaves, not hesitating before stepping forward to embrace the girl – a hug that Red immediately finds herself melting into. Regina’s so small, fitting so neatly in Red’s enveloping arms it’s as if she were meant to be there holding Red up. She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until Regina’s whispering soothing things in her ear.

 

“What if they find him?”

 

“They won’t. At least not while we’re here. The King will leave a retainer if he’s not found tonight, but we’ll be long gone by the time they search the lake.” Regina pulls back until she can meet Red’s eyes again. “I’ll keep you safe, Red.”

 

Red nods and her hands drop from Regina’s down to her hips. “I know. I know you will, Regina. I just…” She shakes her head when she can’t finish her sentence, trying to calm her shuddering breaths.

 

Regina gives her a comforting smile and steps back, only to take Red’s hand and lead her to the large bed in the center of the room so they can sit on the end of it, her hand sliding up to rub soothing circles on the middle of Red’s back. “How are you feeling?”

 

“The same as I did after Peter. I keep thinking over and over again, “How can you even live with yourself after what you’ve done?” But then… I just do. And that makes me feel worse.”

 

“It’s the mindset of a survivor, Red, nothing more. Believe me, I’ve felt the same way on many nights in the last five years.” She takes Red’s hands into her own, shadows dancing across her face as the fire across the room throws its light around. “Please believe me when I say that I need you to pull through this. I’m not sure I can continue to face all of this alone anymore and I don’t want you to have to do the same.”

 

It’s tragic how beautiful Regina looks as she pleads her case, hands grasping Red’s like they are giving her life. All Red wants to do is reassure Regina that she won’t ever leave her side, not after all this she has done for her, but her voice escapes her after a day of trauma that this beautiful woman has seen her through. Instead she removes a hand from their joined grasp, reaching up to hold Regina’s cheek and pull her closer, pressing a slow, reverent kiss to her pale red lips.

 

“I’m sorry,” she breathes when she pulls away, her own lips tingling at the brief memory of Regina’s automatic response to her kiss, though she certainly didn’t _return_ it. For once the raven-haired woman actually looks surprised, still processing what happened when Red stands from the bed. “Gods, I’m sorry. I didn’t – I wasn’t thinking and I just… I-I’m sorry–”

 

“Red.” Regina immediately rises to follow her as Red turns to leave, grabbing her wrist to stop her so she can step in front of the girl. She meets Red’s gaze with an unreadable expression before she drops it, giving a humorless laugh as she seems to struggle to find her words. “It’s just… it’s been a very long time since anyone has kissed me like that.”

 

She takes it as an invitation to do it again, far less chastely than she had before and Regina responds immediately. For the first time since she’s met her, the Queen is less-than-composed, her kisses both needy and aggressive as she holds Red close to the point where her delicate hands leave bruises on the brunette’s forearms. Red can’t imagine she fares much better, her own fingers tangling in Regina’s dark hair while she tries to control the desperate, pathetic sounds that are escaping her throat.

 

The ride back to the palace is long and sullen due to the search party’s inconclusive findings before they left Midas’ kingdom, though Red finds herself protected not only from the long journey but also the atmosphere while she rides in the carriage next to Snow, who thankfully picks up on the fact that Red is more than reluctant to talk about herself and stops prying, only occasionally starting up a conversation for the other girls to comment on.

 

“I _adore_ your bracelet, Ruby,” Snow gushes late in the afternoon on the second day of their trip, startling Red who is trying to remain calm as they reach the familiar woods close to her village near the border of the two kingdoms. It had been so terrifying on their journey up that Abel had snuck her away from the main party to take her through the forest rather than the trek through her former home. The Princess reaches over in the seat to dance her fingers along the stones set in the gold band and Red manages to belatedly thank her. Across from her on the other bench Regina catches her eye as she sits primly, smiling that lovely, small smile of hers.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [thegirl20](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20).

The winter months are brutally cold, but thankfully short with the flowers blooming so early in the year Snow insists it must be a record. The time had been more exhausting than Red would like to admit, considering she's given up a lifestyle of hard work for that of one in court, where her days are spent meeting with dignitaries and languishing with the young Princess. Red had assumed that since she lived not three halls away from the Queen's chambers that she would now be seeing her more, and while she does see her in formal settings, it's generally with at least one other thorn in her paw. Sometimes the brunette thinks she catches herself actually enjoying her time with Snow, who has begun to single out Ruby as her most favourite of companions. But it only takes an instant for Red to find herself firmly in square one with the girl again.

 

"Have you ever had a beau, Ruby?" Snow asks as they sit in the unusually warm sun, playing chess in the garden. This game infuriates Red to no end but she desperately wants to learn it because she often sees Regina and her father playing on this very board. Snow, for what it's worth, is an incredibly patient teacher.

 

"Hm?" Red asks distractedly as she reaches for her rook, only to rethink the move. She hates leaving her queen defenseless but she's running out of options. Rather than make a real move she stalls by placing one of her black pawns on the square ahead.

 

"I can't imagine you were want for admirers, you're gorgeous." Turn over for the moment, Red can lift her eyes and actually focus on what the other girl is saying, critical of the small flush on her cheeks.

 

"There was a boy I thought I was going to spend my life with but he… he was in an accident."

 

"I'm so sorry, I can't imagine." She does look genuinely distraught but all Red can think is how happy Regina had said Snow was when she had found out that Daniel was no longer in the picture. She drops her gaze in return to hide her disgust, attempting to refocus on the game after Snow has put one of her bishops in a compromising position.

 

"Could I confide something in you, Red? It's about the Queen and… I've never spoken of it before, but I feel as if I can trust you."

 

Her first instinct is to snap at the girl for even thinking of gossiping about the Queen, but she remembers that it's the whole reason she's here, to learn any and all of Snow's secrets if she can. To placate and assure the girl that her stepmother was as happy as can be. She meets Snow's blue-green eyes and nods across the board, momentarily forgetting about her crumbling offensive line.

 

"Sometimes I feel as if the Queen… as if she hates me."

 

"She seems to be kind and generous," Red offers belatedly.

 

"She is," Snow insists in a way that makes it seem like she feels guilty for starting the conversation at all. "Regina… I owe her my life. And I try so hard to get close to her, but she won't let me. I know she doesn't love my father, but I always thought I could try to make her love me."

 

Red tries to match her look of despair with as much sympathy as she can muster. "Why wouldn't she love your father? Or you?"

 

The Princess opens her mouth but closes it again promptly, shaking her head as if to do away with the thoughts inside. "It all sounds silly when I say it out loud."

 

Red feels like she should pry more, given that this is one of their few opportunities alone without Snow's usual flock of other handmaidens, but there's something about Snow's too-desperate smile that has her feeling something along the lines of pity for whatever reason. She tries to compose herself, lightening her tone and reaching over to do away with one of Snow's pawns.

 

"I'm surprised your father hasn't made you a match."

 

Snow's smile turns more genuine at Red's change of subject, though her eyes are scrutinizing the board. "He likes to show me off to those who are desperate for his favour, but sometimes I think he wishes to keep me here all to himself. Not that I mind."

 

"Certainly better than being married off against your will," Red agrees flippantly, causing Snow's hand to still over her queen. She looks up at Red, who keeps her eyes diverted for fear they'll betray her, and smiles tightly.

 

"That would be a terrible fate," she agrees, choosing instead to play her knight.

 

* * *

 

Red actually _does_ sympathize with the girl when she also has to be in the presence of her other ladies in the court, two girls who babble incessantly and lavish endless compliments on the Princess which she half-heartedly accepts as the day wears on. Neither of the girls are particularly fond of Red, nor Snow's immediate attachment to her, with Delilah, the redhead with brown eyes, constantly sending her dirty looks or commenting snidely on Red's fumbles and mistakes.

 

She's returning Snow's tray of barely touched food to the kitchens when the redhead catches sight of her and hurries to fall in-step with Red.

 

"I know your little secret," she whispers and it takes everything in Red for her to not drop the food on the ground and keep her pace up.

 

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

 

"I know for a fact that you're a liar. The woodworker's apprentice lives very close to a certain residence occupied in the city limits. One that a pretty dark-haired girl with a red cloak used to live in with an old woman."

 

"And why would _you_ be talking to a woodworker's apprentice?" Red asks with the best façade she can put on, her voice dripping with what she hopes sounds like indifference.

 

Delilah bristles at the accusation, though her attempt at outrage is thwarted by the flush in the cheeks. "You're a common girl posing as noble blood. The King will have your head."

 

"The King doesn't deal in such mundane affairs as listening to a lady-in-waiting tell false tales." Red sets the tray down on a table in the bustling kitchen and promptly turns on foot to travel back up to the living quarters, leaving the redhead to scramble to keep up with Red's long legs.

 

"Well, the Queen will certainly be interested," she insists as they climb the staircase to the top floor of the palace. "I know it was you, _Ruby_. He saw you with us one day in the market and when we met next he told me that you've lived in the village for a year now before you disappeared. Guess I know where you wound up."

 

She's so impossibly haughty that Red finds herself fed up with over-privileged brats for the day, so she stops abruptly and turns to the redhead, despite her want to just brush this off as something unimportant.

 

"Well, I suppose you feel obligated to take this story to her then. Come along."

 

The older girl makes some sputtering sound as Red starts on the path to the Queen's chambers, hustling to keep up with her ostentatious dress. "Don't think I won't tell her. I _will_."

 

"As you should if you believe it to be true." Red is nearing the door to Regina's room but slows upon the odd sound that comes from her room down the hall. A weird, mischievous laugh – more of a giggle really, and it certainly wasn't Regina's. Red's never heard it before, or the lilting voice that accompanies it. When she knocks on the door it disappears upon Regina's command to enter.

 

She's standing alone when they come through the door, dressed in yellow with her dark hair piled high on her head. Regina smiles when she spots Red but it disappears when Delilah ambles in behind her.

 

Red curtsies before speaking. "Your Majesty, Delilah wishes to report something to you."

 

Regina doesn't respond, just raises an eyebrow and looks at the redhead expectantly until she eventually finds her voice. "Your Majesty, I'm afraid I have troubling news to report. This girl isn't who she seems – she is from the very village inside, not a girl of noble blood from Midas' kingdom."

 

Regina looks at each girl critically before she turns to look out the window. "Princess Abigail vouched for Ruby herself, brought her to her castle to present her to Snow and her father. Are you implying that Princess Abigail is a liar?"

 

"No, of course–"

 

"Or perhaps you just think I'm an idiot, as I am in charge of the King's wards."

 

" _No_ , I wouldn't ever–"

 

"Surely you must have proof then?"

 

The young girl looks like she's about to pass out under the Queen's questions, glancing around as if she was expecting an ally to appear out of nowhere and save her. "The woodworker's apprentice has sworn he's seen this girl before, living in the village on the edge of the kingdom with an older woman."

 

"So I'm to trust the woodworker's apprentice who's sleeping with my stepdaughter's handmaiden over my close friend and princess who's to inherit the midlands?" When it's clear that Delilah has no response, Regina continues, "Leave now. This insolence will not be tolerated."

 

She leaves in a hurry, the heavy doors closing behind her allowing Red to relax her stance.

 

"Did you give anything away?"

 

Red shakes her head. "No. But I feel like this isn't the last time she'll bring it up. She has it out for me because she's unbearable and even Snow can't put up with her."

 

Regina steps up to her, nodding slowly. "I'll deal with her."

 

"What about the apprentice?" Red asks nervously as she leans into the hand Regina places on her cheek. Regina stares at her for a moment before dropping her hand to rest it on Red's shoulder.

 

"Seek him out the next night Snow gives you an early leave. Deal with him however you see fit." Her fingers dance over to tap against Red's pulse. "Do you have to go?"

 

"Her Royal Highness has requested I sit with her this evening. At least she's in the middle of a book so it'll be a quiet night." Regina smiles as Red's hands come up to her hips and her forehead drops against the shorter woman's. "She won't notice me for a few more moments."

 

"Good." The Queen hums and brings her other hand up to rest opposite her first, thumbs brushing along Red's collarbone. She looks at Red with such fondness now that it makes her feel as if she's walking on air. "I've missed you these last few days. Seeing you with her certainly doesn't count."

 

"It certainly does not," Red agrees after the warm kiss she receives.

 

"Is it getting easier? Being around her?"

 

"Barely."

 

Regina laughs quietly against her lips and bestows them with another sweet kiss. "Has she said anything interesting?"

 

"Mm." Red doesn't allow her to pull away so easily and Regina doesn't resist – _never_ resists. And nothing has ever made Red feel more powerful. Eventually she gives Regina the answer to her question, though her words come out between kisses she places along the other woman's jaw. "She says she knows you don't love her or her father, like that's any news."

 

"What?" Regina pulls away from Red's searching lips and holds her gaze. "What did she say exactly?" When Red tells her about their brief conversation Regina listens intently, stepping away once again. "This isn't good, Red."

 

"She said it sounded silly to herself when she spoke it."

 

"But she _doubts_ me, Red. So much so that she felt the need to share it. It means she knows something's wrong. Or that something could be wrong." Regina taps her fingertips against her lips, looking back out the window.

 

"I'll talk to her, keep her happy. Alright?" She reaches for the raven-haired woman again, grabbing her hand to press her lips against her knuckles. "How much longer do we have to put up with this?"

 

"Not much. I just have to wait for the right time."

 

"You still haven't told me what you'll do."

 

Regina gives an amused look. "I'm still not sure myself. You should go now, she'll be missing you." She allows one more kiss before Red walks away, making it to the door before Regina calls out quietly. "Oh, and Red? Don't forget about that apprentice boy. With Abel training, it'll be up to you to sort this out."

 

* * *

 

When Snow gives her the night off she goes to see Granny for another cold evening of family bonding. Granny makes no secret about her disapproval of Red's rise in station, and under a false name no less, which is apparently the most offensive of her crimes, though she can't help but wonder what difference the shade of red made. But she's stopped bringing it up at least, so Red has the night to think about what she's going to do.

 

She knows the woodworker's boy by his appearance, had seen him hauling lumber to the shop down the street every once in awhile and occasionally walking home at nights as she was leaving for her sessions with Abel and Jackson. She knows what she has to do about him, and for some reason it doesn't bother her. And that is what's giving her pause at the moment – her total lack of anxiety or disgust with what was expected of her.

 

Red likes to think she's just come to accept that death was a part of life, especially in political intrigue. She isn't stupid; she knows what is going to happen to Delilah, that the pretty handmaiden's body would undoubtedly show up somewhere unsuspicious within the week. Like Abel, she accepts that this is a part of her life now. Or maybe it's just the absence of any sort of connection to this man, her bond with Regina, or her desperate need to see this through to save herself and her grandmother. Or maybe all three.

 

Doing it herself however, actually plotting and planning it, should be harder than this is. She stands at the corner, hidden in the shadows for a long time until she hears the raucous laughter of a group of young men. Red watches them all break away from the group, heading to their individual homes, and that's when she begins to follow him. Knowing your prey was half the battle and she knew hers; short but stocky with muscles derived from years of manual labour and drunk to the point where he's stumbling along the cobblestone streets.

 

She should at least give him a chance. "Excuse me." He jumps and spins around on unsteady legs visibly calming when he only sees a pretty, unarmed girl in shining jewellery. "You're the woodworker's apprentice, aren't you?"

 

"I am, I am. And who are…" He steps closer, all shadows in the minimal lighting, but she can see his smile despite it. "You're the girl who used to live down the street. Handmaiden now, aren't you? How'd you manage to swing that?" Red doesn't speak as he looms closer, listening for any sounds that would warn her to someone listening in on their conversation or approaching their location. His breath reeks of drink but she doesn't pull away as he steps up to her. "Delilah says she knew there was something off about you. I guess I could be a gentleman and let you pay me off."

 

"Oh?"

 

He cracks a smile and reaches for her wrist, inspecting the gold bangle before dropping her hand once more and looking over her body critically. "Well that trinket wouldn't hurt. But I'm sure you could be a little more creative."

 

The sound his neck makes when it snaps echoes through the alley before her footsteps do, leaving her to clench and unclench her hands as she walks back to the castle. She can still feel the scratchy hairs of his unshaven jaw pressing into her palms; hear the confused start of the word he never got to finish. But Red doesn't feel a thing as she returns to her bed at the castle that night – she falls into a soundless sleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

 

* * *

 

The royal party barely has time to be announced before Abigail pushes past the guards into the courtyard. The blonde looks as distraught as Red has ever seen her, but remains emotionally contained and cool as she approaches the King and Queen, the relatively small party of guests around them kneeling at her entrance, though she pays them no mind.

 

"Abigail, I must say, this is quite a surprise," Leopold begins jovially, the crown on his head impossibly bright in the early spring sun. "You are, of course, always a welcomed guest."

 

"Your generosity is too much, Your Majesty," Abigail replies brusquely, and Red can see from her spot at Snow's side a few feet away that the blonde is pale and clearly shaken. "I hope not to impose too long, I just wanted to see my dear friend Regina as promptly as I could."

 

Red watches as the King excuses himself and the two women begin walking towards the gardens, arms linked and their conversation clearly on hold until they pass the many ears surrounding them. She turns to Snow, who looks back after tearing her own eyes away from the retreating form.

 

"You were quite close with Abigail, weren't you?" Snow asks and Red nods immediately. Lying has come to her far more easily than she ever could have imagined and it was starting to make her wary of so many people around her. The Princess, however, seems to be an open book. "You should go after her and ask her what's wrong, I'm sure she'd love to see another familiar face."

 

Despite being somewhat self-absorbed and impossibly impervious to the true horrors in the world, Snow is, at the very least, compassionate. Red reaches over to squeeze her arm, legitimately thankful to the younger girl for the idea. In return she receives an earnest smile that would be cute if this Princess weren't the bane of her Queen's existence. She's fast walking through the small crowd, only mildly aware of the eligible bachelors who are getting their first look at the Princess's newest handmaiden – a pretty girl from a family no one's ever heard of from a kingdom whose greatest resource had little to do with the bloodlines outside of the royalty that reigned over them.

 

Red walks gracefully until large hedges hid her from view and she finds her long legs speeding her through the garden as she tries to distinguish the scent of Regina from the overwhelming scent of the flowers. How she hates walking through the gardens. She finds them though, easily enough hidden away amongst the tulips. The young girl holds back, staying behind a corner rather than interrupt the women talking, but allowing herself to peek a look at their faces; Abigail's flushed and distraught, Regina's composed but sympathetic.

 

"Regina, there must be _something_ you can do."

 

Red falls back to her hiding spot when Abigail spins suddenly to face the Queen, feeling uneasy about spying on Regina. Which she wasn't – she was just waiting for the right time to approach. Perhaps. The Queen takes her time with her reply; Red can't hear a thing from either woman for so long that she almost thinks they've disappeared, but in time she hears Regina's whispered reply.

 

"There's nothing–"

 

"How can you know that?" Abigail's harsh voice comes back viciously. "What good is that magic if you're going to do nothing with it? He's a statue, Regina. You're the only one I know–"

 

"There is nothing I can do, Abigail." Regina's tone matches the Princess' in iciness and clarity. "As you know damn well."

 

Someone lets out a breath (presumably Abigail), and Red dares to peak around the corner. Both women are still stone-faced, though she can spot a flush creeping up the visiting monarch's neck. She thinks Abigail might actually be on the verge of tears but in an instant, pale blue eyes have snapped up and met her gaze and the blonde squares her shoulders at the sight of Red.

 

"It seems your pup found your scent, Regina." It's Red's turn to flush, especially when Regina doesn't immediately smile and welcome Red over. If anything, she looks a little annoyed to see her there and the mood has the shapeshifter's stomach turning. Abigail seems less slighted, however, sighing impatiently and waving her over. "Well, don't just stand there all day, _Ruby_. I suppose I should check in on the imposter charge I sent here."

 

"I didn't mean to–"

 

"Spy?" Regina interjects.

 

"Get caught," Abigail offers.

 

"…Either."

 

"I suppose I'll leave you to your catching up then." The raven-haired woman dressed in lavender smoothes out her dress and turns to Abigail again. "He'll be missing me today. If you want to skip the festivities this afternoon, Leopold will surely understand, but I expect you'll be wanted at dinner after such a dramatic entrance. We'll talk later, Abigail. I'll… I will try my best to find a solution."

 

Regina breezes past Red without so much as a second glance and the cold shoulder has her feeling like an arrow is lodged in her chest. She wants to reach out and stop her, but Abigail's presence stops her. How much has she told the other woman? Surely not enough to implicate anything inappropriate between them. Well, more inappropriate than a few murders and a coup d'état.

 

"Don't mind her, dear, she's under a great deal of stress," the blonde says diplomatically after a shuddering breath, any semblance of her previous state gone before the words she spoke. Red wonders if she would ever be so good at this game – able to put one a stoic face after a near tragedy. It strikes her, when Abigail approaches and takes her arm, that she's already done this. Over and over again. Abigail just makes it seem more regal.

 

"Regina… has magic?" Red asks slowly as the blonde leads them slowly back to the party.

 

"Regina is very powerful, though I suppose she doesn't want people to know just to what extent. Her mother was quite powerful as well."

 

"And her father?"

 

"Henry is about as useless as nipples on a breastplate, unfortunately. He's sweet though, Regina loves him dearly. What of your father, Lady Comstock?"

 

Red blanks at the sound of her fake name. "My father's health is failing him, but I doubt he will be leaving us any time soon. The mountain air keeps him as spry as can be."

 

In the corner of her eye she sees Abigail give a faint smile, one that seems joyless but still genuine as they find themselves once again surrounded by strangers. "Good girl," she murmurs at the false answer.

 

* * *

 

"What do you mean they haven't returned yet?" Snow asks, her face an angry red that the werewolf has never seen before. For all her haughtiness and selfishness, she is, Red will admit promptly, a generally well-tempered young Princess. Red glances around at Snow's other handmaidens, Delilah's replacement looking particularly taken aback at the outburst as they remained lounging on the comfortable seats in the solarium. "They _promised_ me they would be here for the summer solstice."

 

"Snow, I am sure they've done everything you can, you know how much your father was looking forward to this party, but it's up to you now, dear, to be a true princess and welcome the lords and ladies of this–"

 

Before Johanna can finish, Snow is storming away from the room, leaving the four women staring after her. Red can feel their eyes shift to her as she listens to the echoing footsteps and Anna, Delilah's replacement and the only one Red can find remotely bearable (possibly due to her lack of interest in _speaking_ ), looks at her imploringly with wide, violet eyes and she already knows she's lost this battle.

 

"Lady Ruby," Johanna begins, glancing at the other girls before giving a defeated shrug as she seemed to struggle to find the words she wanted. "If… if it wouldn't be a bother… I don't think she'll want to talk to anyone else, you know. And there's nothing to be done about the King and Queen's return, the rivers are uncrossable, there's just–"

 

"It's fine, Johanna," Red replies as she rises from her seat, smoothing out the front of her dress as she tries to keep the look of frustration off her face. "It is why I'm here, after all."

 

She doesn't mind that much, really, being Snow's go-to friend, and not just because it _is_ the reason she's in the castle at all. What really frustrates Red, what _really_ is starting to bother her is that very fact. That she's not bothered by Snow anymore. She actually kind of doesn't completely hate her and that terrifies the shapeshifter, the nagging realization that she might _like_ Snow a little, despite all she knows about the girl, all the selfish and annoying traits that are on display as the future ruler of the kingdom runs about the palace as if she didn't have a care in the world.

 

Even after all of Red's best efforts to villainize the girl as Regina does, the many days they've spent together has had a horrible, humanizing effect on the Princess. The future queen wasn't as terrible as the first grating impression Red caught of her – she was just a girl. A silly girl sometimes, yes, but no worse than any other teenage female she had met. Worse in some categories, better than most in many.

 

"Snow," Red said in a lilting voice as she came to the heavy oak door that guarded the Princess' room. "It's me. Re… Ruby." She can hear her in there; hear the sniffling, the shuddering breaths Snow takes, the elevated heart rate that appeared at Red's voice, her silent shuffling footsteps. The door opens with a great groan that echoes down the hallway. The Princess is pink-cheeked and red-eyed, but she lets Red in without a word.

 

There's a few moments of silence as Red walks in, standing at the center of the room as the Princess stays back, leaning against the once more closed door and looking at the ground. Her chamber is impeccably clean save for her bed, where it looks as if she had thrown herself when she first arrived.

 

"You must think me a silly, spoiled child, Ruby," Snow whispers suddenly with a hollowness that has Red's eyes snapping back to the younger girl who continued to stare away.

 

"Of course not, Maj–"

 

" _Snow_." Red's mouth snaps shut again when the Princess's eyes find her own, their shade having turned to a bright and vibrant green due to the red surrounding them. All at once she looks hurt, angry, and pitifully desperate as her voice cracks. "Don't… aren't we past titles, Ruby? Aren't we friends?"

 

"Yes," Red whispers at once, though she doesn't move or immediately follow-up, despite Snow's imploring look. Her tongue feels thick and her thoughts are muddled, and despite a genuine, comforting mention of her own fondness for Snow on her lips, she can't make it come to pass. Just because the past few months with Regina had been tense and tiring, while her time with Snow sweet and getting easier every day, Regina was… Regina. And she had her loyalty. And with that loyalty came Red's absolute sweet nothings. "I know… it can't be easy for you, but… it's not for me, either, Snow. You are my closest friend, but you are still the next ruler of this kingdom."

 

The Princess nods, but drops her gaze anyway, hands still tucked behind her while she leant back against the door. "I am a silly, spoiled child though, aren't I?"

 

"Snow–"

 

"Your honesty would be appreciated, both as my lady-in-waiting and my friend," Snow interjects quietly.

 

"...A little, Your Grace."

 

Snow lets out a snort, looking as if she's unable to keep the smile that's blooming on her lips off her face and Red is immediately relieved at the shift in atmosphere.

 

"The other girls would have lied, you know," she states as she pushes off the door and begins to walk, collapsing on the featherbed she had been in previously and sighing. She pats the mattress and Red follows, sliding up and leaning back against the headboard, a large slab of the same oak that made up the door with hundreds of flowers of all types and sizes carved into its grains. "I'm not mad because I think the party is ruined."

 

"I know." Snow glances over at her. "You want your father and Regina here, I know you miss them."

 

"If it were only that, I wouldn't be so off-centre. I do miss them, more than anything but… do you know how exhausting it is to be the host of a party with dignitaries from all over the lands? Keeping track of their names, of our history with them, of our current trade agreements, of new children and grandchildren. Pretending I'm thrilled to be strapped into a corset and put on display so I can prance and preen around them in the hopes that they'll think me everything a princess should be." She lets out a long-awaited breath, sighing as she reached up to rub her face. "It's as if I'm an actor playing a role I don't recognize anymore."

 

Red understands what she means, far more than she'd even like to admit to herself. She feels the same way whenever she goes home to visit Granny, trying to be Red and shed Ruby, but it's all become a mixed muddled mess that she doesn't know how to sort out anymore. She doesn't remember who Red even is, but she's pretty sure she died that night in the woods with Peter.

 

"This life…" It's Red's turn to glance away as she struggles with her words. "At court… There's so… _so_ much more to it than I ever could have thought. You have to watch everything you say and do, the politics are just way too much, and the _rules_ , gods, it's impossible to keep track of them all. I feel…" She's treading on dangerous ground because she's talking to Snow as Ruby but giving her Red's insights, when Regina was the only one who should witness that part of herself. "I feel like I don't know myself when I'm here. I think I could, if I could just… think again, but…"

 

"There's nowhere in the palace where you can," Snow finishes for her and Red lets out a relieved breath. "This… this isn't what I want… I want to be a good ruler to my people, but I always imagined… there'd be a bit more adventure in my life. I've seen amazing places and things but… I keep trying to find meaning in all of this and I don't know where it is. I don't think I ever will in this palace. I suppose when everything's sunny you start to miss the shade."

 

"...And there I go being a silly spoiled child again." The Princess laughs hollowly but relaxes back against the pillows lined up behind her. And for a moment, while they lounge back on Snow's bed on a lazy day and silently revel in a new unspoken understanding of the suffocation they feel in their respective fake roles, Red feels the most normal she's felt since the day she discovered what she was. Their reverie is broken, not unpleasantly, by Snow's voice once more. "Where do you feel the most at peace, Lady Comstock?"

 

"In the woods, Your Highness. I love walking in the woods. The mountain where I grew up… my father's hold, it was in the middle of a great forest. I didn't even know how expansive it was until the day I left it."

 

Snow smiles and lolls her head to the side to look at Red, lifting up her hand to hold it out to her. "I feel as if it would be best for both of our states of mind to endeavour to take more walks in the woods, if you would indulge me such an honour."

 

Red laughs and accepts the out turned hand.

 

* * *

 

When Regina does return, it's with a more than renewed exuberance for Red. Her smile was immediate and brilliant as she stepped out of the carriage, and surely Snow, who stood in front of Red, thought the gesture was for her. But Red knew better, felt her chest tighten and her breath quicken at the vision in blue that was home once again. The whole crowd was charmed, and it was if the sun was burning brighter in the kingdom as the cheering audience welcomed the Queen and her husband home.

 

It doesn't take long for her to find herself back in the Queen's arms, hidden away in the back of her chambers to her dressing area, pressed back against the wall and receiving her most favourite of Regina's kisses – the ones that are tantalizing languid and so incredibly teasing. There is no rush though; no need for hunger when they have their chance to enjoy themselves, to reacquaint themselves after nearly a month's absence from each other's presence.

 

Red couldn't explain herself if she tried, the way she feels when Regina's smiling against her lips and daring to pull away from the young girl, but with one last parting brush of her tongue against Red's upper lip that has the werewolf leaning in for more, only to be placated with another, chaste kiss before the Queen manages to get her intended space.

 

"I've missed you so much, Red. Gods, I daresay I almost missed Snow if only for the fact that she diverts her father's attention." Red lets out a laugh and finds herself rewarded with another kiss. "Your nameday is fast-approaching, Little Red. I'm at a loss for how to celebrate such a monumental day."

 

"Liar," Red whispers before jutting forward and stealing Regina's lips once more, not allowing the Queen to escape quite so easily as she had before.

 

"We've known each other for more than a year now," Regina muses, looking at Red fondly as one hand rests on the brunette's hip, the other reaching up to brush her fingertips across Red's cheek. "One day, it will be like this all day, Red. I promise you."

 

Red feels herself beaming, feeling both utterly at peace and shockingly alive at Regina's touch, at her words, at the tone of her voice and the way her brown eyes stare at her as if she was the most important person in all the lands. She brings her own hands up to wrap around the shorter woman's neck, bringing her forehead down to rest it against hers, content but still desperate for more.

 

"All I want for my birthday is for you to follow up on that promise," Red whispers before giving another enthusiastic kiss. Their stolen moment can't last forever, at least not today. So she intends to make her time with Regina count.

 

* * *

 

The King throws a tourney in Snow's honour to make up for his unexpectedly prolonged departure, a quickly thrown together event for the lords, diplomats, and knights of the court. It's a welcome way to take in the changing leaves that litter the tourney grounds so thoroughly that it seems as if the dirt itself is a sea of flames, until the crowds and commotion do away with them gradually as the day progresses. Regina had warned Red that these could be tiresome affairs, but the young girl finds herself as enrapt as Snow is as they watch the barbaric ritual.

 

Throughout the day they've picked their favourites, but early on, Red finds hers. She almost doesn't recognize him, he's changed so much in his months spent training, but Abel's green eyes are as recognizable to Red as Regina's brown ones. She absolutely brightens when she spots him, shining in black armour on a matching black horse, his shoulders now broad and his arms strong enough to balance a lance in one hand and his shield on his other arm. Regina catches her eye and winks from her spot seated next to the King, glittering in sapphires that are weaved into her bodice, drawing the gaze of the crowd at every lull in the entertainment.

 

Abel approaches their stands on horseback as his match nears, helmet and shield passed off to a squire near his starting point. His face has filled out, his jaw squaring, and it's as if any doubt of his likeness to his father is erased from her brain. He's, gods help him, the spitting image of what every knight should be, and the women in the stands take notice. He only looks at Red though.

 

"Your Majesty," he murmurs his deference to Snow before his attention is back on Red, a charming smile on his face. "Lady Comstock."

 

"Abel," Snow says warmly as she glances at the blonde (his hair has grown out now, just a little), "Sir Connington informed me before the tourney that you're to be knighted soon."

 

"If your father sees fit," Abel replies, resting his hands on the horn of his saddle. His armour looks brand new, undoubtedly a gift from his benefactor the Queen. All Red wants to do is catch up with her old training partner. She _misses_ Abel, far more than she realized now that she was looking at him again. His name is announced, by some man off in the distance, and then his competitor's, and Abel is gone after a bow of his head towards the girls, his departure resulting in an immediate burst of discussion. It's silenced after he walks out to greet the crowd and give them a face to his name, only to return to his previous spot, lance raised and waiting.

 

"Would you do me the honour, Lady Ruby Comstock of Crestmore, of giving me your favour?" His voice sounds uncertain, and for whatever reason, that shakes Red enough that she's blanking on an appropriate reply to his question. To her right, Snow presses a ribbon into her hands, one the colour of blood, Red notices as she mechanically reaches up to tie the silk fabric around the lance. Abel neither drops Red's gaze nor seeks it out when it leaves his, but when she's finished, the corner of his lip turns upwards as if he intends to smile.

 

"Ruby," Snow begins slowly, squinting after Abel as he trots off to retrieve his helmet and shield before getting into position, "What was that all about?"

 

"I have no idea," she replies honestly, tearing her own gaze away from the shining black armour, eyebrows raised.

 

"When did you even meet Abel?"

 

"The same day I met Regina… and you. At Midas' castle." _Sloppy, Red._

 

Snow smiles at her, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, another confusing thing that Red simply cannot try to decipher at the moment. Her teasing tone is perfectly on point though. "Ruby, he's clearly infatuated with you."

 

"We're just friends," Red replies, her words almost getting cut off by the sound of the match starting. Her heart almost stops as she watches Abel gallop towards his opponent, lance raised. There's a loud crack that echoes through the grounds as they meet, his black lance colliding with the center of his target's shield, shattering but sending the other man flying off his horse. Red's favour remains wrapped around the base of his ruined weapon as Abel approaches them once more, trotting around the cheering crowd but only raising his visor to nod at Red as he goes by.

 

* * *

 

Even now, when she's in control of her powers and has been for quite some time, full moons set her on edge, especially on the nights when the moon is at its highest. It chills her spine and causes her mood to bounce in such an insufferable way that not even Snow or Regina have the patience for it. Some nights are worse than others, the week of her birthday proving to be especially trying for all involved.

 

"Ruby, you're pacing around as if you've gone mad," Snow drones as she glances over the edge of her book, relaxing in a riding hood against a rock. The crisp autumn air wasn't enough to keep them from their new routine of walking in the woods, but their trek was delayed today by rain and then giving the ground time to settle so they didn't come back caked in mud. The sun has almost set, but Snow seems to be in no rush today.

 

"I feel as if I'm about to go mad," Red mutters as she walks in an oval shape near the riverbank, running a hand through her tousled brown hair. Truthfully, she wants to go for a run, but that, unfortunately, is not something ladies do.

 

Snow gives an amused smile and drops her book, standing from her spot on the ground and brushing off the back of her cloak. "I'm going to return to the castle. I'd recommend that you take a walk around the forest a few times to get rid of some of this energy of yours. You know the servants gossip when they see you walking around the castle halls at night."

 

"Are you sure you want to walk back by yourself?"

 

"The guards are waiting at the road, as always. I'll tell Sir Harris to wait for you."

 

"Thank you, Snow, I will be back before you finish your supper, I swear," Red gushes as she takes Snow's hands in her own and squeezes them. She thinks she sees her then, Regina, or perhaps her mind is just intoxicated by the Queen. When she looks again, there's no one around her except for Snow's retreating form, Regina's scent nowhere to be found as Red starts into the woods.

 

The woods surrounding the castle were relatively safe, as far as forests go, routinely scoured by guards and hunters from the palace. The young girl plays with the knot holding her cloak around her after she slows, pacing around a small clearing as she waits for the fading pink sky to give way to the darkness overtaking it. She senses the person behind her before she can hear or smell them, whipping around and bracing herself as she took in the sight of an odd man.

 

"Dinna mean to startle you, dearie. Please, take a breath," he says in a weird, lilting accent she can't quite place. His skin looks as if he's scaled, the colour an odd mix of bronze and green that has Red second-guessing herself. He's not very big though, and it sets her at ease as she assesses her threat. This seems to amuse him, resulting in a queer, high-pitched giggle that she feels like she's heard before. "The Queen said you take instructions well."

 

The comment has her bristling again, but she doesn't give into the questions on the tip of her tongue. He – whoever he is – wants her to ask, she knows that. But she has no intention on playing this game. The man – if he _was_ a man at all, she was starting to suspect that he very well could be a monster of some kind – once more finds amusement in her reaction, or lack thereof, smiling an untrusting grin and tittering once more.

 

"Rather a quiet one, aren't you, Lady Ruby of Crestmore." Rather than delude herself into a denial at his knowing tone, she accepts that he, who or whatever he may be, knows. He knows far too much. Where had Red heard his laugh before? "The strong silent type isn't usually one that suits a lady, especially one of… noble blood, but you, dearie," his hands move about gaily as he speaks, flourishing in a way that gives his speech as much intricacies as his tone. "Well, it works for you. I've always found girls who gossip to be a bore."

 

He walks around her, his circle giving her a wide berth, and she's at least thankful for the space. He's dressed in finery more rich and opulent than she's ever seen, even more so than anything she's seen the King himself wear. But the rest of him – his scaly skin, his nails like claws at the end of his hands, his dark and murky brown eyes; whatever his wealth may be, it seemed to only save him from so much. Finished with his assessment as he nears his starting place once more, he smiles at Red.

 

"Quite close with the princess now, aren't you? I see you two walk these woods often now, it's a shame the winter months are coming. I fear her constitution may not be quite as strong as yours when it comes to… harsher weather." He waves his hand as if to dismiss the thought, his grin bright despite the darkness that has now overtaken the woods as the night sky becomes littered with stars. Red glances up at the moon in the eastern sky and the man seems to follow her gaze. "A full moon," he muses, brown eyes once more finding her own, "there's no more lovely a sight, wouldn't you agree? I hope Her Majesty is faring well out here in the deep, dark woods with that as her only light…"

 

He's turned away from her since he started speaking again, his back now towards her, his intentions to make her speak clear, but his message even clearer. Red hates this, this thing inside her that is so desperate to know, but so mad for caring about the answer as much as she does.

 

"What have you done to her?"

 

"Me?" The thing asks, turning on foot to meet her once more, a look of fake innocence on his face, to which he now points towards. "I wouldn't dream of it – big fan of the royal family," his amused tone switches to one that is dripping with sarcasm. With a breath he turns once more, only halfway this time to keep both Red and the castle in his gaze, waving towards the capital almost fondly. Directing her. "But there are others out there, out _here_ , who may not be quite as enamoured…"

 

Red doesn't think as she pushes past him and into the thick of the woods, hearing the distant laugh he gives but paying no mind as she tears through the bushes, surely running faster and harder than she ever has before – feeling more in tune with the wolf inside her than she ever has before. She would call Snow's name if she could think clearly, if any of her faculties were at all cognizant, but she's moving on instinct, ducking under branches and hurtling over rocks before they've even registered in her mind.

 

There's a yell somewhere in the distance that has her turning so sharply she nearly collides with a great redwood. Before she can decipher if it's Snow's, the coppery smell of blood catches her and she forces herself to attend to it first, to ensure that it's not her friend. Red finds the body and stops only for a moment, taking in one shuddering, violent breath as she recognizes Sir Harris' red hair under his helm, the blood pooling around him still being fed by the cut across his neck. She's moving again, Snow's scent mixed somewhere among the crisp smell of the autumn breeze and the metallic tinge that the blood gives.

 

Snow is struggling in the woods, the smell of Harris' blood losing its potency as someone else's takes its place. A man's voice – more than one, three at least; they're all talking at the same time, one louder than the rest as he tries to quiet the princess. The sound of a smack, the smell of more blood though less strong than the others, and a roar from one of the men, another yell from Snow, this time cut short.

 

Red sees them amongst the trees, and Snow sees Red immediately, her eyes widening in alarm as she watches the girl rush towards her. The blonde man holding the struggling princess down in an attempt to control her, has three vicious scratches across his cheek that are bleeding profusely, staining her green dress crimson as it dripped off his jaw. The two other men hear her coming and shout, not before Snow yells, "Ruby, no, run–"

 

She tears at the knot holding her cloak together and before the black haired man closest to her can raise his sword or widen his eyes at the sight rushing towards him, her canine teeth are ripping at his throat. A bolt from a crossbow whizzes past her head and she turns in an instant, swivelling around and rearing on her hind legs, one great paw batting away the weapon while the other swipes broad marks down the man's chest and stomach and he falls back against the ground with a thud.

 

Snow and her assailant are both equally stunned, having not moved from their position and both sporting a matching terrified expression as all of Red's paws come in contact with the dirt once more. She bares her teeth as she stalks towards the two, powerful jaw snapping once and dripping with the first attacker's blood, her keen gaze set on the blonde man who immediately scrambles to get off Snow, shuffling backwards and whimpering at the sight of the wolf. The moment he turns to get up and run she springs on him, tearing the life from him until the only sound left in the woods is her own breathing.

 

It takes her a moment to turn to Snow, the girl having pulled herself back against the tree, the left side of her face sporting a nasty welt that will surely bruise for weeks. She's taking in shuddering breaths, eyes frenzied and disbelieving as she stares at the canine, flinching when Red moves to approach her. Red whimpers in return, ears turning back and head cast downwards but she has to get away from the corpse underneath her, choosing instead to lope to a spot in front of the Princess.

 

"Ruby." It's barely even whispered, let alone said, and if her hearing weren't so acute as the wolf, Red surely would have missed it. Her muzzle is still dripping with blood but when she looks up, Snow is leaning over, still looking just as frenzied and in a great deal of disbelief, but not unsure as her arm extends. Her delicate hands are shaking but they calm as they come in contact with Red, her fingers running through the thick fur of her mane, blue eyes following their movement as if she can't believe them to be her own.

 

Red changes back, not particularly sure as to why, but _she_ wants to see Snow, to be with her and take a relieved breath that a bruise was the Princess' only takeaway from the encounter. She reaches up, her own hand shaky as her fingers brush against the darkening wound. The gentle touch seems to cause Snow to crumble and in an instant her arms are thrown around Red's shoulders, hugging her as if she's afraid Red will leave.

 

"I owe you my life," the Princess whispers, a hint of amusement in her tone on top of the desperation and urgency layered in her words. She lets out a breath and rests her head against Red's, laughing quietly. "Ruby, you… you're _amazing_."

 

* * *

 

There are at least a hundred men and women packed into the throne room, all dressed in expensive jewels and clothes, the knights in gleaming, polished armours and royals in their crowns, all staring at _her_. She has a terrifying flashback to her trial, the oppressive gaze making her chest tighten. If the Queen would only smile, she would be able to breathe properly, she thinks. But her corset – new, as was everything else she wore, save for the gold necklace Granny gave her that hangs around her neck and Regina's bracelet – felt as if it was draining the life from her. She had to look her best, though. On today of all days. She was a werewolf with the gaze of an entire kingdom on her shoulders.

 

Anna's hand pushing at her back starts her walking from her spot at the beginning of the long rug stretched out to the thrones, the crowd a few feet away on either side. She's walking alone, a solitary death march, but she keeps her hands folded and her chin high as she approaches the monarchs set at the center of the great room. Snow, still luminescent in the bright sun that the windows let in despite her black and blue cheek, is standing next to her father, Abigail – the representation required from Midas' kingdom – to Regina's left, while the monarchs remain seated in their opulent chairs. When she reaches the steps up to the thrones, Red begins to kneel.

 

"Stop." There's a small murmur among the crowd as Leopold rises from his chair. Red straightens as the King makes his way down the stairs, his steps echoing in the once-more quiet room. When he reaches Red he stops, staring at her for a moment with a look she can't quite place, before he's kneeling before her, taking her hand in his own. "Once more I find myself the one to bow to the saviour of my beloved daughter."

 

Red would look at Regina, but she doesn't dare – not here. Leopold rises once more, both of Red's hands now in his own as he stares at her now with an open look of admiration. "There is no honour in this kingdom that I could bestow on you that would in anyway truly compensate you for what you have done for not only me, but my people. You will receive the most beautiful estate my lands have to offer for when you should marry, a home of your own in this, your new kingdom."

 

"Lady Ruby is a hero," he says, now turning to address the crowds, giving Red the chance to breathe as the attention is diverted from her for only a moment. "A girl of eighteen saving my daughter from three bandits in the woods when two of my own knights could not even do as much. How such a feat is even possible…"

 

The King laughs a little as he trails off, and Red can see Snow's smile turn to one of a girl with a secret.

 

* * *

 

The Queen is silent, has been for a long time, standing at the window, a glowing silhouette in the dark. She doesn't forget how beautiful Regina is – how could she? But it takes her a back every time she catches her in a moment like this. The perfect lighting reminding her just how stunning this woman is. Red stays back though, afraid of this set-up. Regina is rarely silent with her and she doesn't know how to take it when she is.

 

"I shouldn't have changed, I know–"

 

"Red–"

 

"But there were three of them and they were armed, Regina–"

 

Brown eyes turn to meet hers. "Red–"

 

But she presses on, "And I couldn't let her die–"

 

" _Red_." It's not said above a normal conversational level, but Regina could be as commanding with a whisper as she could with a yell. She was truly born to be a Queen. "I wish… I wish you hadn't shared this particular side of yourself with the Princess, but what's done is done and… I am quite glad you saved her life."

 

She gives herself a moment to collect her thoughts, thankful for the return of Regina's eyes on her, _truly_ on her once more. When she doesn't respond, Regina holds out her hand to beckon her over, turning back once she's arrived so they can look out at the woods, the quiet sounds of the forest drown out by the revelries below. Ruby Comstock of Crestmore had warranted a party, apparently. Red wonders how many people are toasting to a girl who doesn't exist.

 

"Do you not wish Snow dead?" Red asks, her own voice a whisper. It seems she is wondering about a very many things at the moment.

 

"Some days," Regina admits, sighing tiredly and leaning on Red. "Not every day." It's more of a relief than she dare admit to herself, and Red tries to remain composed at the confession. Regina turns to press a kiss against her shoulder, repeating, "I'm glad you saved her," before turning away and beginning to rid herself of her jewellery. "She needed a reason… a real reason, to solidify her fondness for you, and now she owes her life to you, Ruby Comstock." Regina smiles brightly over her shoulder, sliding a large opal ring off her delicate finger and collapsing onto the bench in front of her vanity, continuing on almost distractedly, "And that is a debt that is awfully hard to repay."

 

Red almost replies that she knows this all too well.

 

Almost.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [thegirl20](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20).

“Can you… Can I see once more?”

 

Red shakes her head as she and Snow continue on their tour of the gardens, the snow falling from the grey clouds above light, sparse, and unwilling to remain on the ground when it reaches the end of its journey. It is a warning of winter, but not one that the citizens of the kingdom seriously, as the sun seems intent on giving the cold months a run for their money. Strong winds have stripped the trees of their leaves, but Red always finds a certain prettiness at the sight of bare branches against the bright sky.

 

“I can only change on a full moon,” she explains as they take their seat on a stone bench near the large fountain in the center of the palace grounds. Even though the day is unusually warm for being on the brink of winter, Snow is still bundled up in clothes more suitable to a much colder day. Whoever that thing in the forest was, was quite right about her royal constitution to the weather. “A few days a month, that’s all. I… hear, smell, and see better than most even when I’m not changed, though, Majesty.”

 

Snow laughs and looks out at the dancing water, shaking her head as if in disbelief. “I always knew you were remarkable, Ruby. I obviously had little idea as to just how remarkable, but nonetheless.” The Princess turns to her and smiles, cheek still marred by the slowly fading bruise. Not that it hinders her in the slightest, the young girl seems to take it as a badge of honour rather than a reminder of a terrible memory. A few months ago, Red would have scoffed at the very thought – a silly little girl acting as if an attack is an adventure to be proud of – but she knows better now. Of Snow’s intentions, of her good heart. “I’m so clearly indebted to you for saving my life, Ruby, but even more so that you… shared this gift with me. I know it must be…”

 

“Terrifying,” Red finishes quietly as she looks across the barren grounds. “It’s no gift, Your Grace.”

 

“It _is_ , Ruby!” Snow insists, taking her hand. “What would have happened if you weren’t there to save me?”

 

“I’ve taken more lives than I’ve saved because of the wolf,” she snaps, tearing her hand away and forgetting herself for a moment. “I’ve killed… countless people… Peter…” She’s crying. Well, tears are falling anyway, and it’s something she hasn’t done since the day of her trial. She doesn’t realize there are tears until Snow is earnestly wiping at her cheeks and whispering to her that all is well. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know then, I w-wouldn’t have…”

 

“How could you not know?” Snow whispers, pulling Red into her embrace and Red allows it and tries in vain to not blend Peter’s face with those of the men she attacked in the forest.

 

“I wasn’t told until–”

 

Red senses him before she sees him, though Abel moves quietly, even with his heavy sword hanging from his belt. He’s less than ten feet away from them, standing at the opening to the courtyard where the fountain stands, the vicious marks on his neck visible over the black collar of his doublet. His green eyes remain blank as he surveys the girls.

 

“I came when I saw you crying, Lady Ruby. Are you in distress?”

 

Snow stiffens, arms still wrapped around the other girl and tone slightly colder than her usual address. “Thank you for your concern, Sir Abel, but the lady and I are in no peril.”

 

“I understand, Majesty, but Lady Ruby’s presence has been requested.”

 

“Under whose authority?” Snow demands, holding Red in place when she tries to stand.

 

“The Queen’s, Your Grace.” Both girls freeze at the mention of the Queen, Snow surely at the unexpected name and Red at the brazen way Abel speaks of such an order. The blonde haired knight picks up on their discomfort, eyes remaining locked with the Princess’ as he bows his head in deference. “I believe it is in regards to a matter concerning Her Grace, Princess Abigail. It seems she hopes for Lady Ruby’s insight on how to console a mutual friend.”

 

Red stands then, taking herself from Snow’s grasp, smoothing out the front of her dress before wiping the tears from her cheeks. She looks down at the Princess and gives her a shaky smile and then bows before her, not looking back at Snow as she turns to the blonde boy – _man_ , she supposes she should acknowledge, as he almost is one. The knighthood gives the feeling of closing the gap, but it seems so odd when it hasn’t even been a year and a half since she met him, and the image of that small boy remained in her head. He has more than an inch on her now, and didn’t seem to ready to stop any time soon.

 

“As the Queen commands,” she murmurs as she approaches and the two walk instep back to the castle. She looks up at the towering palace and sees her on the great balcony overlooking the gardens, raven hair piled on top of her head and brown eyes sharp as they swept over her kingdom, before turning and heading back into the tower. “Why has she really asked for me?”

 

Abel avoids her gaze for a long time, cheeks pinkened by the cool air while his mouth seems to be floundering for words. “It is a personal matter,” he says diplomatically as the door to the gardens is opened for them by stationary guards. “I should hope the outcome is positive.” Green eyes slide to her. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

 

Red takes a shuddering breath and accepts his outturned hand as they come to a staircase, her free one lifting the skirt of her dress as they began to ascend, drawing curious glances from the ladies they pass. It was something she has grown accustomed to while walking with Abel, the eyes of the court seem to follow the gallant blonde everywhere he went. She understands why, she isn't blind after all, but it still feels odd to look at the young boy as anything but just that.

 

"I only wish I knew where I stood on the day-to-day," she drawls lazily as they fall into a brisk walk with one another as they reach the landing atop the stairs. "It's exhausting feeling like you're being pulled every which way, Abel."

 

"I'm sure it is, Lady Ruby."

 

"I feel as if I haven't seen your father in ages, how is he?"

 

"As well as can be expected, though I think he's had quite the itch to return to the woods. He's not quite as adaptable to life in the city as we are, it seems." Red wishes he weren't dressed in black, missing the way crimson reds and lush purples would make his green eyes vibrant under his tousled blonde hair. "He misses your presence greatly."

 

"Liar."

 

"I'm sure he means to say it." Red laughs and shakes her head, intending on walking through the doors that lead to the royal corridor, but Abel grabs her elbow and stops in his place, looking entirely lost. She's about to inquire as to their sudden halt but the blonde quickly shuts her up before she can speak. Abel leans in and presses his chapped lips to her cheek, holding them there for a moment before pulling back once more. He doesn't seem embarrassed per se, but as perplexed as she at the whole situation. "I hope the outcome is positive."

 

His repeated phrase and a bow of his head are the only insights Abel gives before he turns on foot and heads back down the path they had taken. Red stands frozen in spot, fingers reaching up to brush over the spot his lips had been, observing how different it felt to have stubble rub against her skin again (though, very little, it seems fashionable for men to shave in the city when such vanity would have been laughed at by the men from her village). It has been years since she has even thought about kissing someone other than Regina, and as she walks towards the monarch's room in somewhat of a daze, she wonders just how many people have thought about kissing _her_ in all that time. The leers from noblemen had been expected when she had taken on her task, but she has never taken it for anything more than men a few years into their marriages who have gotten bored. It seems odd to consider that she is at all wanted.

 

 _It could just be Abel_ , she rationalizes to herself as she smoothes out the front of her bodice, her steps slowing as she nears the Queen's room so as to allow a few more moments of subtle grooming before she knocks on the heavy door and announces herself. The Queen calls her in with little notice given as she sits in a plush arm chair by the fire, the blaze high and large despite the only moderate breeze outside, whistling around the windows this high in the air.

 

Red makes no move as she closes the door behind her, knowing that if Regina isn't immediately warm and welcoming that she could be in any mood. She waits as a lady should, hands demurely folded in front of her while she keeps her back straight and chin forward.

 

"I was told you wanted to see me, Your Majesty."

 

Regina continues to look at her from her spot, one hand absentmindedly caressing her jaw while the other remains flat against the arm of her chair. Her eyes drink Red in the same probing way they always do, making the werewolf feel as if she is bared and naked before her.

 

"You've your own lands now. Titles if you want them."

 

The words are a statement that seems unsure if it's deciding whether or not to be a question. "Yes, Your Grace," Red answers despite the lack of need.

 

"And to think you were an eligible bachelorette before."

 

Frowning, Red looks down as if she's done something wrong. "I'm a poor girl from a house no one has ever–"

 

"You're a beautiful girl who has earned, in her own right, a house for herself, courtesy of the King himself." Regina says these things factually, surely trying to feign indifference, but Red has known her long enough to pick up on the acid dripping from her tongue. "There's been a request for your hand."

 

Red blinks and her hands fall from their poised position in front of her. Marriage hasn't been something she's thought of for herself since long before she had arrived in this kingdom. Since her days with Peter. Leering lords could be brushed off as just that, but Red most definitely doesn’t consider any of them to be future matches. She hasn't looked at anyone outside of Regina since the moment she met her. She looks at the Queen as if to convey this thought without words, but the monarch is staring at the blazing fire in front of her.

 

"No," she manages feebly.

 

"You don't even want to hear who asked?" Regina murmurs from her seat, still sounding annoyed at this whole conversation she began. Brown eyes slide over to meet Red's once more and she can feel recycled tears from her moment with Snow springing up again as her emotional whiplash takes its toll. "You're of age and with more than enough incentive for young men to ask. Abel certainly wasn't the first," she states blankly to Red as the girl opens her mouth to speak, though nothing comes from it no matter how hard Red attempts to formulate a response. "Just the first to ask me to start courting you whom I thought you would actually consider."

 

Regina allows the silence to linger then, interrupted only by the crackling sounds of the fire. She's still staring at Red with her ever-intrusive gaze, but she seems genuinely interested in gauging her reaction rather than simply staring to unnerve her like she often seems to do. Red can feel herself getting worked up over this situation already, over something she hadn't even been aware she has been doing.

 

"Your answer is no, then? Even to Abel?"

 

Blinking back the oh-so-annoying tears in her eyes, Red keeps her own gaze on the Queen but averted from the pools of brown. She takes a quiet, shuddering breath before speaking. "What do you want me to say?"

 

It's Regina's turn to blink, looking particularly taken back by the question. And Regina without an answer isn't someone Red comes into contact with a great deal.

 

"What do _you_ want?"

 

"To serve you," Red replies immediately, a little untrusting of the fact that Regina has to ask at all. She's emotional and it's making her uneasiness blend with anger at the whole situation – at Abel's go around to Regina, at the accusations of being wanted thrown her way, at Regina herself for still questioning her after all this time. "All I want is to make you happy, Regina. Whatever... whatever you think is best, I'll listen."

 

She watches Regina's face contort, remaining unreadable but obviously distressed as her fingers curl against the fabric of the chair. "You really mean that, don't you?" The question is murmured and clearly one that she doesn't require an answer to as she doesn't wait for one before waving Red over. "I wouldn't ever wish that life upon you, you know."

 

Red finds herself nearly gliding over to Regina as her attitude turned back to the one of the sweet, caring woman Red met over a year ago. Their private moments seem few and far between these days, but it mostly appeared due to the cold fronts Regina could put on out of nowhere. Red drops her head to Regina's lap as she kneels before the woman, curling around her legs at the front of the chair. She sighs as one cheek presses against the cool purple silk of the Queen's dress while the other is covered by Regina's hand.

 

"I would do anything you ask, Regina," she whispers against the fabric her head rested on. "Get married, kill, whatever… whatever you ask. I trust you."

 

"I thought maybe the asker might sway the response in this case. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to settle down now, especially now that you've a choice. Those lands of your need someone to fill them."

 

"Then send someone else," Red breathes as she cracks open her eyes, turning to rest her chin on Regina's thigh so she could stare up at the woman. "Because I am quite at my leisure here, Your Grace."

 

* * *

 

"She will not be sent away like she's livestock to be traded," Regina hisses, her tone quiet but demanding of all the attention a shout would be given. “There’s no advantage in this union, why rush to accept the first offer from another royal family?”

 

The King and Queen fight so rarely that is seems as if the whole castle comes to an abrupt halt when they do. Red is the only other person in the room, now a permanent staple to Snow's side in all matters public or private. In this case, it was both. They sit in the council room, Red standing at Snow's side as the sullen Princess sits at the middle of the table, her parents acting as bookends at either end, though neither look at her while she, in turn, doesn't lift her own sights from her lap.

 

"The Prince is young and revered for–"

 

"She hasn't even had her eighteenth nameday."

 

"And she won't be married until such a time," the King replies, far more calmly than his wife. “Longer, if she wishes.”

 

"She is a child," Regina snaps back irritably.

 

"She is a princess," he replies in the same cool manner. "And she will marry whomever we, as father and daughter, see fit. Won't you, Snow?" The Princess nods at the attention, but with little conviction, causing her father to continue, "And surely you know I would never force you into anything, dear."

 

"Of course, father." Her voice is hollow and quiet and Red's fingers twitch as she keeps herself from reaching over to console the girl.

 

"The southern kingdom–"

 

"Has a jackass for a king and an even bigger jackass for a prince. James is–"

 

"Young, handsome, and not betrothed to anyone," The King adds.

 

"Arrogant, childish, and not known for his respectability," Regina finishes.

 

"Enough, Regina. Snow is agreeable and my mind is made up. We'll send the invite after the new year has begun."

 

The King leaves the room and the three women inside. Silence fills the empty space after the door is closed, Regina's anger palpable even then. She turns her attention to the girl sitting in the middle of the table, brown eyes hard and dark as she stares at her stepdaughter. "You are the _only_ one who can stand up to him, and you say nothing?"

 

The last word is practically spat and it garners no answer from the young monarch. Regina has little else to say to them, sending one more glare in Snow's direction before turning on foot and exiting through the same door her husband had.

 

Red wonders if this has been a family meeting Snow wishes she had attended alone, but she never seems particularly embarrassed in front of Red. Her hand reaches out blindly for Red's assistance to help her rise from her seat in silence, curling her palm around Red's arm when they begin to walk.

 

"We should enjoy our walk in the tower today," she says diplomatically as they step into the hallways and begin walking through them. "They won't board up the windows until the weather really turns, we should enjoy the view while we can."

 

"Of course, Your Grace," Red replies, knowing the sullen mood will surely be lifted for good once Snow caught the sight of a pink-cheeked boy dressed in black.

 

"Poor Abel always looks as if he's been shot whenever he sees you," Snow notes as they pass the aforementioned boy, who avoids their gazes at all costs. If Red were a more confrontational person, she would have demanded the respect of the knight for a conversation at the very least, an honour she is owed as a now prominent member at court. But, in truth, she is as lost for words as he seems to be.

 

"It was silly of him. He didn't even ask _me."_

 

Snow laughs a little, that laugh she uses when Red apparently says something naive and ridiculous for a groomed noble lady, arm encircled with Red's as they make their way up staircases and through the halls, staring out at the gently falling snowflakes the great, open windows allowed them to see.

 

"Of course he didn't ask you. He knows he wouldn't have the right, being so lowborn. And being one of the King's wards, Regina is the one he would have to go to, since she’s still considered your guardian. Or were you expecting some grand, romantic gesture?"

 

"I wasn't expecting anything," Red insists a little irritably. So many matters regarding the rules of nobility were thrown at her, she doesn't know how people possibly keep up with them.

 

"He asked for your favour at the tourney."

 

"I thought he was just being nice!" Again, Snow laughs at her outburst, leaving Red feeling silly enough to join her a little. "Maybe. I didn't... I didn't know what to think of all about that. I still don't."

 

"I think he might like you."

 

"Shut up." She disengages herself from Snow's hold abruptly, but relents as the Princess holds her arm to keep them in place. Red watches Snow for a moment as the whirling snowflakes outside the window blustered in around her, sticking in her dark hair like stars in the night sky. When, exactly, had the Princess grown so regal? "I didn't find that to be a good basis for a relationship."

 

"Some have much less."

 

"That doesn't make it right."

 

"No," Snow agrees with a shake of her head, blue-green eyes staring out at her future kingdom, "it doesn't. But it's still the case for many in this world – that true love might be something you grow into instead of find."

 

It's the sort of heartbreaking, pragmatic advice that makes Red's heart heavy. She can't help but wonder if it was easier growing up and knowing that your life would be determined by a match you had no say in, or if it was more or less of a blessing to be suddenly forced into one like Regina had been. Neither seem better than the other, really.

 

"The Queen... What she said in there–"

 

"Ruby, you don't need–"

 

"She must care for you. A great deal, or she wouldn't find this news so upsetting," Red insists, turning to face Snow more fully.

 

In return, she's given a sad smile and loses Snow's gaze to the valley before them once more. "I suppose that's true."

 

"It is. It must be. I know I don't know her as you do, but if she truly didn't love you, she would have sent you off as soon as she could." _Right?_ Red can't speak for Regina's ever-shifting feelings towards her stepdaughter, but no matter how much she denounces Snow, Regina seems reluctant to actually harm the girl in anyway. Especially in this way. She follows Snow's forlorn gaze as it travels down the hallway towards Regina's chambers, sniffling a little at the smell of the torches being lit along the hall as the day began to near its end. She hates the scent of the oil catching fire, the smell almost pungent enough to mask the metallic odour so faint Red is sure she's mistaken.

 

It's the sharp, high-pitched gasp that follows that has her moving, trance-like towards the heavy door that blocked the hallway to Regina's room from uninvited guests. The guards say something along the lines of the Queen asking for her privacy that evening, even from her serving staff, but Snow quiets them as she follows Red intently. Red snaps from her reverie as the door slams shut behind them, shaking hands reaching to Snow for support.

 

"What's the matter?"

 

She can definitely smell it here, but Red is doing her best to block out the pounding from their heartbeats to listen once more, not daring to take another step closer to Regina's quarters until she sorts out just exactly what is happening in them first. The fire going, the wind whistling, curtains ruffling, a quiet sob, Red's heartbeat increasing. She pushes from Snow and runs down the hallway, bursting into Regina's room and moving blindly towards the commotion.

 

She's leaning against the side of a table near her bathroom, dressed only in a white slip, her face calm but clearly controlled, daring to giveaway when she tries to speak. The blood is rather minimal, really, and it makes little difference to Red as she rushes to Regina's side. But she knows just how much it means as the Queen raises her head to address Snow, who stands forgotten in the doorway.

 

"He can't know." Her voice shakes, which is what draws Red back to focus, keeps her from breaking from Ruby's persona more than she already has. It's terrifying to hear Regina sound afraid of anything, especially something that she couldn't help. Red has seen more than enough women in her village lose children before they were even born to know that. But the weight of this one warrants Regina to begging. "Snow. Please."

 

Snow's at Regina's side in an instant, shushing and consoling her father's wife as they stand her up carefully. She refuses to see a physician or even a midwife, and Snow annoyingly agrees to this for the sake of Regina's discretion. Ruby has little say and Red has to keep reminding herself of this, of how impersonal and awkward she _should_ be, but Snow is so wrapped up in Regina she hardly seems to notice. The Princess meets servants at the great doors down the halls to procure the hot water Regina requests for her bath, something the two girls give her privacy for, giving the teenagers a brief moment to breathe and allow the weight of the situation to settle on them.

 

They don't speak though, not until Regina has long been settled in bed, pale and shivering but still so beautiful in the moonlight that Red more than once finds herself about to reach out to touch the Queen to ensure she's still real before she remembers her company. Snow sits kitty-corner to her, wrapped up in her arms as she huddles against the arms of her chair while Red stretches out on a lounge. Red straightens, a little terrified to think she might have given away too much, and waits. Nothing seems to prove guilt quite like talking after all.

 

"Thank you, Ruby. For..." The silence stretches on like the darkness outside the window. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Red misses her bed in the cabin. The darkness in the woods always seemed far more comforting than the vast void outside the castle. "For everything. I... I owe you so much, Ruby, but especially for tonight. Regina doesn't deserve this pain in her life."

 

The terrifying black emptiness outside seems to be playing with her guard when combined with the emotional toll of the night; her walls slip because being Ruby seems too foreign at the moment. She just wants to be Red for awhile.

 

"Do you think she's sad, Snow?" Red asks tiredly, the hand she has tucked under her head falling to stretch out lazily. The question she’s going to ask borders on the inappropriate, but she needs to know the answer and Snow has spent years with this woman. "That she lost the baby?"

 

Snow gives into another long silence that lingers on, so unbelievably long that Red thinks she's about to go mad. But she won't allow herself to push when it comes to this, no matter how volatile she feels. Snow's day has been more devastating than hers, in more ways than one. She lost a sibling tonight, after all.

 

"I have no doubt that Regina would be an amazing mother. That she wants to be one. But I don't think she's sorry that she's lost a chance to have my father's child tonight."

 

Red supposes she should be stepping into Ruby's role once more, to console and comfort the girl the best she can. It would be frivolous though, she knows that, and unlikely to change any opinion Snow may have in her stepmother. Because even if she wanted to do so, there is no need; Snow holds no judgement in her voice, only understanding. And Ruby wouldn't get that, but Red does, so she stretches her hand out to her friend, letting out a breath she doesn't realize she's been holding in when Snow responds in kind.

 

* * *

 

The horrible night with Regina has at least one positive benefit of allowing Ruby and the Queen to meet under a less suspicious gaze from Snow. They've earned a camaraderie, a small one, but enough that Red finds herself happier and happier as the days go on. The new year is fast approaching and she spends almost every second of the day with either Snow or Regina or both, helping them plan the festivities at courts.

 

"Could I borrow Ruby for the next few days, dear?"

 

Red feels her cheeks darken, earning her a curious look from Anna before she makes the excuse of needing more thread before ducking out of the room and into the small cupboard where the spools were stored. She can't see them anymore, but she can hear Snow's pitch increase just the slightest above her usual speaking voice.

 

"You usually don't care to have handmaids around you." An innocent enough statement, but there's an aggressive tone there if you want to hear it. Red does and it's a little confusing.

 

"No, normally I prefer my solitude, but I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit run down this year." In her head, Red can see Snow's expression twist from feigned indifference to genuine concern. "I feel the extra help getting ready might make all the difference."

 

Red steps back into the room then, obliging and curious as she looks at the two women who know full well she could hear everything they just said, and know just as well that they all have to pretend she hasn't.

 

"Ruby, the Queen was hoping you'd do her the privilege of waiting on her during the festivities." Snow sounds genuine, but Red can see her ticking off in her head the empty hours she'll now have.

 

"It would be an honour, Your Grace."

 

Regina smiles pleasantly but quickly turns her attention back to Snow. “Lady Ruby seemed so surprised to hear of someone asking for her hand. Can you imagine, Snow?”

 

The Princess shakes her head and laughs lightly, beaming at Red when she finishes. “It’s beyond my comprehension, Regina.”

 

Red takes a breath and sits back in her spot, threading her needle as aggressively as one could. "It's times like these that I wish I didn't have to ask your permission to leave."

 

"Such is the life of a handmaiden," Regina clucks, turning her attention back to the book in her hands, the corner of her mouth quirked upwards.

 

"It really is a shame," Snow mockingly agrees, her needlepoint laying forgotten in her lap as she begins to detail the many suitors Regina has turned down in Ruby's name when they came to request more time with the young woman who so rarely sought out male attention.

 

She supposes it should make her feel like an abomination of sorts, many places in the land demonized those whose attentions didn't fit the status quo. But it isn't that she doesn't find herself attracted to men (Abel really _is_ deserving of the many wanting gazes thrown his way from the women of the court, Red will easily admit), but everyone seems to pale in comparison to Regina when Red allows her mind to wander. Abel is handsome and gallant, the Princess beautiful and charming, but Regina is... otherworldly.

 

And maddening beyond comprehension. As it turns out, Regina _was_ actually requesting her services as a handmaiden. She finds herself spending the time running errands around the castle for the Queen, a day that proves to be far more involving and exhausting than any she's spent in Snow's service. She's circled the palace at least twice by the day is through, but still finds herself under employment as the night wears on, standing tiredly at attention as Regina mills about her room, the servants ducking in and out with basins of hot water to fill Regina's tub.

 

"My dress, dear," she murmurs, gesturing behind her to guide Ruby to the tightly bonded corset holding her periwinkle gown up. Red almost jumps at the command, alerted by Regina's wish more than her voice. The bath is steaming in its designated room off Regina's while the fire crackles in the sitting area.

 

Her fingers delicately tug at the strings crisscrossed over the monarch's spine. Snow hates when Red undresses her, not that she ever says anything. But she's bashful around the taller girl when she rids the Princess of her outer layers and leaves her in a slip, to the point where Red has been getting slightly more neurotic about her already lacking skills as a handmaiden. Of course, even if she tries, she can't blame that on the sole reason as to why she's taking silent, shaky breaths as she stands behind Regina and unthreads the strings.

 

As the corset parts, Red lowers herself to the ground with the skirt of the Queen's dress in her hands, allowing Regina to step out of it, dressed only in a white shift. It turns Red's stomach a little when she remembers the last time she saw Regina in such a state of undress, in this very room, but the Queen gives her little time to dwell as she walks over to the tub of steaming water on the other side of the room and peels off the last remaining layer of her clothing. Red drops her gaze immediately, feeling her mouth fall open, heavy with unsaid words, and her cheeks start to warm as she gathers the clothes she's still kneeling next to. Regina is a master of unnerving her, especially when Red can't even tell if she's being played with. Which, she surely is. She just doesn't find herself very adept at these games, no matter how often Regina plays them.

 

Regina's hair, piled high atop her head, is all Red can see from her spot as she takes it, a few feet away from the basin of water her ruler sits soaking in. This is her job after all. Snow demanded privacy for her baths, but again Red finds herself recalling the young princess only announcing such things on nights when it's Red attending her rather than one of the other girls. She's relatively sure she strips in front of Anna without so much as batting an eyelash, and the more Red dwells on it, the more insulting she begins to find the slight. That is, until Regina announces that she's finished with her bath.

 

The werewolf moves up to the basin and holds out a robe to wrap Regina in, but she finds her mind fogging as the Queen rises from the steam in front of her, droplets cascading down her body as she parts from the oil-laced water. Red can feel Regina's gaze on her but rather than dare to blink and fumble, she just lifts her arms, holding out the silk robe so Regina can slide her arms through, keeping her own sights marked safely over the Queen's shoulder.

 

"I never would have thought a wolf would have so much willpower," Regina muses and it fills Red with relief and the tiniest bit of anger, as Regina's words always seem to when she ends their little game.

 

"This isn't nice or fair," Red murmurs in return, only the slightest bit petulant as she steps away. She can see Regina's smirk grow, but she remains quiet as she walks towards her vanity, sitting gracefully and undoing her hair as Red calls for the servants to do away with her bath water. She continues to help the Queen prepare for the evening, turning down her bed before assisting her by brushing out the knots in her hair. They're alone again when Regina stops her automatic movements, reaching behind her to catch Red's wrist and bring it to her mouth, kissing the pulse pounding against the young girl's skin and meeting her gaze in the looking glass before her.

 

"You should try to take what you want more, Red," she whispers sweetly, dropping the werewolf's eyeline to turn her head and softly kiss her forearm. "It's done wonders for me."

 

The undoubtedly expensive hairbrush in her hand falls to the floor at the second press of Regina's lips against her arm. It makes her feel foolish, but Red can't help it when Regina's voice drops to a purr and her eyes narrow in like they are now. Red watches her stand and wonders why Regina seems to take so much joy in making Red be the one to make a move when Regina's always the one holding all the cards.

 

"You really love being the queen, don't you?" she asks a little breathlessly. Surely, standing there barefoot and dressed only in a silk robe the same iridescent colour as a pearl, Regina's trying to paint herself the lamb when they both know she's the wolf staring down her prey.

 

“I like to think I’ve grown into the role.”

 

Whether it counts as winning or losing Regina's game to give in and kiss her, Red doesn't care. She's more than happy to receive last place in her race if it means she gets a stolen moment of privacy with minimal clothing and a Regina who is clearly desperate for attention.

 

Her kisses are hungrier and sloppier than she normally likes to betray, but it feels as if it's been ages since she's had the chance to steal more than a chaste peck in the corridors. And Red would rather devour than savour right now. Regina doesn't seem to be in much better sorts, really. Grabbing roughly at Red's jaw to hold her in place while their impatient pace has her occasionally teetering in her balance, pulling Red to and fro when neither is willing to break their hold on the other.

 

It's Regina who finally breaks their stalemate, pushing at Red's shoulders until the younger woman is stepping back, lips still persistent but relenting when the movements have them stumbling. Regina's fingers are meticulously undoing the clasps on her corset, and in her haste her robe falls open and Red feels her heart tighten before breaking and breathing rapidly once more. She follows Regina's advice and takes what she wants darting a hand forward to splay against the expanse of skin presented to her.

 

Regina lingers as she pulls back from Red's lips, eyes warm as they stare up at her. She looks like she wants to say something but Red finds herself sick of talking, so she leans down and presses her lips along Regina's jaw with intent, hand sliding up the flat stomach underneath it to cup her breast. Regina sighs against Red's cheek, murmuring her approval before dropping her head to press hot, quick kisses on Red's shoulder, pawing at the sleeves of her dress.

 

It's not enough to break Red from the trance from Regina's lips against her skin, but she's aware of the fast approaching footsteps on some level. When Regina clues in at the sound of someone coughing outside her door before reaching up to knock, Red cuts her off before she can start, kissing her quickly and barely speaking above a whisper as she pleads for the Queen to ignore whoever it is. She knows she's lost, however, when it's Henry's voice that comes through the door.

 

"Regina, I'm sorry to disturb you so late–"

 

"I'm in bed, father," Regina calls from her spot, hand reaching up to cover the one on her breast.

 

"I know, I'm sorry. But the King demands your input at the council table on the matter of Prince James. He suggests that it would be a conversation you'd want to be present for."

 

Regina groans quietly and Red tries once more with a leading kiss to stem the idea of delaying their venture further. "He's persistent at holding this meeting at such a late hour?"

 

"I’m afraid so. I’m told it's not something he wishes to sleep on further."

 

"Give me a moment to get dressed."

 

Red sighs as Henry agrees, heading back down the hallway, and falls back on the bed in a frustrated mess. Regina pats Red's thigh and gives her own defeated sigh before stepping towards her wardrobe in search of a clean shift to wear under her robe.

 

"You don't seem near as mad as I am about this," Red states to her hands, letting them fall back against the bed after she takes a breath.

 

"Trust me, dear, I'm furious," Regina intones as her robe falls from her shoulders. Red allows herself to look openly now, though the half shadows dancing from the fire do little for her tonight. She wants to see Regina in the full light of the sun and appreciate every inch of her. The older woman looks over her shoulder and smiles at Red. "One day. Soon. All the time in the world."

 

"You keep saying that."

 

"And I keep meaning it." She raises the shift above her head and looks for a simple dress to slip into. "I hope you never feel as if I'm... indifferent to you, Red."

 

"You're very hard to read sometimes," is all Red offers as she stands to help Regina into the simple navy dress she's picked out. Red thinks it suits her as well as any opulent ball gown she has stashed away.

 

"I'm sorry for that. There's... always so much on my mind." She turns to Red and begins to redo the clasps on her corset that she had undone only a few minutes ago. "You're who I want at my side. Now and forever. I'm sorry if I've ever given you doubts to that."

 

Red accepts the kiss, accepts the apology. She can't imagine not doing so. Still, Regina is leaving her with her stomach twisted and warm, pacing around the large chamber surrounded by her scent while she allows the Queen and her father a lead down the hallways before slipping out. She knows her still crisply made bed will likely already have the servants gossiping, but she can't bring herself to head towards her room up near the Princess' chambers, choosing instead to to walk near the still-opened windows in the tower. She has no moon to blame for the fire in her veins, only Regina, but even the cool winter breeze seems to do nothing for her overheated skin and frazzled temperment. Again, it keeps her from acknowledging the footsteps approaching her until they're actually behind her, the scent of the girl padding across the snow-dusted floors keeping her at ease despite the intrusion.

 

"Ruby, whatever are you doing out here at this hour?"

 

"Just couldn't sleep, Your Grace," she murmurs as Snow comes to stand next to her. She's in the same attire Regina was wearing when she left her chambers, her own robe drawn tightly around her. The moon is shining as the blustering clouds began to trail off into the west, bright enough that Snow's milky skin seems to glow. Red wishes she had first seen the Princess in this light, stunning and somber rather than the awkward young girl who she had first laid eyes on greeting adoring crowds. Red wouldn't have been able to believe any of the Queen's opinions of Snow if this had been her state in Red's mind when told such tales.

 

"Troubled?"

 

"No, just... worked up, Majesty." Snow nods absentmindedly and holds her robe closer to herself in an attempt to block the cutting wind. "I heard... I ran into the Queen and her father in the hall, she said she was going to discuss your upcoming betrothal."

 

Again, Snow nods distractedly, staring out into the darkness as if she were waiting for it to provide her with answers to something. "I told my father I wouldn't accept the engagement. He wouldn't admit being disappointed to me, so I suppose he had to rouse his council members and complain to them." She shakes her head, chastising herself. "I sound so impertinent. Most fathers wouldn't let their daughters have a say at all."

 

Red examines her quietly, marvelled by the way the cold air seems to make this girl's beauty come alive as it darkens her cheeks and lips and makes her eyes glow. "Forgive me for not saying this enough, Your Grace, but you're really very beautiful."

 

That snaps Snow out of her reverie, leaving the younger girl with a visible flush climbing her neck. She looks up at Red a little bewildered, scrutinizing her the same way the older girl had scrutinized her.

 

"You're a little ridiculous, you know," Snow accuses breathlessly. "Acting naive as to why the men at court are so desperate for your favour."

 

"Lands and a title seem to help."

 

"Don't be glib," the young princess warns, a grin on her lips. "You really have no idea just how enchanting you are, do you?" Red raises an eyebrow at the question. "How can you not notice how taken people are with you, Ruby?"

 

She's waiting for an answer this time and Red finds herself obligated to obey, despite how little knowledge she apparently seems to have on this subject of herself. "I suppose I didn't come to court looking for a husband."

 

"Then why did you come?"

 

"To serve you," Red answers slowly, as if it were obvious.

 

Again, Snow shakes her head in disbelief, turning to face Red. "You silly, beautiful girl. Surely that can't be your only endgame. People who live in castles don't settle for their positions, they're always striving for more."

 

"I would rather earn loyalty and affection than titles and lands, Your Grace. They're much more valuable."

 

The Princess looks at her seemingly taken back by her honesty, whether because she finds it stupid or not, Red can't say. But Snow is staring at her as if trying to decide if she believes her, waiting for Red to recant. When she doesn't, the raven-haired girl reaches over, cold hand sliding up to the werewolf's neck, resting over her pulse.

 

"Sometimes I can't decide if you're real, Ruby." Her thumb moves back and forth and Red can feel her breath come to a sudden halt when her still-tight stomach clues her slow brain into Snow's intentions as the shorter girl rises to the balls of her feet to close the gap between them. She's confused still, by the whole situation, by her own racing pulse and her reaction (or lack thereof), but mostly Red finds herself mad for not realizing why Snow spent so much time in her presence blushing.

 

She's awkward and slow, but there's something endearing about it, about her lack of experience and clumsiness when she’s always so confident and poised about everything else in her life. The sweetness she’s come to expect from the girl is there too, the warmth and honesty. Red's response is instinctual rather than something done on a conscious level, her still-raging hormones demanding the relief of anyone who is willing to provide it. Still, her return kiss is half-hearted at best, and cut short when her brain catches up with her body. She hears the disappointed noise Snow seems to unintentionally make when the taller girl pulls away from her, feels her fingers curl against Red’s skin as if hoping to catch on something to keep her in place.

 

The embarrassment is clear on her face, but the rejection is even more evident, though before Red can say anything the Princess is stepping away and laughing nervously. “That was… I’m sorry, Ruby, I’m not… I’m…” She’s moving away from Red and towards the staircase, shaking her head.

 

“Snow–”

 

“You’ll be attending Regina for the next few days. Hopefully by the time you’ve returned, I’ve come to my senses.”

 

Snow down the hallway and disappearing into the darkness of the stairway before Red can say anything else, not that she knows what she would say at all.

 

* * *

 

She leaves word with Henry, whom she finds still standing near the council room door despite the now extremely late (or early) hour, that she’ll be late to attend Regina the next day, and finds her way out of the castle. Red feels like she can’t breathe, living in the same palace as the numerous people in her life who send her thoughts into overdrive. No longer worked up but frustrated with the way her life seems to be backing her into a corner, she escapes, as far as she can. Tricking stationary guards is incredibly easy – disturbingly so, considering they’re protecting the lives of the land’s royal family – a rock thrown off to a corner, the right shadows on the wall; it makes Red miss her hunts in the woods. _Her_ hunts, not the wolf’s.

 

The streets are glowing with the faint yellow light of the sun off in the east, which rises gradually as she makes her way through the deserted streets of the village. If she had been tired, Red would have just buried herself in her bed at the castle and hoped for the best in the morning, but instead she’s as annoyingly energetic as she was when Regina’s mouth was on her own, leaving her with little option but to escape to the only person she knew who wanted nothing to do with the politics of the towering palace behind her.

 

She’s up already, because she’s Granny and of course she is, but Red has been hoping that she would have been able to sneak into her old abode just for a moment before Granny was alerted to her presence. Immediately, and stupidly, Red finds herself regretting what she’s wearing in front of her matriarch, though it’s not without cause, as Granny’s eyes give her a disdainful once over as she opens the door.

 

“How inconspicuous,” she clucks, impatiently closing the door behind her granddaughter before setting herself to the task of making breakfast. Red joins her silently (after putting on an apron, because it’s really quite a nice, if not slightly ostentatious, dress with its violet and navy paisley pattern), not in the least bit hungry but thankful for the distraction. She misses working with her hands, she realizes a little sullenly as she prepares the bread for toasting and dices different fruits. Needlework and painting tables and the other silly things noblewomen have to have a handle on to be considered accomplished were absolutely and dreadfully boring, and their result (especially Red’s result in the various, dainty tasks) were incredibly unsatisfying.

 

It’s an unspoken battle of wills about who will say something first – Red’s visits have been terribly infrequent as of late, and usually only a short stop by during the afternoon when she can manage to sneak away, so surely Granny knows something is up. She always makes the mistake of underestimating the years of patience Red honed at her side in the forest, waiting for prey to come. And mostly, Granny doesn’t like to not say what’s on her mind.

 

“You look very pretty.”

 

“ _Granny_ –”

 

“I was being sincere.”

 

Red sighs and tears apart a chunk of her bread – despite the fact that she isn’t that hungry, Granny’s meals are hard to pass up, especially anything she’s baked. “Thank you.”

 

There’s another bout of silence and Red glances up to study her grandmother, trying to think back to the last time she had breakfast, or, really, any meal with the older woman. Another weight falls onto her chest as she counts the months its been, feeling selfish and awful for all but abandoning her grandmother in this city that Red’s predicament forced her to flee to. It was in favour of Regina, the woman who saved her life, but that seems hollow now. Granny is her family. Her only family.

 

“Shouldn’t you be busy preparing for the festivities? Seems like the castle servants are in the market every day buying more and more for the thing.”

 

“I’m so tired, Granny,” she whispers, her voice not feeling at all like her own – not at all like the Ruby-Red she’s become at least. Maybe it’s old Red seeping in, waking up after a long hibernation to remind her that she did indeed exist before the wolf. And that she liked it.

 

Granny doesn’t do something superfluous like tell her to lay down or ask why, because her grandmother isn’t tedious like that. She’s smart and she knows exactly what Red means, but she’s still Granny and Red already knows that she’s going to be equal parts brutal as she is comforting - if she’s comforting at all.

 

“We could leave.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“You can, you just won’t.”

 

Her neck starts to warm as the flush creeps upwards, but she keeps the tears down even when her tightening voice gives her away. “I can’t… I care about them.”

 

“Who do you care about?” Granny asks in a way that implies she already knows, even with her filtered information, who Red is talking about. But she wants to hear her say the names.

 

“Regina.” She closes her eyes in an attempt to block out the paisley design covering her lap. How stupid she was to wear something so eye-catching when she wasn’t supposed to be seen around town outside of the market. How stupid she was to respond to that kiss even a little. “Snow.”

 

“And why isn’t that a good thing?” She looks away, which seems ridiculous when her eyes are still closed, but she hates the feeling of Granny’s eyes on her when she knows how terrible her admittance is. “I’m tired of you hiding, Red. In training sessions, castles, and even little dresses.”

 

“She wants Snow dead.” Red is surprised by the power of her own voice, but even more surprised that she manages to admit anything at all. She’s spent so long avoiding this fact she once clung to, burying the brutal truth that her presence in the castle is to try to help Regina maintain the upper hand on the Princess. She wasn’t meant to actually become friends with the girl, grow fond of her to the point where the future ruler would mistake her affections for something more. “She wants her dead and I knew that, but…”

 

There’s silence for a long time, Red knows Granny is waiting for her gaze again, but Red can’t. She can’t open her eyes and look at her grandmother after admitting that fact she’s attempted to hide from her conscious mind. Sometimes, though, she underestimates Granny’s patience too, because eventually so much time passes that Red has to check and reassure herself that her grandmother is indeed still there.

 

She is and she’s looking at Red with _that_ look, that one of all-knowing that had guaranteed her a childhood of having to admit to every bad thing she did because it always seemed like Granny knew everything anyway. And now, even when Red knows she doesn’t and that there's no possible way that Granny could know any more than the information Red has given her, it feels like she can still read her better than Red can read herself.

 

“What are you going to do?” The tears come, but don’t make a grand entrance, sliding down Red’s without notice whenever she blinks. She shakes her head, eyes darting away while her shoulders shrug only to return and find her grandmother looking at her with her familiar hard gaze, one topped with a look of such severe disappointment that Red’s breakfast turns in her stomach. “She’s a young girl–”

 

“I _know_.”

 

“A beautiful, bright young girl,” Granny insists sharply. “With an entire kingdom’s fate on her shoulders.” That’s it. That’s the end of her speech, because Granny’s the type of person to hit the nail on the head in a succinct way rather than beat the point home. That’s all she would have kept reminding Red of, no matter what she might have tried to say to justify her complacency or Regina’s vengeance.

 

She clears the plates while Red collects herself, taking the opportunity to steal away into her old room. Red had taken most of her very few belongings with her, but there’s a few old items of clothing here still, so she digs around until she finds an old cloak she had purchased not long after arriving in the city to keep her hidden for her walk back to the palace. She sits on the end of her old bed, wishing she had her red cape with her at the moment. She needs another reminder of home, of her life before this mess.

 

After a few moments lamenting in her old room, she steps back into the kitchen, moving slowly on shaky legs as she watches her grandmother finish wiping down the table. Granny looks up at her and then out the window, sighing as she turns back to one of the small boxes on the countertop and opens it.

 

“You should be heading back soon, they’ll need you today.” Red nods absentmindedly and looks back down at the garment she’s holding until Granny speaks again, a small wrapped bundle now in her own hands. “Lemon cakes.”

 

“Thank you,” she whispers as she takes the package, her voice feeling raw as the night’s missed sleep starts to catch up with the exhausting emotional upheaval of the past few hours. She wonders if she’ll even allow herself to enjoy these later on, but she feels like the answer is likely to be no. “Thank you for breakfast.”

 

“Any time, you know that.” Nodding, Red pushes herself off the wall, wrapping the old cape around her shoulders and pulling the hood up as she walks towards the door. She stops in the doorway for half a moment when Granny speaks again behind her, tired hazel eyes staring blankly at the passing people in the streets. “You’re better than all of this, Red. Don’t get lost in her.”


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [thegirl20](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20).

She's thankful that Regina told her to take the day off upon her arrival to her chambers that morning, offering the obviously exhausted shifter the day to rest before the great party that evening, which later proves to be every bit as taxing as Red had assumed it would be. It's easily the grandest party she has yet to attend, surpassing the previous year's festivities due to the influx of dignitaries from visiting lands. That part Red at least finds interesting, meeting new people had always been thrilling to her, especially those who had exotic tales from their homelands or travels.

 

But dealing with two royals, one of whom won't meet her gaze to save her life, while the other looks as if each smile given to noblemen from her husband's side pains her beyond belief, is absolutely taxing. Both are steadily consuming goblets of wine as the night goes on and Red finds herself with little reason not to join them, standing apart from the crowds of people in the hopes of blending in with the walls as she waits for the new year to begin. Her third round in her hand, Red's eyes take in the exquisite finery the party goers are dressed in when she feels someone take the spot at her side.

 

"Abel," she breathes in relief as the blonde boy meets her gaze for the first time in months. He's dressed in something vaguely festive for once, having swapped his regular black doublet for one made of a gold material that seemed to bring out the amber flecks in his eyes. She could see the top of the ugly peeking out at the high neckline, standing out against the black stitching at the hem.

 

"There's a group of men at the window who have been talking about bothering you all evening. I came over when one of them seemed to actually work up the nerve." He nods towards a red-haired man who jumps at the realization that he's been caught glowering at the two and promptly returns to his party. "It seemed like the knightly thing to do."

 

Red laughs and relaxes back against the cool stone behind her once more, bringing her cup to her lips again. "My hero." Her eyes catch sight of Snow who is dancing in the middle of the hall, looking jovial if not a little flushed from wine. "The company is appreciated as well."

 

"As is yours. I still feel as if I don't belong at these functions," he admits, green eyes settling on the Princess as well. "Your absence last night has been the gossip of the serving staff, you know. They say you were gone from your chambers until well into the morning."

 

"Oh, it's an undoubtedly riveting tale – I was visiting my grandmother." He doesn't laugh, but if Abel were the type to laugh she's sure that's what she would be receiving in place of the small grin on his lips. "I suppose I'll have to come up with a better excuse for such visits. Are you sure you came over here to save me or to be saved yourself?" she asks as a group of women dressed in silks from Agrabah pass them, fluttering their eyes at Abel who remains stoically facing forward.

 

"Mutual benefit." She guffaws and his grin turns into something akin to a smile. "I had a message to pass on as well; the Queen would enjoy a private word at the top of the hour, if you would grant her the time. I believe you'll find her out by her apple tree."

 

The Queen is indeed at her apple tree, the garden lit by the bright half-moon hanging in the sky. Dressed in pale pink and shining in diamonds that litter not only her bodice, but are set in strands braided in her hair as well. Even in the bright crimson dress she wears, Red finds herself once more feeling underdressed in Regina's presence. But she approaches anyway, eyes glancing up to the apple tree that, like the rest of the kingdom, remains unravaged by the mild winter.

 

Regina's lips curve into a smile as Red approaches, her hand greeting the girl before she does by sliding around Red's hip when she arrives next to her. Red only wishes she didn't feel so guilty so she can enjoy Regina's unwarranted affection once more.

 

"You should only ever wear red," Regina murmurs, breath warm and scented with sweetwine from the far off deserts of their guests. "No one looks quite as stunning as you when you do."

 

She's brazen tonight – drunk might be a more appropriate term, but she still seems far too composed when compared to the people bumbling around inside – and she proves it by leaning in to steal a not-so-chaste kiss from Red. It's foolish of Regina, really, in the gardens where anyone could spot them, but it endears Red to have the woman care so little when in the pursuit of what she wants, the thrill drown out by the remembrance of the last person to do such a thing, not a day ago.

 

"She kissed me," Red murmurs before Regina has even leaned away, keeping her eyes closed in an attempt to shield herself from anything might Regina might say or do – or worse, _express_. Red can't bear it. "I didn't... I swear, Regina, I didn’t know she was going to… I wouldn’t have let her, you have to believe me.”

 

Regina’s breathing has slowed, quieted so much that if it wasn’t for the steady beating of her heart that Red can still hear over the commotion inside the castle, she probably wouldn’t be sure she is still alive. Regina's expression, when Red finally wills herself to take it in, is a pained mixture of disbelief and something that the werewolf can't quite place; Regina's masks are perfection when she employs them, but there's something dark and scary behind it, Red can see it there even under the layers Regina so carefully constructs.

 

"You have to believe me," she repeats her plea, hands moving to Regina's neck and holding her close, deciding an offense is better than her weak defense. She kisses Regina once, then twice hoping to convey even a half measure of what she felt. "You can't think after all this time that I've ever even looked at anyone else. You're all I think about. The only one."

 

She can smell Abel – that scent of polished swords and the faint wolfish aroma that lingers from visits with his father – but she doesn't dare turn to face him until Regina meets her eye again. Her expression is still illegible but she gives Red a look that promises a follow-up about the situation as she steps away. When Red finds Abel's gaze behind her it seems to be guarded and not at all like the warm almost-smile he had given her the hour before.

 

"The Sultan has inquired of your absence and the King seems affronted that you would excuse yourself without leave."

 

"Of course he is," Regina mutters darkly as she breezes past Red and back into the castle, Abel at her side like a guard dog. Red sighs, her breath coming out in only a faint visible puff. For some reason the warm winter unnerves her, though she can't figure out quite why that is. It seems even the snow can't match the going ons of this kingdom, no matter how much it tries.

  

* * *

 

It's downright audacious of Regina, really. Sneaking away in the dead of night for stolen kisses is one thing, but it's a different story to have a Queen arriving at the handmaiden's door in the bright morning light just as the castle is turning in from the festivities. There's still a flush on her cheeks from the wine, but her eyes have a sobering clarity as Red opens the door to reveal them. There's something about the sharpness of her gaze that has Red backing away breathlessly as she enters, the door slamming shut behind the raven-haired woman.

 

Regina grabs her face roughly and her kiss isn't at all gentle, but Red finds herself not caring as she moans against the Queen's lips, the sweetwine flavour still strong on them. It's Regina who takes every step, dominating and in control as she shoves the sleeves of Red's nightgown down her arms and bites at her lower lip. She is only dressed in a robe and shift herself, two items that are easily done away with, but before Red can so much as open her eyes to take in the view she finds herself being pushed back onto her bed, Regina close behind.

 

She can't see Regina with the continued assault on her lips, but she can _feel_ her; all soft skin and gentle curves that make the vicious kisses that much more dizzying. Her hands splay across Regina's back, sliding up and down the increasingly warming skin. She loves this more than anything, she decides, being wrapped up in Regina and uncaring of the world beyond her door. Red tears her head away and takes in a shuddering gasp as the Queen's idle hands finally motivate themselves beyond that of holding Red down, her left bearing her weight while the other slides up to twist a pert, red nipple. It's experimental, the inexperience hidden behind an upsurge of passion and preeminence, and it leaves Red feeling as if there’s a fire scorching her skin in Regina’s wake.

 

The onus to be careful is apparently on her shoulders (though she can’t imagine that she would be the one to receive a true punishment if they are caught), with the Queen all but smirking against Red’s skin at the reaction her touch receives, lips puckering to press a warm kiss to the girl’s cheek before repeating her hand's movement. It earns her Red’s nails pressing against her spine, not hard enough to draw blood but she still leaves a few nasty welts nonetheless. Regina returns them in kind, head dropping to Red’s shoulder and neck so her teeth can mottle them with bruises that she will surely have fun trying to cover from the prying eyes of the court – undoubtedly Regina's intention.

 

She bites her lip preemptively as she feels the hand at her breast slowly make its way down her stomach, hating her eyes for being unwilling to open despite the fact that she has Regina overtop her, dressed in the bright morning light and nothing else. She takes in a jittering breath as royal fingertips brush across her navel, Regina's movements becoming more conscious and deliberate as they move lower, parting wet folds and earning a pained groan for her efforts. Her teeth have stopped their assault on Red's collarbone, warm lips pulling away from the shifter's skin presumably to gauge her reactions. Cool digits warm quickly as they slide down and then back up while Red's own hand falls to the duvet beneath them, curling her fingers in the soft material rather than claw at the other woman's back.

 

She waits for it, that bite of pain the women in her village and the ones at court promised, and it comes when Regina none-too-gently drives three slim fingers into her. It's at the back of her mind in an instant though, the painful ache taking second to the intoxicating rush as Regina again claims her mouth, kisses sweet while her hand remains almost brutally persistent. Red can't imagine anything less Regina-like.

 

"Look at you," Regina murmurs softly against Red's whimpering mouth. She feels as if she's engulfed in flames but she manages to look up nonetheless, the steady gaze above her all at once malicious and warm. "So beautiful." Red's eyes refuse to remain open as the Queen's fingers twist viciously inside her, drawing a moan that the young girl can’t quite keep lodged away. But her hand slows to a maddeningly lethargic pace, assuredly to garner the reaction this decrease receives, which is Red’s attention once again seeking out the older woman’s. After all, who would Regina be without an audience?

 

“And mine,” she whispers possessively, comfortingly, passionately – Red can’t quite be sure, but she doesn’t particularly care because her gaze earns her Regina’s favour again. It’s maddeningly difficult but entirely worth it to watch Regina’s jaw move with each gasp Red takes, mirroring the shifter’s engaging movements but not the same sounds. Red’s throat aches from the effort it takes to keep her voice down, at each pained breath that seems unwilling to please her lungs. Her body feels like a tense ball of energy, the embers growing with each haphazard thrust of Regina’s delicate hand.

 

But even when the tightening coil inside her snaps, the blaze doesn’t seem to peter out, only intensify. Red’s whole body seems to vibrate and her gasps still have yet to provide her with any oxygen or comfort. There’s no relief in her climax; instantly addictive pleasure, undoubtedly, but rather than quell any desire within her, it gives Red the crushing realization that there simply won’t ever be enough nights like these to ever satisfy her. Her gluttony will only grow while Regina is within her reach.

 

Not that she is, even now. When Red’s shaking hand unclenches the bedding and rises in an attempt to take control, she’s immediately shot down – her wrist clenched instantly by sticky fingers and pinned back on the mattress. Regina’s smirk has returned full force, imperious and resilient to the dangers that could be lurking outside the door from any servant simply trying to get a start on the new day and year. She looks every bit as dangerous as Red imagines she can be, even if that smirk turns into an almost fond smile as her head drops to the top of the brunette's breast, mouth encircling the nipple her fingers had neglected before.

 

Red groans deep in her chest, freed hands flying to Regina's long hair to tangle in the ebony locks. Her whole body is far too oversensitized for this but she can't bring herself to protest – not that she has the mental faculties to do such a thing at the moment anyway. Crimson lips have passed her navel and before she can recognize this fact her body arching off the bed, the first swipe of Regina's tongue against that bundle of nerves that's calling out for a break nearly leaving her to double over. _Too much_ , she thinks but can't force herself to verbalize, the only sounds escaping her lips becoming desperate whimpers and whines.

 

When it's over – when her hoarse voice can finally muster the words to inform Regina she will surely die if she lays another finger on her after a second, semi-painful climax – the Queen relents, curling around Red, a satisfied smile on her lips as the sound of the castle waking outside Red's chambers echo in the hallways. Her hand sifts through the young girl's chocolate locks, eyes shut and nose brushing against Red's with every move of her head.

 

"You didn't let me touch you," Red accuses in a whisper, body exhausted and sated, eyes tired and heavy. But Regina looks more serene than Red's ever seen her, awash in the yellow light of the day most have begun already. She can't possibly allow them to close now.

 

"Trust me, dear, I've been waiting for someone like you far longer than you've been waiting for me. Indulge me this once," she murmurs, tilting her chin to catch Red's lips in a sweet kiss that makes Red melt.

 

"You've ruined me, you know. No noble lord will take a sullied maiden for a bride."

 

Regina laughs as her brown eyes open, squinting against the bright light of the sun. Her fingers untangle from Red's hair to trail down her jaw, thumb brushing over her lower lip when she reaches the shifter's chin. " _Good_."

 

It's Red's turn to smile, though it fades at the realization that this new year is to start out with the same problems as the last one had. "I suppose I'll be back in Snow's service today."

 

"You _are_ her lady-in-waiting."

 

"What do I do?" Red asks quietly, hating the fact that she has to bring this subject up when entangled in Regina's arms and the soft sheets of her bed.

 

Regina holds her gaze for a moment before closing her eyes once more, sighing softly against the pillow her cheek rests on. "I can hardly blame her for wanting you. I'm sure you can find a way to make it work to your advantage." Her thumb brushes against Red's lip once more. "But she doesn't get to keep you."

  

* * *

  

Try as she might, and she does try awfully hard, Snow can't escape being alone with Red forever. Her handmaids have diminished to that of Anna, a girl soon to be married, and Red herself. A few days into the new year finally ends with Red being the only one available to wait on Snow. The Princess is as diplomatic as the young woman is expected to be, but more often than not she seems to mumble her words out of embarrassment and there's a pink tinge to her cheeks whenever she accidentally meets Red's eye.

 

Red is equally conflicted; Regina's words weren't explicit, but her wish for Red to remain close to the girl seems to be paramount since the new year has begun. She assures Red that her plan to be free of her marriage, whatever it is, will be executed within a month or two, should all the pieces come into place. But this... Red glances at Snow in the soft, flickering light of the fire, lips parted and silently moving to form the words she reads. Red doesn't know if she can go through with this.

 

She has to though. Regina all but told her to and so she must, despite the twisting knots in her stomach as she slides from her own chair to kneel in front of Snow, working up the courage to meet the Princess' undoubtedly confused gaze as she rests her hands atop Snow's legs. The book in front of her face drops to her side and her breathing becomes heavy as Red sits up on her knees, eyes focused on Snow's lips as she nears her face rather than allow her gaze to give her away. She almost wishes she could feel that shock of lightning like when Regina kisses her, that would at least make her feel less like a fraud; but Snow's lips, while soft and sweet and tasting of pomegranates, offer no spark, only a meek return that Red tries to prompt into becoming more.

 

"Ruby," she whispers after pulling her head back, green eyes somber but judgement-free. She smiles a little sadly at Red as the older girl sits back on her shins, taking in a shuddering breath and speaking more to her hands than the girl in front of her chair. "You don't have feelings for me."

 

It's a statement unsure if it wants to be a question and it leaves Red to answer tepidly, albeit truthfully in response. "I'm very fond of you, Snow."

 

Snow takes another breath that's more confident than the one before. "This is a falsehood if you're not doing this for yourself and I fear that is most certainly the case." Red's heart stops for a moment at Snow's words, fearing herself to be found out. "It's nice that you would go to such an effort to appease me, Ruby, but I'm afraid it's for naught if your heart isn't in it."

 

She lets out a breath, relieved to not be the reason she and Regina were caught, but there's an ache in her chest at Snow's bittersweet tone. "I'm sorry, Your Grace. I thought... I thought this is what you wanted."

 

"I'm afraid even I don't know what I want," Snow admits, a small, genuine grin on her lips that Red is relieved to see.

 

"I just don't want to lose you," Red breathes, surprising herself a little at the admission.

 

"Nor I you, Ruby," Snow gushes in return immediately, sliding from the chair to mirror Red's position, taking the werewolf's hands in her own. "You're my best friend. I never thought... People in my position are lucky to have people close to them who are half as loyal as you, and few have the luxury of calling those select few around them true friends."

 

Red has nothing to say in return, the practised words on her tongue dying at the heartfelt plea. She's never felt so guilty in her life, even at her trial for Peter's death. At least then she hadn't been willingly toying with the life of a person she cared for.

 

"I hope to be deserving of that praise one day, Snow," she whispers, not trusting herself so she reaches forward and pulls the Princess close.

 

* * *

 

"I thought you had more of a backbone than this, Abigail," Regina spits harshly, her face more full of contempt than Red has ever seen, even from this distance. She had been asked to wait in the hall for the visiting monarch from her kingdom, though it seems trivial when Regina has left the door to her chambers open, giving Red not only a view of her and the blonde but a clear indication of what they're saying.

 

"I have a kingdom to think of, Regina. Not all of us have the luxury of being blinded by our revenge." Red would never admit it out loud, but she feels an immense amount of respect for anyone who would dare to speak to Regina in such a way, especially when that person knows of Regina's abilities. "I'm not being sold off–"

 

"Oh, spare me. You know as well as I that your father will all but do that the moment an offer for your hand comes in."

 

"My father respects me and my wishes," Abigail replies icily. "Our kingdom is the richest in all of the lands thanks to him, I will–"

 

"Be a prize to be won then," Regina states, matching the Princess' tone and glower. "What about Frederick?"

 

"Am I to continue to wait for him forever, Regina? How many men am I to send to their deaths to that lake of yours? I've done everything I can." Abigail's tone, while strong and not lacking in confidence, has an edge of pain to it. "It's my duty to my kingdom to marry and continue my line. I'm sure my father will find a husband to do the job dutifully, and I have no doubt that I will have a final say in who that man is."

 

"You're a coward."

 

"I'm a pragmatist," the blonde fires back, gathering the skirts of her dress, "and I will not stand here and be talked down to. Not even by you, Regina."

 

"Enjoy being traded like a broodmare as I was, then," the Queen snaps, turning in the opposite direction to stalk off to her balcony.

 

Abigail almost breezes right past Red, leaving the young girl scrambling to keep in-step with her. "Abigail, I'm sure she won't hold onto this resentment forever."

 

"You must not have been paying attention to Regina then," the Princess replies sardonically, "as she excels in that very field of work."

 

"She just wants what's best for you, you must know that," Red tries once more.

 

"Undoubtedly. Unfortunately Regina doesn't always take into consideration that our own wishes can't always come first." She continues on muttering darkly, "And I fear she may never learn that lesson."

 

"I'm sorry," Red whispers, earning her an abrupt halt and a questioning look from the woman. "That you couldn't save Frederick. I'm truly sorry."

 

An almost incredulous look passes over Abigail's lovely features before she sighs. "You really are a sweet girl, aren't you? Regina... is absolutely lucky to have you." Red smiles a little but it drops almost immediately at the blonde's follow-up. "I hope she deserves such devotion, but I'm becoming increasingly aware that she might not."

 

Red doesn't reply, dropping her gaze when she realizes that any response she gives will not only be in vain, but that Abigail would be able to easily poke through any defense she could possibly give. The visiting princess seems to take pity on her, reaching out to grasp Red's arm and squeeze it.

 

"I know Regina has given you this life, and much more, I gather." Red flushes at the hint of an accusatory tone, but Abigail pays no mind. "And I cannot fault you for your loyalty, Red, it's rather admirable but..." Abigail trails off and glances back down the hallway to Regina's chambers, hand falling back down to her side as she sighs. "Just watch out for yourself, Red. You've seen how easy it is for her mood to change. And a pretty face like yours, not to mention that loyal little heart, shouldn't go to waste on someone who only has vengeance on her mind. She doesn't deserve you."

 

Abigail leaves in a flurry of violet chiffon and that's the last Red ever sees of her in this kingdom.

  

* * *

 

There's a strange guest in the castle whom Snow informs her is a genie, whatever that may be. Leopold had apparently freed the man from a lamp or something equally as ridiculous, Red's not quite sure. Nor does she particularly care. All she knows is that she doesn't like this strange visitor or the way he looks at Regina. She especially doesn’t like that.

 

"They grant wishes, Ruby," Snow informs her for at least the fifth time, an amused smile on her face. "I'm not sure if he still can now that he's been freed, but they're quite powerful."

 

"He doesn't look that powerful," Red mutters obstinately from her spot behind Snow, carefully pinning her hair back to prepare for the banquet that evening.

 

"Well _you_ don't look like you could change into a wolf whenever the moon is just right, so I suppose you're not in a position to judge." Snow smiles in the looking glass as Red rolls her eyes. "You really don't care for him, do you?"

 

"If you're worried about my behaviour, you need not; I will show him every respect a man from a bottle is due."

 

The Princess laughs outright, waving away Red's hands to tuck in the last few strands of ebony hair herself. She turns in her chair to face Red when she finishes, reaching for her wrist to run her thumb over the bracelet Regina had given her years ago. "You don't have to join us tonight if you wish. I'm sure I can manage without my escort."

 

"If I do I may very well lose the opportunity to make fun of something he does or says, Your Grace." Snow's grin brightens for a moment before it fades almost completely while her thumb brushes over rubies inlaid in gold that create flower petals on her ornament. "Is something the matter, Snow?"

 

"I know... I know it's been a few weeks now, but when you were waiting on the Queen did you..." Her eyebrows furrow for a moment and she bites her lip. "Did you notice anything... odd? Was she... she just seems as if she's been on edge lately, and with Abigail storming out of here the other week, I just... I don't know. I was just wondering if anything in her behaviour seemed off to you."

 

Red stops to consider her words as she watches Snow trace the jewels adorned on her wrist. "I don't know, Your Majesty. I don't know her as you do." Snow nods absentmindedly, letting out a sigh. "She... she doesn't always seem like the woman I first met," she continues cautiously. "And that is... it's hard to reconcile sometimes – my view of her being different from what I thought."

 

"I swear, Ruby," Snow breathes, her small smile returning, "sometimes it feels like you know what I'm thinking. Is that just your animal intuition?"

 

Red's jaw drops in mock offense, her hand reaching for a small decorative pillow to toss at the future queen, who laughs in return before throwing it back at the girl.

 

The banquet for the King’s birthday is subdued compared to most of their royal feasts and grand festivities, but Snow’s father doesn’t seem to care for the attention so much when his daughter is at his side. The whole party watches as he bids Snow attention in favour of his wife’s, praising her in front of the crowd while Regina’s exit isn’t even given heed. Red watches her leave, itching to follow, but Snow catches her gaze and beckons her over. She watches, though, out of the corner of her eye as the wish-granting man follows her queen out into the courtyard.

 

She steals away into Regina’s room that night before the Queen arrives, standing back in the shadows while she waits. She’s not jealous, that would be absolutely absurd. It’s just… hard when Red isn’t sure what she means to Regina. And the idea of someone else being equally enamoured isn’t absurd by any means, but it was frustrating when Red knows how easily Regina can play upon that fact with someone, and she isn’t about to let someone else take the woman's affections from her.

 

Regina enters with her father, still in mid-conversation while they discuss retrieving a last minute package from another land. Regina almost seems manic with excess energy, not even noticing Red until she had thrown upon the shutters on her window, letting the bright light from the half-moon in. Her hand flies up but the crackle of magic fades as quickly as it had appeared at her fingertips.

 

"Red," she breathes irritably. The look passes in an instant as an idea seemingly hits her. "Red..."

 

"I'm sorry for startling you." She glances at Henry and then back to Regina. "I was hoping for a word."

 

Regina exchanges a glance with her father, muttering something to him about preparing a horse before she walks up to Red, positively beaming as she grabs the werewolf's face, kissing her with more zeal than she ever has before.

 

"I have my way out, Red. Our way out. The King will be gone before the week is through if you can do me one last favour." The Queen's hands drop to Red's so she can bring the girl's knuckles to her lips. "Tell me you're as excited as I."

 

"I am, Regina," she insists quickly, earning her another joyful kiss. "What... what of this favour though..."

 

"Oh, sweet girl, nothing nefarious, I swear. I only need you to ride to the western crossing and retrieve a package for me. You will have to leave now however." Her hands are being tugged towards the door, though Regina stops them when they reach it, turning and waving her hand until Red finds herself dressed in clothes more suitable to riding, her hood included. "Soon it will be over, Red. And we can be happy."

 

* * *

 

There's something thrilling about speeding through the night on horseback, the only sounds being those of nature and the thundering noise of eight hooves beating against the dirt paths. The last time Red had been on such a journey was her leisurely trip to Abigail's kingdom, after which she had returned as Ruby. She's going the same direction by heading westward and has her same companion accompanying her – Abel is hot on her heels – but there's something about the urgency in which Regina sent her that gives her such purpose that she feels like the wolf, running on instinct through the woods. Even though they make it all the way to the western crossing in what must be record time, the person they're to meet to retrieve the package from is nowhere to be seen, and every minute that passes reminds Red that it will be another minute for Snow to notice her absence when the dawn breaks.

 

"Where is this trader?" Red bemoans for the fifth time, pacing back and forth while her horse watches with halfhearted interest, far too focused on grazing to give her his full attention. The night is clear and cool, the darkness overhead blanketed with stars that seem to provide as much light as the moon. With each gust of the wind she tries to pick up the scent of _anything_ but fails to do so.

 

"I'll head further down the path and see if I can see anyone," Abel offers, his dark attire making him appear to be a jolt of golden hair amongst shadows. Red sighs as she watches him trot down the path, leaning back against a tree as she stares at her horse. She had never been a patient person, but this business of having the end so close yet having it withheld from her is absolutely maddening.

 

"Sorry to keep you waiting, dearie." The unmistakable voice comes from behind her, initially startling her but the fright gives way to weariness as she takes in the sight of the odd man from the forest. He stands with his arms behind his back, but presents them in front of himself with a flourish, an ornamental box appearing in his hands. "I believe this is what you were expecting."

 

Red eyes him warily before she reaches out, gloved hands reaching to open the lid only to have it snapped shut as the man tuts her as if scolding a child. "Now, now. What's inside isn't meant for the likes of you."

 

"What _is_ inside?" She finally asks as the box become too intriguing for her to ignore. Its contents move occasionally, but it's the multiple, rapid heartbeats that have truly caught her intention.

 

"The surprise inside is a few lovely vipers, dear."

 

"Snakes," Red states, reaching for the box once more, finding the man's own grasp slightly frustrating as she tries to tug it out of his hold.

 

"Snakes," he confirms, claw-like nails curling around the edge of the ornate box. "Deadly ones." Red yanks the box from his grasp at his accusatory tone. "But I'm sure you know better than anyone what Regina's intentions are. I'm curious as to whether or not she plans to use them for all the members of the royal family."

 

Red doesn't answer, has none to give regardless, but she doesn't drop his gaze, fearing to do so should it imply guilt of any kind. No, these were for the King and he most certainly deserves such a fate. This, this is something Red has no qualms about.

 

"But, no, I expect she'll be more creative than that when it comes to torturing Snow." He lets out a giggle, clearly amused by himself. But his dark eyes take a sharp, pointed look at Red. "A little more… personal. I'm sure you'll be the one I'll have to ask about that. She undoubtedly intends to get _some_ use out of you after all the time."

 

"No." She refutes it even though everything inside her is telling her not to answer this man, to not give into his baiting words. "Regina promised I wouldn't have any part in–"

 

"Says the wolf-girl with the box of vipers," he cuts her off with a bored indifference. "Come now, dearie, open those big eyes of yours. You can't hide from the truth forever." He disappears in a puff of black smoke but he continues talking, his voice feeling as if it's being whispered directly into her ear. "Especially not when you're holding the King's murder weapon in your hands."

 

* * *

   

"The Queen has been forbidden visitors."

 

"Excuse me?" Red asks incredulously, the wrapped box feeling heavy in her arms as she stands in front of the men entrusted with guarding the hallway that leads to the Queen's room. The ride back from her midnight meeting had proven to be exhausting, especially when she arrived back at the castle with the intent of bringing Regina her parcel as soon as she could. She is exhausted and ill-prepared for a day at court as it is, she doesn't need this setback. "I am the King's ward and demand–"

 

"Under order of the King," the nameless guard stresses, "the Queen is to be kept in her room and receive no visitors."

 

"Lady Comstock." The voice cuts her off before Red can open her own mouth to retort, Henry's timid tone catching her before she loses her temper. The box in her hands and the man's parting words last night have her on edge and she just wants all of this to be over already. The two wordlessly walk to an empty corridor, glancing around uneasily before they speak. "You've retrieved the snakes then."

 

Red hands over the box wordlessly, the heavy afternoon sun making her feel more tired than she already is. A lingering sense of dread overtakes her as she wraps her empty arms around herself. "How are you even going–"

 

"Regina has a plan," the old man says quietly, giving a distasteful glance as a barely audible hiss is heard. "I just have to ensure this gets to the right person."

 

"I don't want to hear anymore." It's a risky thing to mutter in such a repugnant tone, knowing full well the withering look it would earn her from Regina – or may still, depending on how agreeable Henry is.

 

But the Queen's father just nods sympathetically and turns to leave, stopping briefly to look up at Red with a small, genuine expression. "Thank you for all you've done for my daughter, Red. None of this would have been possible without you."

 

* * *

 

"I hope you don't mind," Snow says quietly as she steps in, closing the heavy door behind her as she does. She's dressed in pale pink, the colour having a wildly different effect against her alabaster skin when compared to Regina's tanned complexion.

 

"No, of course not." Red sits up from her position, brushing back her hair from her face. The day had proved to be too nerve-wracking and eventually the brunette had given up and retreated to her room. Though even away from the prying eyes of the court and in the comfort of her own bed, Red still feels utterly out of place. "I told Anna where to find me, but I wasn't needed so I came to rest."

 

"I'm interrupting your nap?"

 

"Not at all. I'm afraid every time I close my eyes they just open again." Leaning back against the pillows she's piled up, Red pats the bed and Snow doesn't take any more encouragement before clamouring onto the mattress next to her.

 

"At breakfast Regina told me she sent you to retrieve something from the market early this morning."

 

"Imagine my surprise when I returned to the castle only to find I couldn't deliver it to her." She tries to keep her tone light and curious, but she fears her frayed edges have left her more raw than she'd like to appear. Snow's already sullen expression turns absolutely heartbreaking at the quip.

 

"I don't know what's going on, Ruby," Snow admits, sounding painfully desperate and just as tired as Red feels.

 

"The King must have given a reason."

 

Snow shakes her head and looks down at the hands in her lap. "None that he would give me. He doesn't want the palace knowing."

 

Red sighs as yet another dead end appears, eyes shifting over to her red cloak draped over a chair in the corner. Something about the sight implores her to tell Snow of the box she was sent to retrieve, the deadly contents inside, and how they were meant for her father. But she can't. She opens her mouth but the words don't form.

 

"I don't know what to do," Snow whispers to her right and Red's eyes close when she feels too ashamed to keep them open. Instead she holds her arm out and Snow immediately takes the cue, wrapping her arms around the girl she thinks she knows and burying her face in Red's neck. They remain that way for hours when no one comes to retrieve them, Red's eyes finally drooping of their own accord some time around dinner due to Snow's comforting weight and warmth. She wakes up still pressed against the Princess, Snow's even breath blowing across her neck. She could like this, she thinks, this closeness with someone else, would love this easiness with Regina. But even with Snow, there's a level of intimacy she doesn't think many will be able to top in her life. Their entire relationship is based on a falsehood, but Red can't imagine a world without the future monarch anymore. Her best friend. It's more than she could have ever asked for.

 

There's a bustling in the hallway that keep Red's tired eyes from closing once again, but people are talking over each other and few seem to actually have any information to share, though they ask each other questions to which no one has answers anyway. She presses her lips against Snow's forehead at the sound of someone slowing to a halt outside her room, the Princess waking a moment later at the knock at the door. Abel enters with a bright look that immediately becomes subdued when he notes Snow's presence.

 

"Your Majesty, they've been looking for you everywhere."

 

"S'matter?" Snow asks groggily and she shifts to sit up, leaving Red with a chill she can't shake as the heat next to her leaves.

 

"I'm afraid I can't say, but you should come with me. Just you, Lady Comstock would do best to stay here while everything is sorted." Red looks at the blonde boy, trying to decipher more from his blank stare then is there to give away. Snow opens her mouth to protest but is immediately cut off. "I'm sorry, Your Grace, but I must insist that you come with me immediately."

 

"You should go, Snow," Red whispers, reaching over to squeeze her wrist. Snows blue eyes glance back at her, worry in them. "Whatever's happening... you should go, be safe."

 

"I'll send for you the moment I can," Snow says uneasily, looking at Abel for her own answers but receiving none in return just as Red had.

 

As soon as the door closes, Red snaps from her lazed position so as to walk over to her vanity, waking herself up by splashing water on her face before she looks into the small mirror. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be feeling, doesn’t know how she should be processing all of this. The only thing the commotion in the hallway could be caused by surely must be the King’s death but she doesn’t know where that–

 

“The King is dead.” She has to say it aloud before it sinks in. The crushing realization that Snow would never see her father again. Red had never even met hers and now she is dooming someone else to the same empty place that she has in her own life. Not just someone else, her best friend. Who is alone in the world now, with only–

 

“Regina.” Red stands and walks to the door with a set purpose, but although her strides remain confident and even as she makes her way through the now-desolate halls of the castle, she is anything but. The alarm has shifted judging by the change in atmosphere; the people are clearly no longer shocked, they’re scared. But Red isn’t. She has no idea if Regina’s word will remain true now that their goal has been reached. She needs to know though, needs something to come from the last few years of her life even if it’s a crushing defeat. She isn’t afraid of the battles anymore, only anxious for an outcome.

 

The guards at the end of Regina’s hallway have changed since she had been there earlier, replaced with two men dressed in a black armour that looked the same as Abel’s, who let her pass seemingly without a moment’s hesitation, without even a look in her direction. Red doesn’t care to think too much about it as she nears Regina’s door, her stomach twisting with fear, anxiety, and excitement and she opens the door without knocking. Regina is looking out the window, dressed in navy blue with gems in various shapes that sparkle in the light, making her look like the night sky. She looks pleased with herself, taking a deep breath as she stands triumphant on the other side of the room.

 

“Come here,” she murmurs softly, laughing quietly to herself and extending her hand when Red doesn’t immediately move. Red’s steps are cautious and slow, though it’s less due to her nerves than the feeling of the air leaving her lungs as she approaches, wary of the crackle of energy in the room. Of the terrifying power behind the next choice Regina makes. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, dear.”

 

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say,” Red admits with a shaky breath as she takes Regina’s warm hand in her own, unable to help the relieved smile that spreads over her lips as the Queen steps closer to her, raising Red’s chin with a single finger to lift her gaze from their joined hands. “Congratulations?”

 

Regina’s smile grows, but she doesn’t say anything for a long time, instead choosing to trail her finger delicately across Red’s jaw. “It’s done,” she says quietly, her whole hand closing in to cup her cheek. “I can’t say I really know what I feel, to be honest with you.”

 

“Happy. Tell me you’re happy,” the brunette implores as she takes her own hold of Regina’s face, eyes desperate and frantic as she searches for confirmation. She needs to hear Regina say it. “Tell me this is what you wanted… what all of this was for.”

 

“Very, very, very happy, sweet girl.” Her thumb brushes across Red’s cheekbone. “Now that you’re here to share it with me.” Regina has had her victory, it’s time for Red’s win. And so she takes it at that moment, kissing Regina hungrily upon the affirmation she receives. The Queen is just as eager, if not more so, giving into that rare bit of sloppiness in her haste that Red hasn’t felt since the first time she surprised Regina with a kiss.

 

Her fingers are once again annoyingly clumsy at the prospect of the now-widowed Queen’s new guards giving them the space they require for the night, but she’s still terrified of their time getting cut short once again. Red’s doing five things at once: kissing Regina with all the reverence she is due, loosening ebony hair from its updo, attempting to save a rather pretty navy dress while removing it hastily, running her hands across Regina’s increasingly bared skin, and trying to maintain whatever little dominance she has while she still has it. The Queen, in return, remains as cool and calm as ever as she forces Red’s kisses to a slow into a savouring pace.

 

“We have all the time in the world now,” she attempts to remind, though before long she finds her dress bunching at her hips and her hair falling down to graze the middle of her exposed back. Red is undeterred, not ceasing in her task until the velvet material is pooled on the ground and Regina relents and allows Red’s exuberance to set the pace. Exuberance and paranoia that someone would come to the door at any moment, that Regina will prove this all to be a falsehood. But she shows her own forward momentum pushing Red back until they near the bed in front of the open balcony, not that the werewolf allows her to keep the lead, using that innate strength she so rarely taps into to switch her position and force the Queen back down onto the duvet. Regina is naked and appreciative underneath her but she stops Red from sliding overtop her with a hand on the younger girl’s chest, pushing her back until Regina can sit up on the edge of the bed and reach around to pull loose the strings binding her corset.

 

“Tell me you’re happy,” Regina parrots quietly, the demand hidden beneath the purr of her voice. Red can see the sharpness in her gaze though, the genuine need to know Red’s answer as she stares up at her. Her chin comes to rest on Red’s abdomen while her hands blindly unlace the strings and Red counters by sifting her hands through Regina’s long, dark hair, an attempt to stall.

 

Because she’s not happy. Not really. She’s relieved, wary, guilty, tired, and desperate for Regina’s kiss to comfort her like her words used to. There’s an ache in her heart that she refuses to acknowledge to herself at the moment, the agony brimming under her surface for the hell Snow is surely going through across the castle, but she refuses to allow the King’s presence to obstruct her and Regina any longer.

 

“I’m happy I’m here with you,” she breathes, the truth at the most and a sidestep from it at the least. Because she is happy enough to be here; happy to allow Regina’s hands to methodically finish the laces of her corset, happy to let the Queen slip her dress past her shoulders, happy to indulge in her saviour’s hands skimming over her body as her eyes follow. Because she gets to follow overtop as Regina smiles and slides back on her featherbed. Her answer is enough to placate, enough to reassure. She wonders if the Queen even needs reassurance or if it’s unnecessary at this point. Red’s clearly hers to have.

 

She’s pliable tonight, far more willing to revel in her success and it’s a little infuriating to Red. She came in here to conquer, to prove her place in Regina’s life outside of her commands. She was the one who kissed Regina years ago, she is the one who brought them here. Regina is hers to claim by all rights, really. But there’s something about the somberness in her heart and the smugness in the raven-haired woman’s movements that causes her to withhold, to not give into Regina’s clear desire to be ravished so she can relish in her victory, to make this about themselves rather than the forces that have kept them from it.

 

So she kisses her sweetly, slamming Regina’s wrists back down to the bed when they attempt to rebel and reach out to touch Red. The Queen’s breath catches in her throat and Red can’t tell if it’s from intrigue or a result of her insolence, but she softens the blow by sliding her palms up to brush against Regina’s, locking her fingers through hers as she relaxes her body overtop. It’s a demand, but one made in the most polite way she can think of, her lips slow but full of deference as her skin slides against the other woman’s. The open room lets in the cold night air, but neither seem to notice. Red’s always felt like her is fire in her veins, the cold never bothered her. Regina seems much the same.

 

She can’t stall here, can’t savour this moment when she could lose her nerve or, worse, the upper hand if she dawdles, so she shifts her weight onto her right arm, mouth pulling and pushing against Regina’s in their gradual kisses as her hand slips down tanned skin to flit across smooth skin covering a flat stomach. The Queen is receptive to Red’s soft fingers, her skin pebbles with goosebumps in their wake and her eyelids flutter and Red has to stop kissing her because it’s too hard to not watch wine-coloured lips fall open as her hand dares to venture lower.

 

“ _Oh._ ” She sounds almost surprised as Red’s fingers slide against her heat, eyebrows drawn in and mouth agape, her nose brushing against Red’s while the younger girl watches with pointed interest, as desperate to see Regina’s reactions as Regina had been to see hers the night she stormed into Red’s bedroom. She watches that small moment of embarrassment cross over Regina’s face at such a reaction, but before she has time to steel herself to prevent another, Red surges on, deftly sliding her fingers up until Regina’s gasp turns painful and her hips jerk violently as they brush over and over against the small bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

 

She _should_ savour now, she knows that, wants to on some level, but her Queen has appeared underneath her again, beautiful and yielding and so, so, _so_ in need of Red’s help once more. She can’t drag this out, doesn’t want to, really, so she doesn’t, sliding two already sticky digits down to her entrance and pushing in until Regina’s arching her neck and whimpering so pathetically that Red feels some surge of power she’s sure must be the equivalent that Regina feels at any given moment – other than this one. In this moment she’s helpless and urging Red for faster, more, _anything_ so long as she continues, and as soon as the commands come, Red feels the need to meet them, to surpass them and prove her worth even if the Queen is beyond needing assurance. She just can’t get beyond needing _her_.

 

And Regina does now, judging by the desperation in her panting breaths and the way she clenches around Red’s fingers. “Red,” she chokes out in a whine ( _Yes_ , Red thinks as her hand starts to cramp, _Me. I’m here, I’ve done what you’ve asked without question, I’ve served you better than anyone, I’ve given up too much for you to not need this too._ ), hands digging into the girl’s flesh. “Red, Red, Red.” Her voice comes in mindless babbles and keening whimpers and crooning groans and eventually give way to rapid, shallow breathing as the younger girl digs down into the inherent strength and speed her blood gives her, face imploring Regina to give in because she needs to see it just as badly as Regina surely wants to reach it.

 

A cry that borders along the lines of distress is what ends it, forcing its way from Regina’s throat as the woman seems to all but splinter apart underneath her. Red knows the feeling. Her body is a flurry of movement; bucking hips freezing for a brief moment just to give way to a tremble that overtakes every limb. The cold air settling in the room doesn’t hit her until her wet fingers are exposed to it once again (the desperate, violent shiver Regina’s body gives as they leave is just… delicious) but Regina doesn’t seem to notice, even as her breath turns visible while she attempts to catch it, facing the open balcony as Red resituates herself. Her eyes are trained on Regina’s, which had snapped shut at some point after looking so totally lost, her gaze beseeching her unsaid words. _Tell me you needed that, tell me you need me_. Regina’s body relaxes after her fitful breaths turn even if not still loud. _Tell me I’m enough. Please tell I’m **good**. _ There’s no surrender when brown eyes open, though.

 

But, _yes_ , Red will allow the continued onslaught instead of the reaffirmation that wasn’t likely to sate her anyway. She will allow herself to be conquered and devoured as Regina’s hands pin her down with renewed exuberance, the smile on her face both wicked and wonderful as her painted lips claim Red’s once more. Regina isn’t hers after all, not really. She is Regina’s though. Her wolf, her spy, her lover. She is Regina’s to vanquish, she’s known that all along, but it doesn’t hit her until her shuddering sob gives way to a climax, and when she rejoins the cognizant world the revelation makes Regina’s expression seem darker than before. She doesn’t let it in though. Tonight is a night for Regina’s victory and for her win and she’s blocked out more on worse nights.

 

* * *

 

Though there probably aren’t many people who do like them, Red _hates_ funerals. Hates the overt pain and grief from so many people when it feels like it’s radiating off of each person in the room. The party is small inside the castle, the man from Agrabah still hasn’t been caught after all, and half the kingdom had shown up to pay their respects as the casket was carried from the chapel to the castle, the whole city silent and somber. Red stands back from the royal party as much she can, finding no peace in Abel’s presence as they eventually find themselves silently agreeing to escort one another if only to reasonably avoid everyone else. Still, there’s little comfort in their unexplained distance, there hasn’t been since he walked out on her and Regina at the turn of the year.

 

Eventually all but Snow and Regina are left in the room with the casket and Red returns to her chambers, finding herself nearly ripping off her mourning clothes until she’s left in the black corset and shift, pacing around her room with an itch to scratch that she can’t quite place. She wants to cry. Not for the King – never for that man, but for… for someone. For Snow, for Regina, for herself. The pressure is there, as if she’s been walking along a cliff all week, glancing down every once in awhile but never quite taking the plunge. She wants to but something about allowing herself to shed tears over the situation makes her feel dirty, as if it wasn’t her place to do so or out of line when she had helped all of this along.

 

Snow shows up, she was bound to eventually. She had called upon Red the morning after her father’s death, but by the time Red had returned to her room, half the day had gone by and Snow was in the midst of councils and meetings and grieving. She’s still dressed in her full attire though, tearing at the veil in her hair the moment the door closes behind her. The Princess takes in a shuddering breath and glances around before wiping at a stray tear.

 

“Do you have something I could change into?” she asks hoarsely and Red doesn’t hesitate before rushing to her wardrobe, pulling out a slip that was meant to ride shorter on her and would do for the other girl. She helps Snow out of her dress, feeling weirdly calm about the return to their former routine as she helps her redress. Standing there, barefoot and in only a green slip with her eyes tired and wet, she looks so small, so young. Red sometimes forgets there’s only a few months between them. She wonders if she looks small and tired too. She wonders if she still looks young because she doesn’t feel it. “She was so nice to me, Ruby. So sweet. It was like I was seeing her for the first time in… in so long, but...”

 

Red folds the Princess’ dress and drapes everything over a chair, rubbing her eyes as she tries to find something to say. The crackling from the fireplace fills the room, a pleasant distraction from her unspoken words. Her cloak catches her attention out of the corner of her eye and something about the reminder of her life fills her with such a deep sense of self-loathing she can barely breathe.

 

“I tried to find you that morning… it was so early, I thought for sure you’d be in your room. You weren’t though.” Her voice breaks and Red is forced to turn around, she has to watch Snow crumble because she had a turn in cracking her foundation. She looks more betrayed than sad and it makes Red jump off that cliff she had been on.

 

“I’m sorry, Snow. I’m so sorry.” The tears fall and her heart feels like it’s stuck in her throat, but Snow is forgiving, too forgiving, gathering Red up in her arms as if she is the one who just lost a parent. Snow’s tears burn against her shoulder as they seep through the fabric of her clothing and Red thinks that maybe, even if this makes her an even more terrible person by taking comfort in the victim she created, they can support each other, at least here, hidden away from the Queen and the court.

  

* * *

  

“Snow tells me you’re to take a stroll in the woods this afternoon.”

 

Her chest seems to tighten and she immediately feels lightheaded, though some part of her takes some sort of pride in knowing that her instincts are at least spot on. The shifter had known the moment she was called into the Queen’s chambers that this meeting would be disastrous, though she had been waiting for this all week. Expecting it. She knew the second the guards began to lax on their rules about Snow and Regina coming and going unescorted, after the threat of the Agrabahian had died down, that Regina would have use for her at least once more.

 

“Just so, Your Majesty.” She doesn’t recognize the hollowness in her own voice. Surely Regina won’t… no. She’ll just tell her to… convince Snow to run–

 

“Then we have our chance. To end this once and for all.” She looks so pleased, dressed in dark red velvet and framed in long, ebony locks. So terrifyingly beautiful that Red can’t help as her breath gets caught in her throat as her silky smooth hands slide up to rest on either side of her neck, making her heart race and beat against the palms resting against her pulse.

 

“Regina,” she whispers.

 

“Just one more thing. That’s all.” Cooed in her ear like some sweet sonnet, Red closes her eyes when warm lips press against her jaw. “One more thing from my wolf and our lives can begin.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Surely if her eyes were open she would see the displeasure on Regina’s face but she can feel it fine as rounded nails press against her skin in a moment of agitation, a passive threat that probably isn’t even intentional. “I understand that you’ve grown fond of the girl, years with so few else to talk to will do that, believe me, I know.” The nails again, poised and ready as Regina’s voice drops in tone. “But do not forget what a monster she is, Red. She’s the reason I’m miserable.”

 

“But you’re not anymore,” Red insists, hazel eyes flying open to force her point. “You’re free of the King, she will take over as queen when she is wed or whenever you step down, and we can stop this.”

 

“And what will that solve? What lesson will that teach her?” Commanding and vicious, a whisper so akin to the hiss of the vipers in the box Red carried that the girl shudders in remembrance. “She must suffer as I did. I want her heart.”

 

“Her heart?” Red croaks in disbelief, feeling her own tighten at the thought. She remembers Regina’s brief mentions of her mother, the terrible woman who could steal someone’s heart and crush it to dust with her bare hand. But Red doesn’t even have the luxury of magic. All she has is wolf blood and her own two hands. “I-I can’t. Regina, please, you _promised_ you would never–”

 

“You can and shall do so without questioning me again, Red.” The nails dig in then. “You’ve sworn your loyalty to me a hundred times–”

 

“And proven it a hundred and one–”

 

Her jaw is grabbed, the smoldering brown eyes in front of her like a burning log in the flames. Red chokes on a sob but Regina continues. “As I have to you. Don’t forget that you owe me your life, your name, and your friendship with her.”

 

“She’s just a girl, Regina.”

 

“As you are just a girl?” The Queen asks fiercely and Red closes her eyes in return, the hold on her face vanishing as Regina turns to stand at her balcony, surely glowing in the morning sun that peaks over the shadows. It’s the beginning of an idyllic day in the Enchanted Forest. “You will bring me her heart, Red. Or suffer the consequences.”

 

* * *

 

Snow’s out of her mourning clothes already, insisting her father wouldn’t want her to wallow in grief for a moment longer than she felt she had to. The Princess is pragmatic like that, nothing seems to keep her down for long. Red’s wearing a familiar dress too as she walks through the woods, her cape tied around her shoulders, whether as a measure of comfort or a form of letting go of that Red who was adored by Peter so long ago, she doesn’t know. But she feels like she can’t do this without the garment, feels like it has to be there to witness her turning into a monster, no longer responsible for keeping that part of her in check.

 

Snow doesn’t comment on her silence though she doesn’t look all that perturbed by it either. She seems lost in thought herself. So much so that she makes no mention of the knife hanging from her handmaiden’s belt.

 

“I don’t think the Queen shall let me live at the castle much longer,” she says quietly out of nowhere, her voice not sad or resigned, just factual. Part of Red is desperate to know why Snow just accepts this from Regina, why she holds so little resentment towards the woman she clearly knows doesn’t love her as she says she does. It seems cowardly, years ago she would have resolutely thought it was, but Red knows it’s more courageous than anything she can imagine. To put a smile on when you can barely face the world. She takes a sharp breath. “I don’t know what… what’s going to happen, I have no idea who I can even turn to, Ruby–”

 

“That’s not my name.” Snow stops walking immediately at the sound of Red’s empty voice, though the werewolf takes a few more steps, if only to keep the Princess out of her peripheral vision until she finishes her sentence, not feeling courageous in the least as she speaks but doing Snow the courtesy of stopping and looking in her direction when she’s done. She owes her that much. She owes her so much more. “It’s not Ruby, it’s just… it’s Red.”

 

Red keeps her eyes trained on Snow’s neck, but she can see the disbelief wash over her face, looking as if her heart is breaking in her chest. Red takes another sharp breath but she manages to keep her gaze on the girl despite her desperate wish to look away, the gold bracelet on her wrist clicking against the metal handle of the hunting knife, the bangle now feeling like a collar rather than a gift. “No,” Snow whispers, begs, cries – some horrifying combination of all three. “No. No, no, no, no… not _you_ …”

 

Snow had known it was coming, that clever, tragic girl. Realistic to a fault but apparently still blind to Ruby’s charms. Red can feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she has to look off into the forest then, unable to watch the other girl’s face turn from incredulity to a distraught expression when Red doesn’t refute the charge, a picture that she knows will be burned into her mind until the day she dies. “Everything was a lie.”

 

“Not everything,” she whispers, begs, cries.

 

“She put you in my life to spy on me?”

 

“She saved my life,” she tries in desperation, feeling lightheaded as guilt tightens around her heart, squeezing until she’s sure she’s going to die. But she can’t, not yet. She has a mission to complete and there’s a knife at her hip reminding her of that. “I owe her everything.”

 

“Ruby–”

 

“Red.” Her hand twitches to move to the knife, but she’s cut off herself.

 

“I loved you,” she sobs in retaliation and Red’s arm once more falls listlessly to her side, taking in her own shuddering breath. “You’re my best friend – my _only_ friend. All I have left. Why did she have to pick you? Anyone else…” Her voice gives way and the Princess is wiping away royal tears. She knows exactly why Regina picked Red to kill her but still she pleads. “Not you.”

 

Red closes her eyes as the forest quiets around them, the sun warm and beating down on her as they stand on the rich, dark soil of the forest. There’s a family of deer nearby, the two girls’ fight having been a quiet battle going unnoticed by the wildlife as they meander through the ancient trees. When she opens her eyes again Snow is still standing there, surrendering as if her dress is acting as her white flag. She won’t fight Red. Red wishes she would. She grasps the hilt of her knife, pulling it free from its holder but letting her hand drop once again. A stag would do.

 

“Run,” she whispers quietly, as if the trees themselves were listening to them. Snow shakes her head and Red almost feels like slapping her. “Run away and don’t look back, Snow.”

 

“She will kill you.”

 

“I need you to run.” It’s a plea this time and she steps closer to Snow, closing the gap between them. The ebony-haired girl doesn’t flinch but she doesn’t move either, as if rooted on spot. She leans in though, as Red nears, her eyes a bright green in the afternoon light. “Please don’t make me take your heart. I can’t… you have to leave. She won’t stop. You know she won’t.”

 

“Come with me,” Snow whispers urgently. “You must. Think of what we could do together, Red, you and I. Just us. We could run far away from her, go west, find a place for just the two of–” She stops when Red freezes, her expression having turned horrified, and Snow turns to watch as Abel appears amongst the trees.

 

“The Queen sent me to see to the body,” he says plainly as he approaches, face hardened and grave. Red steps up to Snow’s side, brushing her shoulder over the other girl’s to keep her back just the slightest. Not defensively, as she hopes Abel sees. He doesn’t seem to care though. “Do you need me to take care of the Princess?”

 

“Abel–”

 

“Have you told her?” Abel asks harshly, more emotion in his voice than she’s ever heard before. It’s terrifying. More chilling than anything she’s ever witnessed and it has her arm lifting, if only a little, to put anything between the blonde and Snow. “That you’re the Queen’s pet?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“That you’re her bedmate as well?”

 

Red winces because judging by the small, sharp gasp from the girl at her side, Snow hadn’t put those pieces together, hadn’t considered such a thing. Abel had though, Red could see that twisting hate in his eyes. Is that how the Queen had gotten him? Using his infatuation with Red against her? She knows the answer already.

 

“Snow,” she says quietly as the boy approaches, green eyes set to an icy glare, “you need to run.”

 

“The Queen has asked for her heart,” Abel counters, hand reaching for the sword at his belt. He makes it one more step before Red springs from Snow’s side, the knife in her hand dropping to the ground in favour of grabbing his wrist to stop his movement. Abel is smart though, he has trained with her, trained _alone_ , he knows her too well and knows himself even better. She catches his arm but her twists hers back in response and doesn’t release until Red manages to get close enough to to snap her neck and smash her forehead into his nose. Still, the trained knight is only undeterred for the briefest moment, his brute force and sturdy position underestimated by the werewolf because before she can blink his foot is sweeping under her leg and she finds herself on her back, his forearm bearing down on her chest. She looks for the boy who escorted her through the streets of the city but she can’t find him in the foreign green eyes above her own.

 

His weight is suffocating, his face a terrifying blank mask until the moment it twists in agony. Snow, that foolhardy girl, that courageous Princess, drives the knife into the boy’s back but before he can turn to look at his attacker Red’s hands have found his jaw and they twist it roughly. And just like that Abel is no more than Peter, no more than Kane, no more than the woodworker’s apprentice, no more than the King. He is dead and Snow looks horrified but before she can process it, Red is on her feet with Snow’s face in her hands.

 

“Go now. Run as fast as you can.” Snow’s mouth opens but her words die on her tongue as Red leans her forehead against the younger girl’s, pleading and desperate to keep her bright eyes on her own and not on the corpse of the dead boy. “I’ll buy you as much time as I can but she’ll send more soon if I don’t return now. Please run, please let me give your best chance to live.”

 

“I need you,” she whispers back just as urgently, though her tears have stopped falling from her blue-green eyes. Her own hands come up to wrap around Red’s neck, and the taller girl can’t help but allow it even in her urgency. She’s going to miss Snow but it hurts to know that even now, after her sins have been confessed, Snow is going to miss her just as much. Maybe more. “I can’t possibly last… survive. Not alone.” Red wants to give in, to grab the girl’s wrist and start running west, until they could run no more. But they wouldn’t make it far, the Queen wouldn’t let them. “I can’t leave you with her, Ru… Red. I can’t. You’re all I have left, I can’t lose you too.”

 

Red closes her eyes and finds herself running her hand down Snow’s arm and up to one of the hands at her neck, opening them once more when her heartbeat has evened out. Snow is alright, she can breathe. “Stay along the river, out of sight. I have to go back to her – _have_ to,” she insists when Snow’s mouth opens to protest. “If… if I can, I will come, Snow, I will find you, I promise.”

 

“Be safe,” the Princess whispers in return, her voice hoarse and eyes wet.

 

“Run fast,” she replies, allowing one more lingering hug before she’s urging Snow off in the direction of rushing water and turning to the body of her former friend.

 

* * *

  

"You're back." The Queen looks relieved, dark hair piled up tight at the back of her head, brown eyes a familiar warm as she stands in an ostentatious black gown, looking dark and terrifying and lovely. Red feels her heart drop at the sight because, Gods, wouldn't this be so much easier if the Queen hated her as she hates Snow? If Red could hate Regina like she should, like her grandmother had all but told her to with her eyes that morning Red visited her. The satchel at her waist feels heavy, her hands still stained red with blood. Granny had paid them no mind when Red had shown up fresh from the forest, telling her to leave, to hide. Unlike Snow, she had listened without question, though Red had received a hug from her as well. The castle had seemed somber and quiet when she returned to it, as if the hallways themselves already feel the loss of the Princess. Red had walked through them undisturbed, bloodied hands and all, not a soul to be seen other than the faceless knights dressed in black that had overtaken the Palace guard. "You were successful?"

 

Red's gaze remains distant, her tongue heavy and useless as she holds the bag up without word. The older woman lights up at the confirmation she chooses to accept, stepping towards Red and kissing as sweetly and softly as she ever had. A show of gratitude and fondness that makes Red's stomach turn, but she kisses back fiercely despite herself. This very well could be her last chance to kiss the Regina she knew. The Queen smiles against her mouth at the surge, pulling away to take the bag.

 

"My sweet wolf," she murmurs, knuckles caressing her cheek briefly before she turns and walks into her closet, a carved box sitting on a podium, in wait of the contents it was made for. Red's eyes drop to the floor and she takes a ragged breath, steeling herself as she waits. The glow from the heart is immediate when the Queen pulls it from the satchel, but so is the sorceress' anger as she looks at the organ in her hand, voice a dangerous hiss as she turns on point, skirts rustling at the movement. "What is this? It can't possibly be Snow White's heart."

 

She's in front of Red in an instant, grabbing the young girl's chin and forcing it up to meet her furious gaze. Red looks at the item in question, at the black swirling around the red. No, it can't possibly be Snow's heart. She wonders what hers looks like, if it's as poisoned as the one in front of her eyes. "Whose heart is this, Red?"

 

"Abel's." The slap across her cheek echoes in the quiet room, her face surely turning to the same shade as the hood she wore. Her hand must hurt. Red hopes it doesn't.

 

"You insolent little bitch." Her sweet wolf no more, it would seem. She wants to hate the Queen, for putting her in this position, for taking away her life as quickly as she had given it back to her at that trial. She can't though, no matter how much she wills herself to. The slap hurt and the words even more. She wants to be her sweet wolf again, her only confidant, the girl who made her smile like no one else. But the royal party is all fire now, an inferno seething with rage that has no intention on letting the rain quell. "You're choosing her over me–"

 

"No–"

 

"Then what is this?" She spits back harshly, forcing the black tinted heart into the werewolf's face. Abel had been so sweet, how his heart became so dark terrifies her. He was just following the Queen's orders as she was. "You swore your loyalty to me."

 

"I meant it–"

 

"You disobeyed me." Her voice doesn't rise but it still manages to come out like a roar and Red shrinks back at the statement. The heart is thrown back in the bag and the bag tossed aside, the Queen practically snarling, eyes wild with anger and pain. "You let that monster go."

 

"You would have regretted it. Killing her. I know you would have, I just know–"

 

It doesn't hurt as much as she had assumed it would. There's pain, undoubtedly, a squeezing pressure that robs her lungs of air and nearly has her doubling over, but that all takes a second place to Red's attempt to look at the Queen's face while her hand is in her chest, the young girl’s jaw open as she gasps loudly at the suffocating ache. Red watches the raven-haired woman's anger give way to something else as their eyes meet, not quite disappearing but toned down and muddled. The brunette hopes it isn't her own delusion telling her there's sadness there, anguish and pain.

 

She’s thrown back onto the stone floor before she can sort the thought out, heart beating strongly under her breast while the monarch towers over her empty-handed. Red can see the woman trying to mask her face into something menacing and angry, but all that’s there is misery and betrayal. Night has fallen, casting them in shadows from the fireplace as they stare at each other, while Red breathes in roughly and wonders if the Queen is flashing back to the day they met as well. The monster on the floor and her saviour standing above her.

 

“Leave.” Her voice has dropped its simmering rage, leaving her tone hollow and daunting. Red can feel her throat tighten at the command, at the inflection, at the expression that’s being cast down on her. Where was her saviour? “And know that this is the last kindness I will ever show you.”

 

“Regina,” she starts to whisper, voice shaking.

 

“Your Majesty,” the Queen snaps back immediately, commanding and regal once again. “Now get out of my kingdom.” Those are the last words the woman says to her before she turns away from the girl on the floor and walks over to her balcony, a shadow against the night sky. Red rises from the floor, heart aching and head dizzy. She stares at the back of the Queen’s head waiting for Regina to turn around, but she doesn’t. Regina left this room the moment Red handed over the false heart. She leaves, but not before sliding the gold bracelet off her wrist and setting it down on the woman’s vanity, looking back one last time before she runs to find Snow.


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [thegirl20](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20).

“What do you want?”

 

She can hear the hushed gasps of the people surrounding her in the town hall as many of them start to rise from their hunched positions, their murmurs audible over the crackling fire that has taken over Storybrooke’s town emblem. Granny almost says her name, the ‘r’ on the tip of her tongue but she stops herself as Ruby steps into Regina’s path, earning the former queen’s gaze while everyone else holds their breath. No one says or does anything and for a beat the waitress can forget they’re there.

 

Because Regina is looking at her again.

 

Her expression is a mixture of too many things for Ruby to catch in their brief second away from the world, though a terrifying look of satisfaction is easily high on the list. Second being disdain for the crowd, with the bronze going to a brimming impatience. Whatever it is, it has the waitress taking an annoyingly audible breath and wishing things were different again, wishing she had sought Regina out before she made the spectacle she was undoubtedly going to make.

 

“Me.” Ruby really has nearly forgotten there were people in the room with them, let alone Regina’s son, who steps forward and begs for her to take him and leave the citizens be. Someone behind her sucks in a breath and others visibly tense as Henry approaches Regina and vice versa, but Ruby feels her shoulders droop and the tension release from her body as she watches the raven-haired woman’s mask melt for a brief moment, love, relief, and pride on her face as she takes her son’s chin.

 

“That’s my boy.”

 

She leaves without a glance in Ruby’s direction, but she doesn’t seem to avoid anyone else’s gaze as her hand drapes over Henry’s shoulders. The town hall erupts and nothing she can say will calm anyone down so she bolts from the doors without a second to spare with Granny’s assurances that she would do what she could, watching as Henry and Regina take off in one direction and sprinting in the opposite to find David. The day proves exhausting, the desperation to save the people of Storybrooke from themselves and the agony of not knowing what was happening with Henry and Regina, hidden away in their manor, weighing on her.

 

She hates feeling relieved when she watches Henry and David walk into the diner later that day, hates that she’s at all worried about the well-being of the boy when he was only going home with his mother. Regina hasn’t been the Evil Queen for years, she loves Henry with all her heart, Ruby knows all of this. But that look she had at the town hall, that intoxication she seemed to be under by the rediscovery of her magic. It was that terrifying woman Red had parted with.

 

Granny doesn’t ask her any questions when Ruby tells her she’s leaving, having taken David and Henry’s drink orders with a smile she has to force. She gives her granddaughter a look similar to one she had received when she was sixteen and promised the world by a queen. Ruby’s feet take her on a path she’s never walked before yesterday, almost three decades had gone by without her stepping onto Regina’s street and now she finds herself standing at the walkway leading up to her house for the second time in a few short days. She hesitates there, biting her lip and wishing the surge of modern-day-Ruby confidence hadn’t died out so quickly in the wake of young Red’s memories. They twist inside her head, trying to find their place amongst the girl’s new life.

 

Red had spent nearly ten years trying to sort out her feelings for Regina before the curse took place, and had come up with nothing. Had watched the woman be readied for execution with a defiant face, if only to show Snow she could do so for her, that she could repay the debt between them regarding the woman with compliance. Snow was merciful though, she was too good a person to watch Regina die in such a way and so it was stopped and Red had found her breath again. She can remember the look Regina sent her as she was being dragged off, that sneer of absolute victory over Snow’s pure little conscience once again. Red had practically been able to hear the words in her head as the woman stalked by with the guards.

 

It had been the biggest relief in her life when Snow halted the arrows flying at the Queen. Ruby stares at the door of the house, her twenty-first century mentality chastising her heart for daring to think about Regina again after all she had put her through. Becoming some sad victim of abuse crawling back to the person who treated her so poorly. But even with all the anger brimming inside her, all the sadness and regret, even when trying to ignore something as debasing as just some pathetic attraction… Ruby had wanted Regina before the curse broke, had spent countless nights in the shower with a hand between her legs thinking about just how nice Madam Mayor’s ass was. Red wanted Regina, had spent a decade fighting her and still dreamt about her at night, even when she became erased by a curse. Ruby wants Regina now, knowing everything she has done. And at one point, even if it was just for a minute of time weighed down by manipulations and deceit, Regina wanted her, too.

 

The door to the great house opens and Regina is standing there, dressed in black and looking stunning as she always does. The mayor hesitates, opening her mouth to say something before looking down at her front porch, words dying on her tongue. She sets her jaw and turns back around to walk into her house, but the door remains open. Ruby doesn’t falter as she joins her, closing the door behind her as she steps in.

 

Regina’s in the kitchen, standing at the island with a glass of brown liquid in front of her that she’s staring at but hasn’t seemed to touch. Ruby glances around the home as she enters, the warmth of the sunny day outside leaving it untouched and cold despite it all. The chill doesn’t have to be there, she notes, probably isn’t when the woman’s son was in the halls.

 

“He’s with Dav–”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then why are you here?” Regina asks sharply, leaning on both hands as she stares down at the slab of marble that holds her untouched drink. Scotch, Ruby thinks as she picks up on the scent. Red’s innate instincts kicking in have been dizzying to get under control again; her sense of smell, her sight, her hearing, it’s all heightened by the wolf again and the girl shivers at the thought of the impending full moon. It’s Old Ruby though, the one who existed in Storybrooke for twenty-eight years, whose expertise it takes to place the drink as Glenlivet. She had a few talents of her own, that Ruby Lucas.

 

“Don’t do that,” she hisses back immediately, stalking into the room with the lupine grace and presence, mirroring the raven-haired woman’s position as she stands kitty-corner to her. “Don’t act as if I haven’t earned the right to get answers–”

 

“Earned the right?” Regina fires incredulously, lifting her gaze to meet Ruby’s with furious brown eyes. Ruby recognizes that look from one-too-many days on the battlelines. “And what have you done to _earn_ anything from me?”

 

“Do you want an itemized list? Because I’m sure I can come up with a few reasons off the top of my head.”

 

Regina glares but doesn’t respond before taking a drink. “And what could you possibly need answers for? If you recall, everything you did was on your own free will. No matter what my influence was.”

 

“Oh, please–”

 

“Don’t put your guilty conscience at my feet just because you ended up loving the stupid brat–”

 

Ruby’s hands curl around the edge of the counter, bristling despite herself. She hates how easy it is for Regina to get under her skin, even after all of this time. “I’m not talking about Snow.” Ebony eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Kane.” She watches Regina search for a moment before the recognition dawns on her. “He was…”

 

The mayor lets out an irritable sigh, looking down at her glass once more. “Under a spell.”

 

“Just to put me more under your thumb than I already was?”

 

Regina’s jaw works back and forth and Ruby watches with idle interest, head aching. “I needed to make sure I had enough to hold you and enough to keep you wanting me to.”

 

“And what the hell else did that entail?” The details are blurry, twenty-eight years of false memories and another decade of those on the run with Snow would do that. But Kane, she can’t forget him. That nice man whose children she had to watch grow up at the castle without a father. Whose life she had taken. _Butchered. Vicious. Just like you did with Peter._ She feels her heart angrily smash against her ribs at the remembrance of Regina’s words. She had been such an easy target for the woman, hadn’t she?

 

“The men who attacked Snow, too. After… after the tourney her father threw.” Regina adds, her face a shade more contrite than before. She runs her hand through her dark hair a few times, a nervous habit that seems out of place at this particular point in the conversation. “The night you first… transformed in front of her.”

 

“Regina–”

 

“I hadn’t counted on the two of you splitting up,” she responds immediately.

 

Ruby is just as quick with her reply. “They could have done anything to her.”

 

“They were under strict orders–”

 

“ _Anything_.”

 

“Strict orders,” Regina repeats, her face as defensive as Ruby’s ever seen it. Apparently even this had crossed a line for the woman who had every intention of finishing off the girl anyway; she surely wouldn’t be so quick to evade the unsaid accusations thrown her way otherwise. “She was still a child. I wasn’t a monster.”

 

“You manipulated me into killing _multiple_ people before I had even turned eighteen.” The reply isn’t something Ruby has actually consciously thought about, but the idea of Regina trying to claim some defense on the preciousness of youth made something inside her snap. Still, she has to drop her own gaze then at her own accusation because it seems more horrifying in retrospect than it had felt in the other world.

 

“It was another land.”

 

“...It was,” Ruby agrees quietly, unable to deny that very solid fact. Their world, their morals, everything had been so vastly different. Children wielding swords, fighting in battles, killing, it was all different in a land where you stopped being a child the moment you were old enough to marry and pass on heirs. Where people were brought up from a young age with weapons in their hands, the need to kill and butcher their own dinner, to protect themselves and their families in brutal ways. They had been desensitized to so many things this modern world found abhorrent, there really was no comparison. “That doesn’t make it… what you did–”

 

“I know.”

 

Ruby feels the air leave her lungs and her lower lip shake for a moment, her own defensiveness leaving her for a moment when Regina uses a tone so understanding, even if it’s not a show of defeat. It’s as much vulnerability as she’ll allow for the moment and it’s far more than the young woman had been expecting when she walked through the door.

 

“Rumple helped you find me. When I was on trial.” A curt nod is her reply. “That night with Snow in the woods – he was the one who warned me, you know. That I had to go back to her.” She didn’t know judging by the look Ruby receives, the way the woman’s hand tightens around her drink. “He was the trader who brought me the vipers too. He laid it on pretty thick when it came to... taking part in all of it. Guess it worked.”

 

“Miserable fucking imp,” Regina mutters, eyes flashing with a fury that seems to be magic. She doesn’t like surprises, even ones that are four decades old. Ruby decides to take a little pity on her.

 

“You said letting me leave was the last kindness you’d ever show me, but I’m living in this world with Granny with a job I like and my friends all around me.” The former queen sighs, glancing away. Ruby allows the moment to stretch before persisting quietly, “I was really happy here, Regina. Why were you so nice to me?” She’s still looking away and Ruby's voice deceitfully wavers before she can control it when she continues, “I was so… so in love with you.”

 

Regina’s eyes close and her mouth purses. “I know.”

 

The brunette wraps her arms around herself as the coldness in the house starts to set in, chilling her to the bone as she stares at the woman who refuses to look back. She looks so tiny in this land, without her opulent dresses and commanding, regal voice. Ruby doesn’t know if she prefers it or not, really.

 

“Did you ever… even for a minute–” She cuts herself off, hating the pleading intonation. Hating even more that she has to ask, but she doesn’t know. Red had spent nearly ten years trying to find the answer to the question Ruby cut off, and in all that time she had never been able to come to it on her own. Regina is quiet for a long time, a few minutes pass in total silence but Ruby doesn’t move, doesn’t budge. She needs to know.

 

“I like to think I did.” Her voice is smaller than Ruby’s ever heard, no longer defensive, no longer angry. She sounds sad, plaintive. Tired. It makes Ruby’s heart beat a little faster at the glimmer of hope as Regina stares down at her countertop, knowing the woman’s defenses were down. Knowing that she wanted to love Red, even if she couldn’t. “You were the only one who… the only I could...”

 

She grants herself the right to be sad as well now, to tap into that well of despair Red had felt when the woman she knew turned around and reached into her chest. The hardened Red that watched Regina nearly get executed would be mad at such a move, to give in after so many years of trying to get over. But she was Regina’s sweet wolf once.

 

“Why wasn’t it enough?” _Why wasn’t I enough?_

 

“I don’t know.” Her voice is forceful again, as if it was a question she has been asked a hundred times. Maybe she asked herself.

 

“You were happy when you were with me–”

 

“I was.”

 

“Even if you were using me, I know you–”

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Then why wasn’t it enough?” She demands again, voice booming after their quiet confrontation, stepping closer to Regina. She’s within reaching distance now, so close Ruby can smell the faint scent of the perfume the woman applied this morning. Old Ruby had always loved that smell but she had never worked up the courage to ask what it was.

 

“Because I hated her more than I could have loved anyone,” Regina retorts dejectedly, looking as if she hates to admit it to even herself and meeting Ruby’s eyes for a brief moment before dropping her own again. She takes a breath and turns to look away, her hands curling and uncurling once before she leans on her palms once more, caging herself from Ruby she she drops her head.

 

“Except Henry.”

 

She looks back up, seeming surprised and unguarded as her face twists into a repentant expression. “Except my son.”

 

“And what if someone had done to Henry what you did to me? To Sn–”

 

“They’re already doing it!” Regina snaps, face a mask that’s a mixture of the Evil Queen and Madam Mayor. It was terrifying how easy it was for the woman to revert. “They’re pitting him against me–”

 

“Because you’re pitting everyone against yourself.” She isn’t as bombastic as Regina, only firm while trying to be sympathetic. A mixture of the pragmatic Ruby she was and the young girl who had fallen in love with a queen so long ago. Red has to give way to Ruby though. She’s been Ruby for just as long, it’s her world now, and Red is tired of holding onto all the things she never got to say. “You’re pathetic.”

 

Regina’s nostrils flare and her fingers curl. “Excuse me?”

 

“A fucking _coward_.” It annoys that she can’t control these emotions, that she’s as unrestrained as the woman in front of her, but each one demands to be addressed and she’s past the point of trying to reign them in. They’d just woken up from a thirty year nap, after all. “I loved you and I made you happy but you wouldn’t let that be enough.”

 

“You didn’t even know me, you pathetic little girl.” _You insolent little bitch_. She wonders if Regina remembers those words with the startling clarity she does. The raven-haired woman stands straight for the first time since Ruby walked in the door, squaring her shoulders and dropping her tone to the commanding one the people of Storybrooke knew only too well. “I should have let that pitiful little town do away with you, just pushed the brat off a balcony and have been done with it.”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Regina seethes in front of her but Ruby keeps pushing. “Because you’re a _coward_. You hide behind magic, behind mayoral desks, and crowns, because you’re just a pathetic little girl yourself. One who had to lie and manipulate to get others to try to do what you couldn’t bring yourself to.”

 

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

 

“She told me once that her friends call her Regina but I have no clue what friends she was talking about.”

 

She’s more quick this time around, her instincts are there, she has been trained, and most importantly, she’s not ready to sit there and take it like she had been the last time, catching Regina’s wrist before the slap can land this time. The woman in question glowers at the impertinence and tries to tug her wrist free forcefully, but Ruby doesn’t relent until Regina opens her mouth to snap at her once more. She drops the mayor’s arm and side-steps around the corner of the island, grabbing Regina’s face and kissing her forcefully.

 

And all at once it’s like she’s home again, like she’s that seventeen year-old girl who surprised a queen with a kiss and carried on an illicit affair until the moment it was bound to break her. She’s not quite as fragile in this world though, she’s demanding because she can be, because she’s not that little girl who was under Regina’s thumb for so long. She feels like an equal now, like her stature can finally be put to good use, commanding Regina with her height and strength when years ago it seemed as if the ebony-haired woman would forever be grandiose and so, so above her.

 

Regina is just as urgent with her response, deft hands tangling in Ruby’s streaked hair and curving around the back of her neck, her lips bruising as they push and pull against the werewolf’s. And, again, Ruby is infuriated at the response, annoyed and frustrated that the former queen could be so desperate and needy when she was the one who banished Red from her sight, who couldn’t let them be happy, who spent twenty-eight years treating Ruby with the same icy demeanor she used for everyone else. How dare she be so audacious as to act as if she has spent years obsessing over this feeling as well? She pulls away, acid on her tongue as she prepares to level Regina with a final parting word of how pathetic she was to give up on something she clearly wanted so much, but Regina beats her to it.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers in a tight voice, eyes closed and her hold on Ruby still very much in place. Ruby feels her words die on her lips as Regina lets out something akin to a sob, but one so faint she’s not quite sure if it’s real. “I’m so sorry, Red.”

 

What was she supposed to do now? Ruby had come into the house with every intention of getting her answers, laying into Regina, and proving she wasn’t about to be controlled once more by this woman. Red has other intentions, it would seem, judging by the tingling in her lips from the kiss she just shared. That young Red who had the name Ruby first. And Regina looks so tragically beautiful, just as stunning as the day Ruby met her, even when her face is contorted into a look of agony.

 

“How much of it did you plan?”

 

“Not this. I swear. Not…” _Us._

 

Ruby chooses to believe her, allows her shoulders to slump because Regina’s have and if she’s willing to let the guard fall, Ruby has to let hers. Her hands soften their hold on Regina but don’t let go and she lets her head drop to the shorter woman’s, allowing them both to breathe for a moment, eyes closed and blocking out the world outside the door like they had done so many times before. Ruby believes her because it must be true, no matter how many manipulations had been planted to subvert her dependence on anyone other than Regina herself, no matter how many years of doubt were yelling at her not to trust this woman. Red had kissed the Queen after all. Had seen her come undone for a brief moment that was too real to be calculated.

 

“What am I supposed to do now?”

 

“I don’t know, Red.”

 

Ruby pushes off from her then turns around to allow herself some distance. There were still a hundred questions in her head, many seeming trite, many desperate for a legitimate answer.

 

“Why me?” she asks, staring at the painted wall.

 

Behind her Regina takes a breath, voice even when she responds. “I asked him to find me someone around her age to keep her in check. We were in the midlands already and he said there was a young girl on trial for killing her boyfriend because of a curse.” There’s a deep exhale of breath. “I didn’t expect to… take a liking to you – I had never thought about… any woman like that, no matter how beautiful they were. I didn’t think you’d betray me. Which was just fucking ridiculous because that’s all I expect from anyone. It’s all I get from them.”

 

Setting her jaw, the shifter turns but doesn’t look back to her. “You sent Graham to kill us.” Regina nods but says nothing. “Did you kill him?” Another terse nod. “What the hell is your problem, Regina?”

 

“He was another in a long line of people who betrayed me for that pathetic little family,” she snaps, though there’s little fight in her voice, no matter how much she bares her teeth to seem intimidating.

 

“You can’t brush this off with other world morality–”

 

“And why the hell can’t I? We’re still from that other world–”

 

“You destroyed that excuse when you took away our lives and brought us to this world.”

 

Regina glares once more, pushing off from the counter and stepping past Ruby as she leaves the kitchen. Done fighting, it would seem. Maybe just done owning up to things for the day. Ruby doesn’t allow her the easy exit she’s craving, grabbing her wrist once more and yanking her to a halt.

 

“Quit running away from me.”

 

“Then quit asking questions you already know the answers to just to ease your goddamn conscience,” she fires back, standing straight and looking intimidating once more. “I’m well aware of the things I’ve done and I’m not going to sit here and apologize to you for each of them.”

 

Ruby drops her hold and lets out a breath, knowing there’s some truth to the woman’s words. She doesn’t know what validation she was expecting when she walked into the Regina’s house, there’s a nagging part of her insisting it was to prove she was over Regina, over the hold she once had on her, but she knows that’s not true. The woman had reached into her chest with every intention of ripping her heart out, but here she was still thinking how beautiful the former queen was.

 

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do, Regina,” she whispers.

 

Regina stares at her, looking as if she's having a similar internal debate. “I’ve given you apologies, I’ve given you answers. What else do you want?”

 

“I want that woman who saved me from a town hall full of people who wanted my head.” Regina’s mouth opens, her eyes angry and dark, causing Ruby to cut her off before she can shoot her down. “Because I know some part of her was real. Even if she had… even if I was just a pawn.”

 

Her mouth twists and she looks away, a heavy sigh leaving her as she crosses her arms. “You weren’t ever just a pawn, Ruby.”

 

She has to believe that too. Because that woman who saved her _did_ exist. She has to. Regina wouldn’t admit that kind of weakness if she didn’t. And she _wants_ , wants so badly it borders on pathetic, she knows, but she can’t stop. Red couldn’t after ten years of fighting this woman. Ruby couldn’t after nearly three decades being cursed by her. So she lets the questions die on her tongue, turns off the voice of that older Red who is begging her to not give into this woman who has tortured her dreams for so long, and steps forward once more, kissing Regina with every bit of longing that has filled her for so many years. Regina returns it sweetly, her Queen once more as she allows herself to be backed against a wall.

 

 

* * *

 

The sky is split at the twilight hour, the pink clouds in the west still holding out against the darkness taking over them, but Ruby can’t force herself to leave Regina’s embrace. They have been granted the time and space to truly savour the moment between them and she felt as if she owed it to that young Red all those years ago to drag it out for as long as she can. So she stretches in the older woman’s arms, extending her neck to press a kiss under Regina’s jaw.

 

“Guess I can answer as to why Ruby’s outfits consist mainly of short-shorts.” She feels the laugh reverberate through Regina’s throat from her spot pressed against her shoulder.

 

“It was a consolation prize.”

 

“Lech.” Another laugh as her hand sifts through Ruby’s streaked hair. “It would seem she took your advice to take what she wants to heart.”

 

“And she made a town full of people happy for it – _ow_.” She smacks Ruby’s shoulder when she pinches Regina’s hip, the two of them wrestling for a moment before Ruby laughs herself, relenting and allowing herself to be rolled onto her back so Regina can stare down at her. She slides her hands up her bare back up to her cropped locks. She likes it, the short hair. So modern. “Look at you,” Regina murmurs softly as leans down to kiss her jaw reverently, “so beautiful…”

 

“And yours,” Ruby finishes softly, meeting Regina’s gaze after a moment who in turn looks conflicted for an instant, guilty and penitent before Ruby steals her lips for a slow kiss. “Don’t drag it up again when we’re in bed. We can both apologize more when we have clothes on.” Another chuckle, but this time there’s little mirth in it. “I knew what I was doing. I did. Even if… I was lying to myself about as much as you were lying to me.”

 

“Can you stay?” Regina asks quietly as she settles at Ruby’s side, trailing her fingers down Ruby’s cheek.

 

“The fact that Granny hasn’t shown up with that crossbow already is shocking.” A genuine smile overtakes red lips and Ruby turns so they’re facing each other. “I wish I–”

 

In the distance a wolf howls, clear and loud, and it sends a chill down her spine as she glances behind her to look out the window at the ever darkening sky. Not too long now, she notes as the moon becomes visible in the distance. It’s too much to deal with so soon and it makes her stomach twist as she remembers the _thing_ she could become again in just a few weeks time.

 

“You’re worried about turning again.”

 

“It’s been almost thirty years,” Ruby sighs as she runs her hand up the arm stretched up to her face. Regina’s skin feels softer than silk, a faintly crisp aroma of apples coming off it. Gods, has she missed touching her. “You don’t know any… any kind of potion or spell?”

 

Regina shakes her head. “We’ll figure something out.”

 

She kisses the scar above Regina’s lip, finding something comforting about the familiar and distinct indent that urges her to push the older woman back on the bed once more, sliding overtop of her and moaning contently as she does. Regina is just as immediate with her insistence on tangling limbs until Ruby is absolutely trapped – more than willingly so. As always she keeps a hand tangled in the hair at the back of Ruby’s head to keep her in place, as always Regina lets out a breathy moan when Ruby’s teeth drag across her lower lip.

 

Another howl grabs her attention and she looks over to the small alarm clock, groaning when she spots the time. The hand behind her neck pulls her back down for a desperate kiss, the other sliding down her bare back and down to her hip, holding them together and making goosebumps ripple down her arms again. No matter how memorable her return to Regina’s bed has been, it doesn’t take a moment for her heart to start beating faster once more under her touch. Clever little queen.

 

“Stay,” Regina murmurs urgently, desperately. Ruby gives into her kisses for moments that stretch into minutes but when the former monarch’s hands start to wander again, she pulls away and ducks her head to avoid another onslaught.

 

“I can’t. Not tonight.” It’s her concession, her admittance, really. There had been no doubt in her mind that she would be coming back to Regina the moment the older woman had kissed her a second time, luxuriating in the privacy an entire home offered them. They could have that now, Ruby didn’t feel the need to rush her reunion, not when the departure had left her so shattered. Besides, she couldn't think straight with Regina in reach again. “I couldn’t sit still for years after I left you. Couldn’t let my hands… be idle. Couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

 

“How could she even look at that farm boy when she had you all to herself?” Regina asks breathlessly, snark gone from her voice and replaced with genuine curiosity. And jealousy. Ruby hopes she’s not imagining that part, so that’s her truth for now.

 

“I think her crush died the moment she found out I had one on her stepmother.” She relaxes against Regina once more as the fight dies down in the woman’s eyes.

 

“Did you ever talk about it?”

 

“I don’t think she wanted to hear it, to be honest. When I… found her again she was so relieved to see me. She said we were starting with a clean slate. I think she meant it.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I couldn’t ever make peace with what I let happen. What I did to her. I still… I don’t care about what happened to the King or Abel except that it hurt her.” She nudges Regina’s nose with her own, an attempt to keep their interaction from toeing the line of too depressing to talk about while naked. "I knew you would have regretted it. I didn't think it would be because she would end up being the grandmother of your son..."

 

"Don't remind me," she mutters obstinately, earning her a small laugh to which Regina responds with the corner of her lip quirking. It would take time on both their parts, for Regina to forgive and Ruby to remember all the damage done to the woman, but they would find their common ground eventually. Regina would have to, Snow would have to let go as well. Red had spent too many years choosing between one or the other and she wasn't going to sit by and go through that again. Henry didn't deserve that kind of fate either.

 

"You absolutely terrified me in this world you know." She presses a warm kiss to Regina's chin. "You terrified everyone. It wasn't until Emma came that I even gave you a second look. Started thinking about you like… like I used to. Smiling. Looking at your ass."

 

"Silver linings to her ruining everything."

 

"Quiet," she warns with a smile, kissing her once quickly before sliding off the woman altogether. A clean break is easier, rushing to redress before she finds herself lost in a haze of warm sheets again. Regina sits back against the headboard and watches her, all disheveled hair and smeared lipstick. She moves to the edge of the mattress as Ruby comes to stand in front of it, reaching up to slide on her tank top, already dressed in her shorts (but missing her poor, mutilated leggings, a victim of Regina’s exuberance and Ruby’s impatience).

 

Before the cotton fabric can fall down Ruby’s body, Regina’s hands are holding her hips, pressing a slow, reverent kiss to the sharp bone straining against pale skin. It makes Ruby’s breath catch, that daunting level of adoration conveyed in the press of a lips, so used to being on the other end rather than the receiver. It’s an uncomfortable amount of power to have over someone, especially someone like Regina Mills. A guilt trip wrapped up in something sincere and Ruby hates to admit it’s working.

 

“Tomorrow,” she concedes as she bends down to pick up the black leather shirt she had tied at the ends over her midriff, remaining kneeling so she can look up at Regina. She slides her hands up the mayor’s thighs, resting her chin on the top of her knees and staring up at her, unable to help the content smile on her lips even in her defeat. She had hoped to hold out at least a day or two before returning to Regina, to allow herself space after scratching a near forty-year itch. “Unless you have plans.”

 

The corner of Regina’s mouth curves up into a smirk, her hands sifting through Ruby’s matted hair and down to her jaw. “You were prettier when you weren’t trying to be funny.” Ruby laughs against her legs, tilting her head to press her lips against the top of Regina’s left knee, below the white sheet marring her view of the woman. She’s never hated a linen more. “I missed you, Ruby Comstock.”

 

“I see you were only a little partial to that name.”

 

“As to the last, your grandmother seems the type to be affronted by a family name change. And the first… well, are you shocked by my lack of creativity as well?” Ruby feels her face split into a grin at the memory of meeting Abigail for the first time, though it dies a little when she thinks about what she's been through in this land since then. “I imagine she and her Frederick have found each other by now. I hear it was Charming who saved him in the end, back in the other world.”

 

“They ended up doing a lot of good for people.”

 

“You don’t include yourself in that?”

 

She shakes her head sits back on her shins, hands gliding around Regina’s calves. “I didn’t fight for any side, just them. And now here I am and David’s telling me I need to be a leader for the town, because I was such a good leader back home. They keep telling me I’m good with people, which is funny because I’d never heard that before.”

 

Regina considers her for a moment, empty hands curling around the stark white sheet wrapped around her. “Ruby was. She was exceptionally good with people.”

 

“Ruby was a puppy whose tail never stopped wagging.”

 

“What an apt description.” She pinches Regina’s thigh for the hell of it, laughing quietly when her hand is smacked away. “You never gave yourself credit. Last I checked, Red had two royal women and half a court full of men smitten with her.” Her chin is grabbed by the abusive hand, fingers curling sweetly around the sharp angle of her jaw. “Ruby wasn’t full of false modesty either.”

 

“She truly was a thing to marvel.” Regina rolls her eyes but her knuckles come up to caress Ruby’s cheek all the same. It feels like she’s spent hours trying to leave. “I can’t stay.”

 

“I’m aware.” Her knuckles drag down Ruby’s face once more. “Sweet girl…”

 

“I’m not, Regina. I’m not that young girl anymore–”

 

“Neither am I,” Regina counters and it’s true enough. Even looking at her, Ruby can see the transformation from the young woman Red had met to the hardened mayor she’d lived with for twenty-eight years.

 

“Well, I want to meet you tomorrow, Regina Mills.”

 

“No more apologies then?”

 

“Mmm, maybe one or two. I seem to recall one or two dog jokes made at Ruby’s expense over the last few years.” The smirk that grows on Regina’s lips is too maddening not to stifle with a kiss and it makes Ruby feel like a teenager again. “You were prettier when you weren’t trying to be funny.”

 

“Some of us don’t have to _try_.” It’s accompanied with another kiss, one that’s greedy and threatens to consume before Ruby pulls back, the gentle hands holding her face. She doesn’t look her queen anymore, she’s all Regina Mills now. “You look frightened of me.”

 

“I’m not, I’m afraid… I’m afraid I’m giving into you far too easily and it’s because–”

 

“Of my unbeatable sense of humour?”

 

“Because of that fucking pretty face of yours,” Ruby fires back, immediately laughing at her own ridiculousness. “I’m afraid that I’m… falling under your little spell again. That I gave in too easily. That I’m some weak, pathetic girl who came running back to you.”

 

Regina’s thumb strokes back and forth a few time before she nods and lets go of Ruby’s face, standing from her position at the edge of the mattress, letting the sheet fall from her form as she moved to walk across the room. And, oh, that isn’t a fair trick, to have to watch this woman step to her dresser bathed in nothing but the moonlight. An even more unfair trick is covering herself up with a robe she pulls from her belongings.

 

“And that’s why you can’t stay.”

 

Ruby blinks and tries to remember their previous exchange as she stares at Regina’s back outlined in iridescent silk. “It’s also why I said I’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

Regina turns to her, leaning back against her dresser and smiling that lovely small smile, the one that’s become laced with all the sadness both Red and Ruby have seen her go through, and even more misery she hadn’t ever been witness to. “You’re free to leave then, you know.” Ruby looks up from her spot kneeling in front of the bed, hands twisting together as she feels herself transform back into a seventeen year-old girl waiting for Regina’s approval to kiss her once more. It’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling. “Come here.”

 

She definitely _does_ feel like that seventeen year-old girl, rising from her spot and walking towards Regina’s waiting form across the room. She grabs the hand that’s waiting for her, running her thumbs over the lines crossing over the other woman’s hand. She recalls with vivid memory that same hand flying across her face. Not the pain or the humiliation, just the hope that Regina hadn’t hurt herself. It should feel pathetic, the waitress is well aware of that, there’s nothing romantic about the thought. It’s as messy as she and Regina have always been. Ruby shouldn’t like that but she does.

 

Her right wrist is grabbed by Regina’s other hand while the one Ruby’s holding frees itself from the werewolf’s grasp and reaches behind to the dresser. Ruby watches her slide the bracelet past her fingers and down to sit on the top of her arm, rubies and diamonds shining even in the lack of light. It had felt like a collar near the end, but it doesn’t tonight.

 

“It’s rude to give back birthday presents, you know.” She can appreciate the levity because she doesn’t want to think back to that night more than she has to; Regina’s hand hurting, her grasp on Red’s heart, the iciness in her voice when she commanded the girl to leave. It’s too much to reconcile after going through so such a jarring shift in her life, after falling in bed with Regina again already, after deciding she can’t stay.

 

“I was so in love with you,” Ruby whispers quietly again, meeting Regina’s gaze once more. The admission before had been to garner more guilt to lob at the women, however true it was. She felt like she has to say it again without the accusation.

 

Regina considers her for a moment, eyes falling to bangle on her wrist while her thumb ran over the gems that created flowers amongst the gold. “You were the biggest surprise in my life.” Ruby drops her forehead to Regina’s, forcing their eyes to meet once more. Regina had needed an in on Snow’s life to keep her calm and happy while she thought out her plans to escape her world. She hadn’t needed another complication in her life, a reckless young girl who kissed queens after killing stewards. “I hate myself for ruining it.”

 

Ruby finally escapes the room, Regina at her side as they descended the winding staircase and made their way to the door. She opens the door but lingers, standing with Regina at the threshold as they look out at the town she created. Even the nights here are idyllic, clear and full of the sounds of the city settling in.

 

“You did a lot of good for people,” she says quietly, earning her a confused, untrusting gaze. “You brought Ashley to a world where she could be with Sean, you gave people lives and jobs they’d love, even… even Snow. You kept me and Granny together.”

 

“You’re giving me a little too much credit.”

 

“That curse was for Snow. You didn’t have to help anyone. You didn’t even have to keep her alive here. Keep David on life support for twenty-eight years.” She turns to face her again, willing herself to step onto the stoop to prove to herself that she can make a vague effort to leave Regina’s bubble. She really just can’t think impartially when the woman is within reaching distance. “You don’t have to believe me, but it’s true.”

 

She doesn’t, judging by the way her eyes cut away and she nods dismissively. Ruby makes it a full step away before her wrist is grabbed once more, Regina’s hold desperate. The mayor, or former mayor, Ruby imagines, lets out a breath and meets the younger woman’s gaze with reserved brown eyes. “You have to believe me when I… I really did hate myself for telling you to leave.”

 

“It would have just been more toxic if I stayed.”

 

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t hate that I told you to leave.”

 

She wants to stay, wrapped up in the misery and fond memories, no matter how interconnected they are. Wants to remember her saviour, not Regina Mills or the Evil Queen, even if they are the same person. She could too. She could stay here in this house and block it all out but it would be a disservice to herself and she knows it. As much as Ruby hates to admit it, she can’t give into Regina so easily, forgive too much when she’s already done a lot.

 

“Tomorrow,” she says for the final time, but she reaches over to kiss her once more, in full view of anyone who could be crossing the street at the moment. Ruby is tired of hiding, tired of needing to be behind closed doors, even with a town full of people who will undoubtedly hate her for not only her relationship with this woman, but even the tiniest bit of a forgiving attitude. Thankfully Old Ruby never cared much for what people thought of her because it’s bled into her new self enough to get by.

 

 _My name is Ruby,_ she begins thinking to herself as she finally wrenches away from Regina and turns down the walkway before she can be sucked in again, an old tactic ingrained from training even after all these years. _My twenty-eighth birthday was last month. I live with my grandmother. We live at the inn. We work in her diner. I am a werewolf. I have been for almost forty years. I killed Peter. I killed Kane. I’ve killed many more. The Queen saved me. Regina saved me. Regina trained me. I owe Regina my life._ A wolf howls somewhere in the distance and it sends another chill up Ruby’s spine, a reminder of her life outside of this human body. _Snow saved me. Snow made me a part of her family after I helped kill hers. I owe Snow my humanity. She will forgive Regina. Regina will forgive her. It will take time. I won’t lose both ever again. My name is Ruby. My twenty-eighth birthday was last month…_


End file.
